Poor kid - I know you must want to give her as much stability as possible but it's so hard when you can barely drag yourself around. My guess is that as long as she gets a big fuss made and the day is special with her favourites, you'll get by. And as we say in our house: everyone cries on their birthday (or Christmas). Maybe some signs up when she wakes up - ? is 10! Or a special present under her pillow? I know my girls both appreciated a little something that said they were starting to grow up (necklace or similar).