@"Beryl C." That's exactly it. I didn't find this website until I was having chemotherapy, I couldn't bear to read the My Journey kit, I'd just watched my sister die from BC the year before. I just knew having it myself was going to change me, change everything. I was furious and then furious and upset. My BS was the first person who actually said it to me, when he was trying to console me after my re-excision. I was bawling about how I didn't want to change. He said what he could to comfort me but then said that yes, it would change me. He confirmed my fears and we were both right.