cranky_granny strongly suggest you take a friend or family member to your next appointment - rehearse any questions you may have and write them down; have your 'assistant' take notes. Stress impairs our thinking and memory, ie, our brain is 'mushy' which is hard for others to understand. Keep in touch with others on this forum - its a very safe place to tell it how it is for you. There are no rights or wrongs just you finding your way through the maze of side effects, appointments and treatments and you will never be alone in those awful times of not knowing. I think you are a bit feisty which will carry you through this challenging (aka 'bloody awful') time. Keep in touch!