Trying not to feel resentful

Ha, you don't have to get cancer to realise some of the people you know are shallow and self centred, but it sure brings them all into focus at once.

Your disease hasn't changed who you are, and it hasn't changed them either. You've got a fair idea what is coming next, its up to you to decide what you are going to do.

The upside of cancer, particularly when people have no idea what is actually happening, is that you can infer all sorts of difficulties which make you unavailable when you don't want to do something.
Yeah, that's naughty, but hey, you don't have to actually lie:) xxx

I think that some people see their own mortality looming when a friend is diagnosed with cancer - and they just don't know what to say - so say nothing.    Even family members can be a bit crass now & then ..... 

Go with your gut feeling -  say 'no' if you don't want to babysit or anything else .... do what is right for YOU!!   xx

Thanks for you comments and advice,you right they probably don’t give it a second thought and wouldn’t even think they have done anything wrong,so why keep upsetting myself,it does sort people out for you,I know that sounds terrible ,and since then have made some lovely new friends.it has also made me very aware of how I will treat someone myself who needs support in the future.

I too was surprised and very hurt when some close friends provided little support and amazed at the kindness of others when I had not expected it.  I cherish those kind people.  As you say, while the truth hurts a great deal, ultimately it  is worth knowing.  Several years down the track I have forgiven them somewhat, realizing they had their own problems, have limitations as people like we all do, and also didn’t care as much for me as I thought they did.  Turns out many people are so fascinated with their own lives they don’t pay much attention to anyone else’s.  They can also be pretty demanding about wanting you to focus on their lives.  Those that do care about others are rarer and wonderful.   There are other people out there who can become your new friends.

It’s worth saying to others who want you to do lots for them and you don’t want to, I am sorry I would love to help but since my cancer treatment I am just not up to it, I get so tired some days.  There is no answer to that.   

I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. Ultimately life is short, I let it go. It’s disappointing when people let you down, but you can’t control them or their responses. Resenting their treatment of you sounds like it’s dragging you down. I’m not sure I’d be rushing to babysit. :) 

@Milly21 I am probably not the best person to respond to this as I am still undergoing treatment. I am sure others will hop on here with great advice. I do not have many people avoiding me but I am tired of the "how are you" questions that don't allow me to reply. I am starting to dislike a lot of people and avoid them when I can. My friends list has shrunk considerably. Just as well BC has changed me so much as I will want different friends anyway. Not nice I know, but honesty has always been important to me and still is. It is also okay to say no to people. Even before BC saying no was your choice so don't feel guilty. Go out and do something just for you. You deserve it!

You need to surround yourself with positive thoughts!  
Family are what they are!  Friends can be filtered out!  Unfortunately some decide it is all about them and you think hang on, who has Breast Cancer?  Human nature, it is so unpredictable and the ones you thought would step up disappoint and those you least expect show compassion.
Don't let it get you down, you certainly are entitled to feel resentment as long as it doesn't stay with you always, as it doesn't achieve anything!  Come on here and moan and groan, as we get it and we are all in this together!