Forum Discussion
Bettyboo
7 years agoMember
What do I do now?
Hi everyone, I havent posted for a while as I was going through radiation, after my surgery, which is now completed and I did okay, just treating the leftover burns and itchiness which is apparently new skin growing through. Im pretty lucky all considering, but will have to report to an oncologist and surgeon, every three months. Breastscreen doesnt want to see me back there, so I guess mammograms will be arranged for me via the oncologist/surgeon.
Im seeking some advice for life in general, and wondering whether I am suffering from depression. In the last year, prior to my diagnosis, I retired from working life, moved to an area a long way from friends, but close to my only grandson, my daughter's son. They then decided to move to Queensland, and leaving in a couple of weeks. Another daughter lives in Queenscliff, a distance away. Im a bit too far away for friends to want to visit, though some do, now it is expected I will visit them, and I want to, but Im frozen, so things are dropping away. We are all getting older. Im feeling somewhat trapped here, depressed and lonely, though not in a life-threatening way. I dont know what to do next. Ive asked for advice to see if I can find something to move back closer to friends, and familiar surroundings, but things change, and there is expenses attached. Ive looked at a couple of houses, but too much work - my unit is new, and the neighbours arent very social, everyone has their own lives, and a couple are not nice at all. Happens anywhere, guess my tolerance is low because I was used to being in my own home. I have an elderly border collie and a cat - they are my family.
My medical practitioners are a distance from me, back in familiar territory where I used to live. Im getting older, 67, and Im feeling very isolated. The local retirement village seems to be calling out to me - it is kind of affordable down here, and they arrange lots of stuff, and a couple of ladies from the arthritis group live there, and they say its excellent. I know I have to make my own decisions but lots of people are telling me not to go to a retirement village as I will hate it. Im listening to everyone, but not able to decipher anything. I did make a phone call and someone will call me tomorrow, so maybe I can have a look through.
I thought I had a plan for my retirement, and it seemed to work until now, or did it? Did the breast cancer throw this into disarray? I pretty much coped with it all on my own. Is it because my daughter is leaving the state? She is a tough cookie anyway and places too much demand on me, very critical of all I do, so in a way there is some relief attached to this departure. I have to look after their dog until he gets picked up after they leave, and I think that will bring me undone as I love him to bits, and he seems to like me. I put on a good front, but I feel very lost right now.
I thought I would post my message here as many of you have such extensive life experiences that I could learn from. Any advice you might have would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
Silka
Im seeking some advice for life in general, and wondering whether I am suffering from depression. In the last year, prior to my diagnosis, I retired from working life, moved to an area a long way from friends, but close to my only grandson, my daughter's son. They then decided to move to Queensland, and leaving in a couple of weeks. Another daughter lives in Queenscliff, a distance away. Im a bit too far away for friends to want to visit, though some do, now it is expected I will visit them, and I want to, but Im frozen, so things are dropping away. We are all getting older. Im feeling somewhat trapped here, depressed and lonely, though not in a life-threatening way. I dont know what to do next. Ive asked for advice to see if I can find something to move back closer to friends, and familiar surroundings, but things change, and there is expenses attached. Ive looked at a couple of houses, but too much work - my unit is new, and the neighbours arent very social, everyone has their own lives, and a couple are not nice at all. Happens anywhere, guess my tolerance is low because I was used to being in my own home. I have an elderly border collie and a cat - they are my family.
My medical practitioners are a distance from me, back in familiar territory where I used to live. Im getting older, 67, and Im feeling very isolated. The local retirement village seems to be calling out to me - it is kind of affordable down here, and they arrange lots of stuff, and a couple of ladies from the arthritis group live there, and they say its excellent. I know I have to make my own decisions but lots of people are telling me not to go to a retirement village as I will hate it. Im listening to everyone, but not able to decipher anything. I did make a phone call and someone will call me tomorrow, so maybe I can have a look through.
I thought I had a plan for my retirement, and it seemed to work until now, or did it? Did the breast cancer throw this into disarray? I pretty much coped with it all on my own. Is it because my daughter is leaving the state? She is a tough cookie anyway and places too much demand on me, very critical of all I do, so in a way there is some relief attached to this departure. I have to look after their dog until he gets picked up after they leave, and I think that will bring me undone as I love him to bits, and he seems to like me. I put on a good front, but I feel very lost right now.
I thought I would post my message here as many of you have such extensive life experiences that I could learn from. Any advice you might have would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
Silka
28 Replies
- kitkatbMemberThat's great @Bettyboo so glad you made the right decision for you. xx
- BettybooMemberThank you all, you have been fantastic and supportive, it feels right, now i just have to sell my unit in the current market slump! ;) ;
- arpieMemberEnjoy your new home @Bettyboo - sounds like you are really happy with the village, which is good. Immerse yourself in the activities there & become a part of the community ..... we look forward to seeing pics of your new home when you move in!
- SisterMemberI am so pleased for you @Bettyboo It sounds like the village is a very welcoming one and that your new home will be lovely. Please post pics when you move (if you want to post them, of course). I have to say that I was very worried about my best friend moving into a retirement village 18 months ago but she is having a blast - best thing she could have done.
- kmakmMemberThank you so much for letting us know @Bettyboo. That is such heartening news, and lovely to hear you more upbeat. I hope you have a lovely Christmas. K xox
- primekMemberWonderful it's worked out so well.
- tigerbethMemberAll the best to you @bettyboo glad you have made a decision ,here's to your next venture ,may you enjoy all the new adventures .xxx
- AfraserMemberVery best wishes for the future, you sound happy and that's what counts!
- BettybooMemberI thought I would let you know that I now have a plan, after taking all your messages into account. I have signed to go into a retirement village here in Pakenham, and my unit is on the market. I was called back to the retirement village as a unit became suddenly available and they though it would suit me, my dog and my cat, and they were right, a cute little house with lots of light, surrounded by flowers in pretty garden surrounds which I will be happy to work in. Since speaking to you last I have been invited to a number of occasions and also lunches at the retirement village. I believe I have made the right decision though the plan wasnt to stay in Pakenham, but it no longer matters where I am.
Thank you everyone for your suggestions, many of which I will follow up on on my retirement journey. x - SarnicadMember@Bettyboo sometimes primary schools are looking for volunteers to help with reading as well. Again a working with children’s check would be required but it can be very rewarding especially as you see a child progress