Scared of recurrence!!

Hi Peta, I am 34 years old and a mum for 2 gorgeous boys 4 and 7 . Same as u i was diagnosed in march i picked to do chemo before surgery and guess what after 4 FEC and 4 taxol i had lumpectomy only to find out that chemo didnt work at all and the lump i had grew from 3 cm to 7cm and 3 positives nodes. Then i had mastectomy and now i am doing radiation i need 25 treatments... Am i scared??? Of course yes.. Especially that mu doctor gave me no hope at all... At the beginning i was devastated i used to cry all the time and i beleive no kid should be raised without his parents...But u know what i told myself i am gonna enjoy my kids im not gonna let cancer change who i am., no one has an expiry date on his back and everything happen for a reason... I booked a holiday to disneyland next august when im feeling down i think i might not be around to go and enjoy it but when my kids talk about it i feel the excitment in their voice and i tell myself i have to be here for them... They are my inspiration!!! Be positive, positive people live longer... Enjoy your life do what makes u happy and dont worry because worrying too much is not gonna change the outcome....

It's a hard road with no easy answers. Wishing you all the best with your decision. TNBC seems daunting but I read as much as I could and found I could get my head around the statistics better. All the best. Deb

I cann't believe its 12 months since my roller coaster ride began. My journey has been almost the same as yours and I have had all the same thoughts.I decided the girls had one and only one chance to let me down and if they blew it again, its a double mastectomy for me. I too could not stand the thought of chemo and feeling so miserable for so long.

All the best with your decision.

Mause

 

 

Hi Ladies,  

Thank you for all your messages.   I am encouraged by everyones stories.  I saw my onc today, and she was very helpful,  Ihelping me realise that no matter what the decision, it's the right one for me.   I am not so much concerened with dying from breast cancer, or survival rates.  For me it's the feeling of not wanting to do chemo again.  I don't want to see my kids see me go though that again.  That shit was tough.  Real tough.  They're only little and even though they were little troopers, I could see it was breaking their heart to see me so ill.   I can't put my family through that again. 

 

Thanks everyone for your messages, I will let you know ,my desicion!  xxxx

Hi Ladies,  

Thank you for all your messages.   I am encouraged by everyones stories.  I saw my onc today, and she was very helpful,  Ihelping me realise that no matter what the decision, it's the right one for me.   I am not so much concerened with dying from breast cancer, or survival rates.  For me it's the feeling of not wanting to do chemo again.  I don't want to see my kids see me go though that again.  That shit was tough.  Real tough.  They're only little and even though they were little troopers, I could see it was breaking their heart to see me so ill.   I can't put my family through that again. 

 

Thanks everyone for your messages, I will let you know ,my desicion!  xxxx

Hi Peta,

Yes I had the lumpectomy 1st off & had the genetic testing done with the same answer as you inconclusive....I also had the same terrifying thought day in day out even though they got clear margins & there was no spead to the nodes..

I decided before I went for radiation treatment to under go a double prophelactic bi-lateral mastectomy with diep-flap reconstruction which took 9 & a half hours but I think for my peace of mind it was definetly well worth it.  I am very happy with my new boobs & nipples tatooed & all....I still get anxious every 6 months when I go in for my check ups but 2 and a half years down the track I'm still going well & I try very hard  not to even think about the TNBC at all but every now & again it will pop back in to my head thinking No I'm not as healthy as I once was because I am living with cancer.........but when it's all said & done I am  really quite healthy apart from that.  :-)  Now all I have to contend with is my mood swings from the start of early menapause due to chemo!  If any one has any tips on mood swings due to the same thing I'd love to hear you opinion.

Love & Light,

Susan <3 xxx

Hi Peta,

Yes I had the lumpectomy 1st off & had the genetic testing done with the same answer as you inconclusive....I also had the same terrifying thought day in day out even though they got clear margins & there was no spead to the nodes..

I decided before I went for radiation treatment to under go a double prophelactic bi-lateral mastectomy with diep-flap reconstruction which took 9 & a half hours but I think for my peace of mind it was definetly well worth it.  I am very happy with my new boobs & nipples tatooed & all....I still get anxious every 6 months when I go in for my check ups but 2 and a half years down the track I'm still going well & I try very hard  not to even think about the TNBC at all but every now & again it will pop back in to my head thinking No I'm not as healthy as I once was because I am living with cancer.........but when it's all said & done I am  really quite healthy apart from that.  :-)  Now all I have to contend with is my mood swings from the start of early menapause due to chemo!  If any one has any tips on mood swings due to the same thing I'd love to hear you opinion.

Love & Light,

Susan <3 xxx

Yup. Alcohol and breast cancer. I may joke about the odd hangover but I've had 3 in 6 years. A bottle of wine can last months now -- not days. That evening wind down beer or glass of wine has a measurable impact on YOUR cancer stats.

Hi Peta,

My story is pretty much the same as yours (I think by memory you actually messaged me a while ago). Just after I finished my radiation I found out I'm BRCA1 positive. So yes, like you I wish I had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction when I first found out but my breast surgeon said it wasn't necessary and performed a lumpectomy. It is constantly on my mind about reacurrance because of the TNBC. I had a hysterectomy about 6 weeks ago and I will have a mastectomy with recon. next year around the Feb/March mark. ( wanted around January but the PS said he's booked until Feb/Mar.)

I'm off to see another plastic surgeon tomorrow (my second PS) but I think my chances of getting in earlier is fading. That's what scares me -the waiting!! This whole process is just scary.

I too want to hear from TNBC ladies who have made it past the 5 year mark.

Peta xx

Hi Peta,

My story is pretty much the same as yours (I think by memory you actually messaged me a while ago). Just after I finished my radiation I found out I'm BRCA1 positive. So yes, like you I wish I had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction when I first found out but my breast surgeon said it wasn't necessary and performed a lumpectomy. It is constantly on my mind about reacurrance because of the TNBC. I had a hysterectomy about 6 weeks ago and I will have a mastectomy with recon. next year around the Feb/March mark. ( wanted around January but the PS said he's booked until Feb/Mar.)

I'm off to see another plastic surgeon tomorrow (my second PS) but I think my chances of getting in earlier is fading. That's what scares me -the waiting!! This whole process is just scary.

I too want to hear from TNBC ladies who have made it past the 5 year mark.

Peta xx