Are you a breast cancer survivor who happens to be childless?
I have been a member of this online network since 2014, just after my diagnosis. At a recent breast cancer seminar at a city near where I live, something hit me like it hasn't in all this time, the subject of survivors who happen to be childless. I thought to myself, "Noone talks about this. Why?" This has led me to do my research, as you do, I found this demographic of women are at higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. It is explained this way, you are at a lower risk of diagnosis if you have children. Interesting I thought, Nuns are at a higher risk of breast cancer and ovarian, not that I am a Nun but an interesting statistic that gets me thinking. Which brings me to why I am posting. I am putting it out there in a courageous way to see if there is another like me. Courageous because for 30 years after my extensive efforts to go forth and multiply I walked away childless. The one thing I learned was to keep it to yourself as I found there were lots of people willing to give you their advice, just like they do with breast cancer 'cures', an emotive issue is best kept to yourself for your own emotional survival. I am running a personal survey just to see if there are other women within this network who are in the same boat as me. Does anyone else feel a little left out when sitting in a seminar and not to be included in the discussions? I tell ya, there is a real sense of alienation, but culturally we are told to, 'just get over it', which is fine and life for me has been fulfilling in spite of it all. My GP doesn't know of another single patient like me which isn't very encouraging in finding my tribe, my mother always said I am different when all you want to do is be like everyone else. So please step forward if you are like me or if you know someone who has a similar story. I feel it is a subject that needs discussion and inclusion because in society we, the childless women are 1 in 5, by choice or by circumstance. Cheers Janet
New To BCNA
Hello Everyone, My name is Gavin and my wife (Karen) was recently advised she had BC (March 9th), I’ve been a rock for her and our two kids at home (we’re in our 50’s) and have advised my girls living at home that I’m there for their mums journey and will be her biggest support person, I’ve done a bit of reading over the last could of weeks through these boards and reminded our kids to be strong and positive around mum but also mentioned that it will get a bit tougher for her as the months roll on but if they needed to share worries or concerns, I would be there for them and would love the chance to share mine with them if and when needing too, however advised them we would need to do this away from mum so we can ensure she remains strong and has positivity around her. We have our first appointment with a care team to learn more about things this week and I was wondering what I may expect with regards to her treatment (yet to know) causing tiredness etc, I was hoping to take her on a short cruise for 3-5 days to give her some enjoyment and relaxing time however I see most of the good ones are limited / full meaning the next available time could be Jan 2020. I will ask the doctors but was hoping to surprise my wife but was wondering if I should look at something else prior to commencing treatment or wait until after treatment even though I’m unsure of recovery timing. I know each and everyone’s plan is different and my question may not be readily available for an answer, I’m just looking at things she’s been wanting to do but has never really had the time to so. We’ve already been through a lot of health issues together and I’m just wanting to take some of that worry I see away and for me to try and pre-plan a bit.
Questions to ask 'Post Surgery' of yourself - to your Specialists - Tick Sheets - Self assessment
I know that after my own surgery, I didn't always quite know what questions to ask of my surgeon and 'the team' that we all see regularly for the first 5 years following our treatment - so I set about looking for 'tick sheets' that would help me, as these appointments approached! I came across some really interesting files. They are all 'multi paged' so I've put a 'sample page' from each document to give you an idea of what is in it. The first booklet is available at most Cancer Clinics and was put out by the Cancer Council - 'Living Well After Cancer'. It is a good one to give to friends & relatives to read as well - to give them an idea of the longterm affects of cancer even after successful treatment - as they often think that once you've had your surgery, chemo, rads & tabs - that you are now 'well'. We all know that that is NOT necessarily the case! :( It really is a lifetime sentence. This booklet covers a lot of areas that concern us all - and may be able to help answer questions in many situations that we face. (sample page) The 2nd one is: "Questions to ask 'post cancer' " - a 'tick sheet' - these questions could be spread across the whole team - your surgeon, Onc and Rad Onc as well as GP. Tick the ones that are relevant to you in the lead up to your individual appointments. (sample page) The next is "Self Care Specific Symptoms" - this sheet could also be for any of your team - with the 2nd section relating more to mental health issues that may impact you. (sample sheet) And finally - a Survivorship Care Plan - virtually a ''Self Assessment Yearly Checkup'' sheet .... which has more specific symptoms that you may be concerned about and also has pages for noting yearly checkups required re Dexa, Mammograms, Colonoscopy, MRI etc - almost a 'diary' to keep re future appointments. (sample Pages) Write down the dates you've had them, and when the next one is. Add any other exams that are not already there You can use any or all of these documents to track how you feel you are progressing - date them & further down the track, you can compare them to see how you are travelling. Take care & I hope these sheets help in tracking your health - both mental and physical. xxx
Dark days
Just diagnosed this month, 1.5.cm invasive tumour, plus 3mm by 3mm tumour I couldn't feel. I am 46, have had regular mammograms and ultrasounds for years due to lumpy, dense breasts. I self checked religiously and I still didn't feel this lump until it got to 1.5cm. I had lumpectomy and sentinel nodes out one week ago, and now find 5 out of 6 nodes have malignant cells, and the margin around the larger tumour shows carcinoma insitu that needs to be removed, so I am having a full mastectomy Monday plus full axilla node removal, portacath inserted and I will start chemo before Christmas. I have 4 children, youngest 7, oldest 16 and telling them was horrendous and watching their fears and answering their questions. Trying hard to keep going as normal and reassure them I will do all I can to be here for them. I have a CT of chest and abdomen today that surgeon tells me is just a baseline for the oncologist for chemo but I am terrified it will show metastisis somewhere in there and it will be too late. Its been one month since I found this lump and made an appointment that day with my GP and I feel like this diagnosis/surgery/treatment thing is taking forever. I just wanted it out the day I found it. My husband is amazing and this is bringing us very close as we realise we can't take each other for granted any more. I have a very supportive family and have so much to be thankful for when others struggle through alone. But, feeling very alone and scared right now. Thanks for reading.
35 y/o and diagnosed with HER2 positive breast Cancer
Hello, I am new on this online discussion thread but I find it very encouraging. Here it goes.. Is anyone out there who is HER2 positive who is the same age range like me? I just got got diagnosed on the 25th of Nov and I just cried my hearts out because I cant believe that its me. But of course cancer doesnt choose right it just does what it does. The thing is I am a nurse by profession and to read my pathology report I cant believe that what I am reading is my own result not someone else which I am used to doing. Then I started blaming myself because I was not proactive on my health management when I went to GP. She told me its nothing and did not even perform a biopsy which I should have insisted. Backtracking I felt the lump 10weeks ago before I was officially diagnosed and everything was pretty full on after that in terms of the treatment. Right now, I am crying again because I am scared. You see I have two kids a 3y/o and a 1y/o. I cry for the future. I really wanted to beat this cancer. I want to build more memories with the bubs because you know they are still to young to remember me if God decided to take me...
Is it possible for a 16-year-old to get breast cancer?
I'm 16 and have a family history of breast cancer. My mother carried both the BRCA 1 & 2 genes (and was diagnosed during her mid-thirties) from my nan, who had breast cancer three times. I've been checking my breasts regularly from the age of 13 (at my pop's suggestion), and have recently noticed a small lump underneath my left nipple, as well as discharge from my nipple, a rash around it and a painful breast. Is it possible for me to have breast cancer at this age?
Grade 3 Triple Negative
hi!! I just wanted to say my first hello and what an amazing place this is to come for loads of wonderful advice and info!! I was diagnosed on 6th Nov with Grade 3 Triple Negative IDC and am having a double mastectomy with reconstruction next wed 4th Dec. I’m a mum of 3 (19,16 & 7) and had only just turned 40 when I experienced a sharp pain in my breast and went to have it checked. No staging as of yet, I had one swollen lymph node biopsied which came back clear and CT was clear apart from pre existing liver hemangiomas (just something else to add to the mix) but still waiting on bone scan results.........if that isn’t the most anxiety endusing thing on the planet I don’t know what is, Ive been hyper sensitive to every ache and pain I get!! Chemo is planned for the new year. Anxious but eager to get into it, all the waiting is the worst 😣
Getting ready for Chemo, any advice?
Hi beautiful women, I’m new here, I’m a 33yo mum with 3 kids, recently diagnosed with hormone +, stage 3, grade 3. Had a double mastectomy and lymph nodes removed on the 30/3, going to see the oncologist next week and start Chemo. Would love some advice on preparing for this, recovery from surgery has been hard but chemo is more daunting to me...
New to BCNA
Hi. I was diagnosed with bc in January. Ive had a single mastectomy and have round 4 of dose dense chemo on wednesday. I'm 37 and have no family history. I have 2 sons 13 and 14 and dont know anyone who has been through this, let alone anyone around my age going through this. I'm not usually a blog/forum type person but with a long journey still ahead, its getting lonely so I thought I'd try reaching out on here :). Im in adelaide and look forward to meeting some new people i can relate to and talk to. X
Stage 1 hormone sensitive to Stage IV
Diagnosed last week with stage 1, hormone sensitive BC in my left breast after I came across a lump. I am 41 with 2 little sons, 4 & 6- it was a massive shock. After CT, bone scans & MRIs this week, my diagnosis has now changed to stage IV oligometastatic BC after finding it had spread to one vertebrae. To say I’m devastated is an understatement going from a curable stage 1 cancer to this. I am beside myself with worry on what this means for my kids- not being there for them, the battle ahead, continuing to work/pay mortgage & health bills and what being diagnosed with stage IV really means, particularly in regards to life expectancy. I don’t even know how I am going to cope/function with this news. I am meeting with my oncologist tomorrow to discuss what’s next- perhaps this will help. I did have surgery planned for mid April but this may change now. I would love to hear any suggestions on coping with your diagnosis, esp those with metastatic breast cancer. How do you stay positive to get through it? Thanks so much x
