Telling my toddler and child I have breast cancer
Hi All, Last month I was diagnosed with IDC and 2 weeks ago I had a single mastectomy. I have a 3 and 5 yr old who I am struggling on how to discuss this with them. So far for all the surgeries and appointments we have told them 'Mummy has a sore booby' which has been enough for them. However I am likely to need chemotherapy and I with the likelyhood of hair loss I will need tell them more about what is going on. I have done reading online into how to do this however it seems to all be directed at older age groups. My children I dont think would understand cancer or even cells. We tell them to brush their teeth so they doing get bugs eating their teeth so I am worried to say I have a bug in my booby to them and scare them of bugs! Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I was wondering if anyone had found a good little video or book to help them understand what cancer is?
New diagnosis, mum guilt and surgery
Hi All! It’s been a big month… recent diagnosis of invasive ductile carinomas x 2 in left breast, E+ PR+HER2LOW+1. Grabbed my breast after shooting pain on night before my 39th birthday, GP few days later, week after that had mammogram/ultrasound/biopsies x 3. Scheduled for bilateral mastectomy with DIEP flap reconstruction in a few weeks at the Wesley in Brisbane. Have been feeling quite positive, but now surgery date locked in I’m having a lot more anxiety!! Have 2 kids (5 & 7) that I’m worried about being away from, and have a busy job as a lawyer that I’m keeping going whilst waiting for surgery. I’m finding it a lot to plan for all I want to organise before surgery, so any tips/suggestions/ support would be amazing - I like to be super organised so particularly keen for any recommendations re what to pack etc!!
Young and overwhelmed
Hi all, I'm 30 years old, with the BRCA 2 gene mutation, and was diagnosed after my first high-risk screening MRI found a tumour - mixed lobular and ductal invasive carcinoma, stage 2, grade 2, hormone receptor positive, HER2 negative. Because of my BRCA status, I had a double mastectomy in February 2026. An 11mm tumor was removed alongside a 50mm DCIS component that was associated with the invasive tumor and adjacent tissue was removed from my left breast, but my right breast was all clear. The sentinel lymph node biopsy showed a 1mm micrometastases in one node (of two). Initially, the plan was just a double mastectomy followed by endocrine therapy, but the option of chemo has been put on the table post-surgery (and even the choice of two different regimes). My oncologist's justification was "we want to give you every option available because you're young" but it feels like I've just been given an impossible decision with no clear better option. I'm also having a lot of anxiety around chemo and the implications for fertility as I am yet to have children (I was able to freeze a small number of eggs pre-surgery but I would have to self-fund any further cycles). I'm not entirely sure why I'm posting this but maybe I'm just hoping someone will have had a similar experience (especially if you were diagnosed young or before having kids!) or have some words of advice because I'm feeling overwhelmed by all of the choices I'm having to make.Chest Cancer Breast Cancer
Hello readers (all members, carers, staff, the public), Having read various requests, pleas, posts that communicate the need to INCLUDE males, in fact all people of any gender and age, and still see vastly inadequate awareness and action, please understand why this call for action might reflect how urgent, emphatic and furious it can become. How many requests, how many years, how many lives suffering shame/embarrassment/stigma/isolation, how many deaths, how much ignorance, even among today's GPs, how little support, how many undiagnosed cancer cases??? For anyone who cannot feel empathy, like it-does-not-affect-me or they-are-JUST-minority, then think… if it is your: son, brother, father, partner, husband, grandfather, grandmother, child, other loved ones, or someone you respect. Actions please, especially by BCNA, and other organisations, in the position of power to do something about it -right now. Strongly recommend: Marketing Team, able and influential. BCNA pages’ banners are the worst misinformation propagator of ‘women-only, pink pink bathing-big-busts-the-goal-in-life; no children, no males, no matter cancer undiagnosed untreated they are nobody. Requests of years ago still ignored. Please right now stop plastering pink pink bright pink all over, highlighting bulging breasts in pink bathing suits as if for a women-only swim club, exclusively pink bright pink skirts, and just women maniacally laughing. Over-the-top incongruous. Please don’t switch to extreme stereotypes either, like typically the most wrinkly hand being held by an age-contrast hand, in copy-cat robots’ stock-photos marketing. While you’re adjusting, please very ably and kindly reduce all the auto flipping/sliding panels, hyperactive donate-button, and fast drop-drown whenever we just hover or just breathe; it’s turning us into a nervous twitchy moving-image-nauseous wreck. Some have x months to live, can marketing spend 3 hours to make a beta, 3 days to go live, for them to see in time? Merchandise. Please adjust the pink pink pink ribbons. How about a more INFORMATIVE, educating, creative, inclusive pink+green+brown for example, avoiding gender-again gender blue. Something neutral and universal? A flower+leaf+stem, sun moon star, or a simple band? A sticky post please, kind can-do staff, to educate and change habit. Something like “Genderless breast cancer affects all”, in green? Avoid gender-colour. Members posting please use neutral communication instead of all these ‘lovely ladies’. We are supposed to know better, and the public can read these posts to learn from us. No, it is not enough to have ONE day of the year for half the population -cancer affects everyone in the person’s life. No, it is not acceptable to shove males, children, and so-name-called CALD (we are all of us diverse multicultural so it’s not right for one group to name call the ‘others’ as diverse) to go talk among yourselves in that corner or in a locked group. As if get out of my sight. As if we don’t care. As if you’re not one of us. It is not fair to burden this task on the shoulders of the ‘not one of us’ to educate the mass. The task is on us. Please get updates of info to reach and make sure GPs and all other medical professionals are up-to-date and aware. Still a problem, in 2026. Please action, everyone. Kind members please do, if not already. Please search ‘male’, ‘men’, and topic ‘Inclusion’ 2019? on this site, to listen, to hear, to understand, to be kinder. Let’s mark today’s date 20-Mar-2026 awaiting action. We are counting, each day. More suffering. Any effective action. Please. With hope and thanks. [Edit: Tagging PeterB and traveltext to acknowledge and show appreciation.]
Just diagnosed IDC HR++ Her2 low mulitocal, still awaiting further tests and freaking out!
Hi all nice to meet you all but wish it were under better circumstances. I have just been diagosed earlier this month for a check up that I thought was going to show nothing so I was really thrown. I have a least two 1.5cm lesions and a number of smaller ones they are not sure about yet. Just met with the breast team yesterday for my first appointment. They were all lovely but not much info yet as they need to run more tests. They did two more biopsies of lesions not done initially and also ordered a bone and CT scan as well as an MRI. I was expecting teh MRI as I have Very dense breast tissue. I was not expecting the bone and CT scan, which they said are staging scans, as given the size of the lesions I thought I was considered early breast cancer. She reassured me this was just standard practice for lesions over 1cm but I have been in a tail spin since worrying it is already stage 4. I have a 9 year old son, his dad is completely unreliable and probamatic so does not and will not be living with us anytime soon. I havebnt even told him about it yet as he's not in a potisiton to do anythign right now and it would just cause more stress. I am the sole provider for us and all I can worry about is what happens if I go down. Who pays the mortgage, who puts food on the table. I know this is all way down the line and I keep trying to bring myself back but it's so hard. I am usually a very rational person so this is killing me. My next lot of scans are on Sunday and Monday and my follow up appointment will be a week after that to give them time to review the results and discuss my case before coming up with a plan. On one hand I am terrified it's going to be worse case senario and on the other I am terrified it if is bad news they won't wait until my next appointment and they'll call just before christmas and I'll have to manbage that on my own without ruining my sons day. He's already had to deal with enough of an emotional rollercoaster with his dad I don't want to add more to that. I thought I was doing ok but I'm crumbling. Every ache or pain has me over analysing. I know the waiting is the hardest part. I almost think I would be handling it better on my own as it would be ok to fall apart but I have to stay strong for my son.
Post surgery Rehab options
Hi all, hope you all are doing fine. I wanted to share my experience in y BC journey and also want to get some expert advice/ help if you have been thru this already. I was diagnosed with a stage 3 Triple positive BC last July. Since then I have been going through Chemotherapy and targeted therapy as advised my Breat surgeon and Oncologist. I recently completed my 6th cycle of Chemo and have my surgery scheduled this Saturday on. 6Dec. I will need to undergo full Mastectomy on my left. This will be followed by immediate reconstruction- will be a lengthy process I have been told. While understandably we are all nervous , I am also hopeful that I have been thru half of my battle. I am also a mother of two, and younger one is only 2.5 years old. I am also really anxious about the post surgery situation. My Doctor has told that I should not be taking stairs post surgery after I go back home. Given that I have little kids at home and none of our bedrooms are at downstairs, I am really keen to see if I can stay at a Rehab after I am released from the hospital. This would allow me to heal for few more days and would not endanger myself with the little one ( she jumps on to my lap anytime she wants). That would also help my husband who is my only carer at this stage. Love to get some ideas and advice how can I avail the Rehab facilities. I was also told by my Insurance provider that I have restrictive coverage for Rehab. I am in a tricky situation ( and am sure many of you are ) and wanting see what support can I get at this very difficult time. Many thanks and wish me luck!
Resources for my kids
Hi everyone 👋 I'm 34 years old and recently diagnosed. About to start chemotherapy and want to find some books or resources to help me talk to my young kids about it when I start. I think my 4 year old daughter is going to be particularly shaken by the hair loss and visible impacts of chemo. Any recommendations?
Papillary Lesion - overwhelming anxiety
Hi Everyone, Sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and very alone right now. I have been a member here for 13 years and it's crazy to think that it was initially to help support my mum with her breast cancer. Now, here I am with my own possible issue... My mother developed her breast cancer (stage 2c) at age 46, the same age I am now. She's alive and well after treatment (partial mastectomy and hysterecotomy), but it's also meant that I get my boobs checked regularly via mammo and/or ultrasound. This year, they found a 'papillary lesion or complex cyst' - that's what it says on my GP's referral for me to get another U/S and a core biopsy if needed. I mean, it's hard to NOT know someone who's been through a breast cancer journey these days. There are so many women who've experienced it. I've always felt like my turn was just around the corner. What's probably made me even more anxious is that my dear cousin is battling Stage 4 MBC and I've been in contact with her frequently to try and support her. She and I are in very similar circumstances (ie. living alone with kids) so I can't help but feel very deeply for her. I think holding that emotional space has done a number on me... Compounding the issue is that I have pretty severe PTSD which I've got under control for years now, but suddenly I'm having panic attacks and struggling to do even the most basic tasks. I have no idea what I'll be like when I get the results of the second scan/biopsy. I live alone with my 17-year-old (who has special needs). Frankly, I'm terrified and the fear is paralysing me. GP is urging me to make mental health appointments to get it under control. What will happen to my child if I get sick? Sorry for the ramble. Any advice or wisdom would be so appreciated. I feel better just making this post. Thanks, Effy.Emotional Guidance
Hello 👋 I was just diagnosed two weeks ago with HER2 Positive BC. I’m 36 yrs old with two young children and a wonderful husband. I’m struggling with the mental, emotional side of it all and wondering if anyone could recommend a book to read to help me through. I’m struggling with big feelings of sadness and anger. I seem to have lost my want to get up and do every day things. I just want to sleep to forget. I don’t like this feeling and would really like to read and understand coping mechanisms to get me through. thank you x
Questions to ask 'Post Surgery' of yourself - to your Specialists - Tick Sheets - Self assessment
I know that after my own surgery, I didn't always quite know what questions to ask of my surgeon and 'the team' that we all see regularly for the first 5 years following our treatment - so I set about looking for 'tick sheets' that would help me, as these appointments approached! I came across some really interesting files. They are all 'multi paged' so I've put a 'sample page' from each document to give you an idea of what is in it. The first booklet is available at most Cancer Clinics and was put out by the Cancer Council - 'Living Well After Cancer'. It is a good one to give to friends & relatives to read as well - to give them an idea of the longterm affects of cancer even after successful treatment - as they often think that once you've had your surgery, chemo, rads & tabs - that you are now 'well'. We all know that that is NOT necessarily the case! :( It really is a lifetime sentence. This booklet covers a lot of areas that concern us all - and may be able to help answer questions in many situations that we face. (sample page) The 2nd one is: "Questions to ask 'post cancer' " - a 'tick sheet' - these questions could be spread across the whole team - your surgeon, Onc and Rad Onc as well as GP. Tick the ones that are relevant to you in the lead up to your individual appointments. (sample page) The next is "Self Care Specific Symptoms" - this sheet could also be for any of your team - with the 2nd section relating more to mental health issues that may impact you. (sample sheet) And finally - a Survivorship Care Plan - virtually a ''Self Assessment Yearly Checkup'' sheet .... which has more specific symptoms that you may be concerned about and also has pages for noting yearly checkups required re Dexa, Mammograms, Colonoscopy, MRI etc - almost a 'diary' to keep re future appointments. (sample Pages) Write down the dates you've had them, and when the next one is. Add any other exams that are not already there You can use any or all of these documents to track how you feel you are progressing - date them & further down the track, you can compare them to see how you are travelling. Take care & I hope these sheets help in tracking your health - both mental and physical. xxx
