Forum Discussion
Stranger reactions and losing one's temper!
Had a new thing happen today.
I woman I'd met only once before two weeks ago, and only to say hello, asked me how I was going (Chemo 3, death warmed up). I answered 'not awesome' and she said, grinning from ear to ear, 'been there' and without pausing asked me if I had any lymph node involvement.
Something just snapped inside me. I am very open about this stuff and until now, have answered any questions put to me. But there was something about the gall of this grinning woman who doesn't know me from Adam, wanting to know something so diagnostically specific. So I said I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with someone I didn't know.
She rushed on and said she knew just how I felt, that she'd been there. My goat was up, (this was in my home) and as I herded her towards the door, I said 'are you raising your dead sister's children and caring for your father-in-law because his daughter died from a brain tumour?'
I am mortified! Suffering is NOT a competition! She caught me on a really bad day and I will apologise to her next time I see her in two weeks. Has anyone else made an absolute tit of themselves like this?! Please say yes...
I woman I'd met only once before two weeks ago, and only to say hello, asked me how I was going (Chemo 3, death warmed up). I answered 'not awesome' and she said, grinning from ear to ear, 'been there' and without pausing asked me if I had any lymph node involvement.
Something just snapped inside me. I am very open about this stuff and until now, have answered any questions put to me. But there was something about the gall of this grinning woman who doesn't know me from Adam, wanting to know something so diagnostically specific. So I said I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with someone I didn't know.
She rushed on and said she knew just how I felt, that she'd been there. My goat was up, (this was in my home) and as I herded her towards the door, I said 'are you raising your dead sister's children and caring for your father-in-law because his daughter died from a brain tumour?'
I am mortified! Suffering is NOT a competition! She caught me on a really bad day and I will apologise to her next time I see her in two weeks. Has anyone else made an absolute tit of themselves like this?! Please say yes...
32 Replies
- @JasiB1 I've got one of those as well. We are indeed very lucky.
- Hi @Sister, yes he has my back and has been totally supportive through this journey. I'm very lucky.
- @JasiB1 How has your husband coped with it? Does he understand where it's coming from?
- @JasiB1 Sounds like a plan!
- Thanks everyone what a great bunch you are. Not sure how my little problem will resolve itself, time will tell I guess. I might go and get some counselling on how to best deal with situation from here. Putting my husbands family offside was probably not one of my finest moments.
- Thanks @Joannie
- @Joannie Thank you for words about being here to listen. Sometimes I feel like such a whinger but geeze you feel better when you offload to people who truly understand.
I still feel so early in my BC experience, it's just on three months, and underqualified to help others. I hope I can give back when I've got a bit more under my belt so to speak. - I agree @Joannie, we do have to put ourselves first more at this time. So often it's such a struggle to get through each day, there's little energy left to preserve the social niceties.
I agree with you about the regular contact. I have people I've never met but have followed for years on Instagram check in with me regularly via DM and it's crazy how much it brightens my day.
I've had some friends struggle with my diagnosis, but most have rallied. One dear old friend just doesn't have the empathy to get it though. I stopped sharing the emotional details with her when she asked why I didn't compartmentalise and ignore it.
I hope your colleague recovered from her insensitivity...
