Recovery Emotions

I'm with you @sister as far as being pissed off is concerned.

I think most humans have an intrinsic longing for safety; those that don't care can cut a vicious swath through otherwise  moderate communities. I try to tamp down my anger at my access to safe haven being denied by rationalizing that my disease is nothing personal and that I'm living in (probably) the best place in the world if I have to endure it and want to survive it. That little mantra keeps me tracking along until some incident/episode/event derails me, then I will literally bite the hand offering me food.

That response is driven by my temperament. Nature? Nurture? I consider that to be irrelevant; the issue is my factory settings may as well have been installed at date of manufacture. I can try to moderate them, but I'm not always successful. Sounds like an argument put forward by any number of criminals trying to escape justice, hey?

My point is rational people have points past which we can not go without overturning our hopes and aspirations, modest or extravagant as those may be. The trigger may be war, disease, accidents, suicides... the list of potential physical and psychological traumas is pretty much endless. The effect is someone who no longer feels safe has to learn to deal with their new reality.

While I'm on it, the misuse of the word 'safe' is really starting to get me aerated. It's a concept that varies from person to person but I'm over 'unsafe' being used in exchange for the word 'unpleasant.' They are two entirely different things. Sometimes to avoid things that are unsafe (dying for example) we have to do things that are unpleasant--such as lopping our tits off, getting poisoned, irradiated and destroying our lifestyles. Not at all in the same category as not liking the fact your university invites a speaker you disagree with. Learning to deal with the unpleasant is character building. Or so I keep telling myself.