Forum Discussion

rosehaven's avatar
rosehaven
Member
9 years ago

Well, there's that then, meta-what?

Self diagnosed lump, x-ray, mammograms, ultrasound, infiltrating mass, biopsy, estrogen +ve, progesterone +ve, HER2 -ve with follow up labs, chest pain, enlarged nodes left arm, CT scan, bone scan, biopsy 2, marker uptake in sternum and liver.
Liver ultrasound tomorrow with view to biopsy, if unable, then biopsy sternum. Next appt., 20/12, with view to immediate hormone therapy, depending upon results, start chemotherapy.
"It's not good news"
"You have metastatic cancer"
I have no idea what that means.
I've gone from phase 2 infiltrating ductal carcinoma, to "metastatic" - google: stage 4 metastases in the bone and liver - cheers, pending results, in about a week.

All I can think about is, who is going to look after/ love my child if something happens to me? He has a delayed learning disability and autism spectrum disorders. He is a gorgeous boy, starts school next year, how much does he understand about what's going to happen to me on chemo/ hormone therapy. All I can think about is him. What am I going to do about him? What can I do for him?
Other single Mums, how did you deal with this fear?
children
metastases
  • melclarity's avatar
    melclarity
    Member
    9 years ago
    @rosehaven I'm sorry to hear of your news! Its incredibly overwhelming not to mention thinking of your children. Im a single parent also of 2 and been through this twice in 5yrs. I also work with Autistic children 7yrs now. It is hard, but what you need is to get a really great support network together, however that looks for you. With him starting School, I'd advise them of your situation, and they will absolutely help anyway they can, even have suggestions of support. One step at a time, big breath and just do a day at a time until you know your path. Talk, talk, talk be it to your Breast Care Nurse, your Surgeon, Oncologist...anyone! even us here!! Ive go a wealth of help here, that I wouldnt have found answers to!! Hugs,Melinda xo
  • Cosette's avatar
    Cosette
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi @rosehaven. I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. How old is your son? We have a couple of resources for children. We have a comic book aid that parents use to help explain cancer to young children and we also partner with CanTeen to provide support for young people between 12 and 25 who are affected by cancer. If you'd like to order these free resources, give us a call at 1800 500 258 and we can post these to you.
  • Irish50's avatar
    Irish50
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi @rosehaven.  I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  It's such a scary time and the waiting is soul destroying.  Sending you virtual hugs and strength.   <3
  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi Rosehaven - just to let you know we are all here on the forum to help you through where we can.  Meta-what along with a lot of other terminologies that we come to learn and specialists that you didn't know existed.  Wishing you all the best with treatment and the support network through here reading posts and joining groups will help you!  Have you got a breast care nurse as she will be your go to between your medical team and her. 
    Take care and sending you a virtual hug, you will get through this
    from Christine xx
  • socoda's avatar
    socoda
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi Rosehaven, So sorry that you find yourself on the forum under these circumstances. As for your son, I don't know his level of functionality but does he need to know the intricacies  or just that mum is not well and what he can do to help you? Do you have a network at home that you can call on for assistance that your son feels comfortable with and that will give you time out if you are not feeling 100%? It's such a hard situation for you but we are here to try and help you as much as we can.  Xx Cath
  • Jane221's avatar
    Jane221
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi Rosehaven, what a terrible shock for you, with so much to process in such a short time.  I hope that some of the great suggestions made above are of help to you as you navigate your way through this.

    My children were 8yrs and 13yrs at the time I was diagnosed and there were a few things that helped me ; 1) Letting the schools know and communicating with them throughout my treatment - they were able to keep an eye on both children and help them out when they were struggling and both school communities were generally supportive with meals, hampers etc. 2) The Cancer Council's booklet; Talking to Kids about Cancer was an excellent guide and helped us to work out what to say at their individual levels. Hopefully your breast care nurse will also be able to point you in the direction of local support services as there are organisations that can often help with a lot of the little things that might need doing, or to access respite services for you or your son. Sending hugs, Jane xx
  • SoldierCrab's avatar
    SoldierCrab
    Member
    9 years ago
    Hi Rosehaven, I have 2 boys with Autism... so I understand the extra stress of explaining things to him.  Do you already access respite services for him because of the Autism? if so get in touch with your case worker they will help with what extra helps you could access. My boys were older but I kept it to the KISS way of doing things keep it simple stupid.... as @socoda
     said  just telling him simply that you are unwell might be all he is able to cope with.  Take it One day at a time... 
    hugs and energy to help you navigate this path.