Telling my toddler and child I have breast cancer
Hi All, Last month I was diagnosed with IDC and 2 weeks ago I had a single mastectomy. I have a 3 and 5 yr old who I am struggling on how to discuss this with them. So far for all the surgeries and appointments we have told them 'Mummy has a sore booby' which has been enough for them. However I am likely to need chemotherapy and I with the likelyhood of hair loss I will need tell them more about what is going on. I have done reading online into how to do this however it seems to all be directed at older age groups. My children I dont think would understand cancer or even cells. We tell them to brush their teeth so they doing get bugs eating their teeth so I am worried to say I have a bug in my booby to them and scare them of bugs! Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I was wondering if anyone had found a good little video or book to help them understand what cancer is?
New diagnosis, mum guilt and surgery
Hi All! It’s been a big month… recent diagnosis of invasive ductile carinomas x 2 in left breast, E+ PR+HER2LOW+1. Grabbed my breast after shooting pain on night before my 39th birthday, GP few days later, week after that had mammogram/ultrasound/biopsies x 3. Scheduled for bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in a few weeks at the Wesley in Brisbane. Have been feeling quite positive, but now surgery date locked in I’m having a lot more anxiety!! Have 2 kids (5 & 7) that I’m worried about being away from, and have a busy job as a lawyer that I’m keeping going whilst waiting for surgery. I’m finding it a lot to plan for all I want to organise before surgery, so any tips/suggestions/ support would be amazing - I like to be super organised so particularly keen for any recommendations re what to pack etc!!
Young and overwhelmed
Hi all, I'm 30 years old, with the BRCA 2 gene mutation, and was diagnosed after my first high-risk screening MRI found a tumour - mixed lobular and ductal invasive carcinoma, stage 2, grade 2, hormone receptor positive, HER2 negative. Because of my BRCA status, I had a double mastectomy in February 2026. An 11mm tumor was removed alongside a 50mm DCIS component that was associated with the invasive tumor and adjacent tissue was removed from my left breast, but my right breast was all clear. The sentinel lymph node biopsy showed a 1mm micrometastases in one node (of two). Initially, the plan was just a double mastectomy followed by endocrine therapy, but the option of chemo has been put on the table post-surgery (and even the choice of two different regimes). My oncologist's justification was "we want to give you every option available because you're young" but it feels like I've just been given an impossible decision with no clear better option. I'm also having a lot of anxiety around chemo and the implications for fertility as I am yet to have children (I was able to freeze a small number of eggs pre-surgery but I would have to self-fund any further cycles). I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this but maybe I'm just hoping someone will have had a similar experience (especially if you were diagnosed young or before having kids!) or have some words of advice because I'm feeling overwhelmed by all of the choices I'm having to make.
Just diagnosed IDC HR++ Her2 low mulitocal, still awaiting further tests and freaking out!
Hi all nice to meet you all but wish it were under better circumstances. I have just been diagosed earlier this month for a check up that I thought was going to show nothing so I was really thrown. I have a least two 1.5cm lesions and a number of smaller ones they are not sure about yet. Just met with the breast team yesterday for my first appointment. They were all lovely but not much info yet as they need to run more tests. They did two more biopsies of lesions not done initially and also ordered a bone and CT scan as well as an MRI. I was expecting teh MRI as I have Very dense breast tissue. I was not expecting the bone and CT scan, which they said are staging scans, as given the size of the lesions I thought I was considered early breast cancer. She reassured me this was just standard practice for lesions over 1cm but I have been in a tail spin since worrying it is already stage 4. I have a 9 year old son, his dad is completely unreliable and probamatic so does not and will not be living with us anytime soon. I havebnt even told him about it yet as he's not in a potisiton to do anythign right now and it would just cause more stress. I am the sole provider for us and all I can worry about is what happens if I go down. Who pays the mortgage, who puts food on the table. I know this is all way down the line and I keep trying to bring myself back but it's so hard. I am usually a very rational person so this is killing me. My next lot of scans are on Sunday and Monday and my follow up appointment will be a week after that to give them time to review the results and discuss my case before coming up with a plan. On one hand I am terrified it's going to be worse case senario and on the other I am terrified it if is bad news they won't wait until my next appointment and they'll call just before christmas and I'll have to manbage that on my own without ruining my sons day. He's already had to deal with enough of an emotional rollercoaster with his dad I don't want to add more to that. I thought I was doing ok but I'm crumbling. Every ache or pain has me over analysing. I know the waiting is the hardest part. I almost think I would be handling it better on my own as it would be ok to fall apart but I have to stay strong for my son.
Post surgery Rehab options
Hi all, hope you all are doing fine. I wanted to share my experience in y BC journey and also want to get some expert advice/ help if you have been thru this already. I was diagnosed with a stage 3 Triple positive BC last July. Since then I have been going through Chemotherapy and targeted therapy as advised my Breat surgeon and Oncologist. I recently completed my 6th cycle of Chemo and have my surgery scheduled this Saturday on. 6Dec. I will need to undergo full Mastectomy on my left. This will be followed by immediate reconstruction- will be a lengthy process I have been told. While understandably we are all nervous , I am also hopeful that I have been thru half of my battle. I am also a mother of two, and younger one is only 2.5 years old. I am also really anxious about the post surgery situation. My Doctor has told that I should not be taking stairs post surgery after I go back home. Given that I have little kids at home and none of our bedrooms are at downstairs, I am really keen to see if I can stay at a Rehab after I am released from the hospital. This would allow me to heal for few more days and would not endanger myself with the little one ( she jumps on to my lap anytime she wants). That would also help my husband who is my only carer at this stage. Love to get some ideas and advice how can I avail the Rehab facilities. I was also told by my Insurance provider that I have restrictive coverage for Rehab. I am in a tricky situation ( and am sure many of you are ) and wanting see what support can I get at this very difficult time. Many thanks and wish me luck!
Resources for my kids
Hi everyone 👋 I'm 34 years old and recently diagnosed. About to start chemotherapy and want to find some books or resources to help me talk to my young kids about it when I start. I think my 4 year old daughter is going to be particularly shaken by the hair loss and visible impacts of chemo. Any recommendations?
Papillary Lesion - overwhelming anxiety
Hi Everyone, Sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and very alone right now. I have been a member here for 13 years and it's crazy to think that it was initially to help support my mum with her breast cancer. Now, here I am with my own possible issue... My mother developed her breast cancer (stage 2c) at age 46, the same age I am now. She's alive and well after treatment (partial mastectomy and hysterecotomy), but it's also meant that I get my boobs checked regularly via mammo and/or ultrasound. This year, they found a 'papillary lesion or complex cyst' - that's what it says on my GP's referral for me to get another U/S and a core biopsy if needed. I mean, it's hard to NOT know someone who's been through a breast cancer journey these days. There are so many women who've experienced it. I've always felt like my turn was just around the corner. What's probably made me even more anxious is that my dear cousin is battling Stage 4 MBC and I've been in contact with her frequently to try and support her. She and I are in very similar circumstances (ie. living alone with kids) so I can't help but feel very deeply for her. I think holding that emotional space has done a number on me... Compounding the issue is that I have pretty severe PTSD which I've got under control for years now, but suddenly I'm having panic attacks and struggling to do even the most basic tasks. I have no idea what I'll be like when I get the results of the second scan/biopsy. I live alone with my 17-year-old (who has special needs). Frankly, I'm terrified and the fear is paralysing me. GP is urging me to make mental health appointments to get it under control. What will happen to my child if I get sick? Sorry for the ramble. Any advice or wisdom would be so appreciated. I feel better just making this post. Thanks, Effy.Emotional Guidance
Hello 👋 I was just diagnosed two weeks ago with HER2 Positive BC. I’m 36 yrs old with two young children and a wonderful husband. I’m struggling with the mental, emotional side of it all and wondering if anyone could recommend a book to read to help me through. I’m struggling with big feelings of sadness and anger. I seem to have lost my want to get up and do every day things. I just want to sleep to forget. I don’t like this feeling and would really like to read and understand coping mechanisms to get me through. thank you x
Well, there's that then, meta-what?
Self diagnosed lump, x-ray, mammograms, ultrasound, infiltrating mass, biopsy, estrogen +ve, progesterone +ve, HER2 -ve with follow up labs, chest pain, enlarged nodes left arm, CT scan, bone scan, biopsy 2, marker uptake in sternum and liver. Liver ultrasound tomorrow with view to biopsy, if unable, then biopsy sternum. Next appt., 20/12, with view to immediate hormone therapy, depending upon results, start chemotherapy. "It's not good news" "You have metastatic cancer" I have no idea what that means. I've gone from phase 2 infiltrating ductal carcinoma, to "metastatic" - google: stage 4 metastases in the bone and liver - cheers, pending results, in about a week. All I can think about is, who is going to look after/ love my child if something happens to me? He has a delayed learning disability and autism spectrum disorders. He is a gorgeous boy, starts school next year, how much does he understand about what's going to happen to me on chemo/ hormone therapy. All I can think about is him. What am I going to do about him? What can I do for him? Other single Mums, how did you deal with this fear?Support and Family
Hi all, I have already posted my recent diagnosis story. Still going through the very early stages and I see my breast surgeon for the first time tomorrow. Today has been a bit tough. My son (15) was already suffering from anxiety prior to this diagnosis (although through meds and psychologist he was starting to get better), but it has really sent him in a spiral. He didn't want to attend school today and that was a real battle to get him there. I feel guilty that he is going through this and the problem is that things for me will certainly get worse before they get better (not to be negative, but I don't think the treatment will be a walk in the park) and this will all impact him. He says that when he is at school he cannot focus and I feel so bad for him. He is in Yr 10, but doing accelerated maths (so has started the year 12 component there). With all the anxiety he has had recently his work had already started to go downhill and now with this it is really suffering. My sister is incredibly supportive and positive, but I feel that I am ringing her constantly with my issues and didn't want to share this with her. I know that they want to be there for you, but I don't want to impact other's mental health. This doesn't only affect us, it also affects everyone around us. Does everyone feel like this when first diagnosed? I am sure it gets easier to navigate down the track. Yesterday my son asked if I was dying. It is difficult to answer this, since I don't know whether it has spread or not myself. Obviously, I do not say this to him, but how do others talk to their kids about this?