Tomorrows the day

Even though I chose a mastectomy over lumpectomy and bilateral over unilateral I still cried a lot at losing my breast. It was a big part of me...it fed my 3 children...it was a huge part of my intimacy with my husband. However not for a moment did I hesitate to do it but it doesn't mean I wasn't  sad. I still miss my breasts but my focus now is getting through chemo and being cancer free. I went for immediate reconstruction which helped a bit...but I understand why you can't with what's  happening. Know that you will get through this and you are more than your breasts. Healing thoughts heading your way. Take care. Kath x

I am sorry to hear your news. I can understand how you feel, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my right breast and I needed to have a mastectomy. I decided I wanted a double mastectomy because I didn't want to feel like a freak. I didn't want breast reconstruction because I am extremely overweight and a size G cup and I was advised against it anyway. My risk of going under a anaesthetic was higher than most (15% as opposed to the average 5%) and this figure would double by having a double mastectomy and the surgeon also advised me that if the left wound site ( from the removal of the cancer free breast) took longer (or worse, became infected) then this would delay the start of any further treatment I may need. Stll, I pushed on for the double mastectomy. I had my case to be put forward to the medical review team ( I tried twice) and my surgeon even referred me to someone else for a second opinion. Still the answer was the same (I delayed my surgery by 6 weeks) whilst arguing with the the medical team. It was only when my breast cancer nurse said to me to me "what is more important?  Removing a breast or saving your life? My surgeon agreed to remove the left breast for me in 12 months time (or after any necessary treatment ( I have just found out I need  chemo and radiation) was finished. 5 weeks post surgery and I have to admit that my surgeon was right. The surgery went well but recovery from the anaesthetic not so much, 2 days in ICU . ). I have to admit that my medical team was right. Don't get me wrong, I have had several really good cries over the past 5 weeks but I have also had wonderful support from my Psychologist and breast cancer support group as well as this website, family and friends. If you think it might help, see your gp for a referral to a psychologist for 10 sessions under the Medicare mental health plan. I have found it helps to talk to someone that you can share your private fears, grief, or anything else you might be feeling. They can also give you mindfulness exercises to help you. Goodrich with your surgery,  post surgery recovery and test results. 

I am so sorry that you have had to go through so much already. I had a mastectomy straight up as my cancer was in two areas and there would have been nothing left with 2 areas to remove. I never really worried about losing the breast as I was more focused on getting rid of the cancer. 

I think Jel has put it so well when she says that it was the cancer not the surgery that takes our breast or parts there of.

They can do wonders with reconstruction and there is a terrific group on here that can give you lots of support and info about that. I thought I would want reconstruction but after 7 months of treatment I felt differently. I am now more than 3 years from my surgery and live very happily with one healthy breast and one prosthesis.

It's reassuring to know that there are good options no matter what your situation. The main thing is to get rid of the cancer so you can live a long healthy life. I feel well and healthy now and know that losing a breast was just what I had to do to get to here. 

Maybe one day there will be another way but meanwhile I am glad that my cancer was treatable.

Deanne xxx

Hi I also had 2 lumpectomys  and then they decided that they couldn't achieve good margins A mastectomy was recommended, this sent me into a tail spin as this was not in the plan. Of course I had the surgery with reconstruction at the same time, yes it was a shock and the thought of losing my breast was hard to take but all I wanted was to have the cancer taken. I had my surgery in 2014 and I'm still getting used to my new breast, but the reality is I'm here and moving on. 

Yes it is hard but you will get there one day at a time xxx

I hope the surgery and recovery goes well. I hated the drain, that gave me more grief than the wound site. I am still to cry about losing my right boob as to me I now look normal. My mum and my aunt both lost a breast and then their lives to BC, so to me this is just another success/step in my fight against cancer. I could have had a lumpectomy but got the breast off, as far as I was concerned it was trying to kill me. Good riddance to it. We are all different and I hope in time you can see a breast doesn't define you, all great fighters have scars.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with such horrid experience... It is hard dealing without infections and repeat surgeries muchless with all that pain and recovery.

I think everyone once faced with the surgery feels grief and sense of loss and absolute fear of the unknown. I found through this whole process (before the surgery) every doctor I spoke with without my asking about it mentioned reconstruction and whatever is taken in surgery can be fixed. Not many people knew about my BC yet all that knew immediately 'comforted me' by telling me cosmetic surgerey would fix everything. Weiridly I was not even thinking it.

There is so much emphasis on how our boobs and hair look by others that unavoidable it gets into our heads and starts to make us think like it is really that important...

I mean offcourse I care - everyone does and absolutely normal to be anxious and sad before some surgeon comes in to remove what is part of you but one thing I reareali afterwards was that it was not my flesh he cut off... He had cut out the cancer. My flesh was gone already as the bastardd cancer had taken it.

I had my surgery under a local anaesthetic (as cannot have general) and as awake in theatre I asked them to show me what was cut out... I wanted to know what the bastard looked like and to know it was really gone.

May sound weird and morbid to ask such a thing but I am glad i did. What sat in a ziplock bag was not my flesh - it was a nasty bloob and it was not me. That is when it kind of dawned on me that my boob was taken by cancer so what is gone is just cancer and we are way way way more than just the sum of our body parts.

You are a strong amazing woman dealing with one of the most horrifying illnesses and what is cut out today is not  your breast - it is just something that bitch cancer has taken away already. When gets taken away is pain and turture and stress and you are given a new lease on life... Who cares about a bit of flesh - cosmetics can be fixed if you decide that is what you desire long term... The main thing is that cancer goes and you stay to have a long and happy life... Yes it will be a shock but it is just a flesh wound and they can be fixed so do be strong - when it is gone grieve for it but then remember - it is just a foreign bunch of cells and when all.is said and done you can look exactly the same as you used to and be healthy and happy for a long time. You are way way way more than the sum of your parts...

Hugs

Jel