Scared of recurrence!!

Hi Peta, I am 34 years old and a mum for 2 gorgeous boys 4 and 7 . Same as u i was diagnosed in march i picked to do chemo before surgery and guess what after 4 FEC and 4 taxol i had lumpectomy only to find out that chemo didnt work at all and the lump i had grew from 3 cm to 7cm and 3 positives nodes. Then i had mastectomy and now i am doing radiation i need 25 treatments... Am i scared??? Of course yes.. Especially that mu doctor gave me no hope at all... At the beginning i was devastated i used to cry all the time and i beleive no kid should be raised without his parents...But u know what i told myself i am gonna enjoy my kids im not gonna let cancer change who i am., no one has an expiry date on his back and everything happen for a reason... I booked a holiday to disneyland next august when im feeling down i think i might not be around to go and enjoy it but when my kids talk about it i feel the excitment in their voice and i tell myself i have to be here for them... They are my inspiration!!! Be positive, positive people live longer... Enjoy your life do what makes u happy and dont worry because worrying too much is not gonna change the outcome....