Living in fear !

Thank you @ddon . Yes only me and the children- they are all grown up but I don’t want them to have to worry .. that’s my job .. I hope you also find the help and support via a councillor.. 😊
I think we can only push thoughts and feelings down for so long and then we get a champagne cork effect of emotions 😊😂

@ddon, you have 'nailed' one of the reasons why many do not seek a therapist or counselor in time of emotional/mental stress - 'to be heard by someone whose heart won't break for us'. Yes! During those first few 'my head is spinning' weeks of diagnosis I found myself consoling a close friend as she sobbed on my shoulder. Since then I have had no hesitation in phoning a counselor - I always feel more 'put together' and calm.

The very difficult thing with dealing with your fears I think is not being able to really share with the people you love and who want to support you because you don’t want them to know. I am in a near constant state of worry and turmoil some days and most nights but I don’t want my husband or siblings or parents to know because it would worry them so much. Having a councillor who doesn’t know and love us would be a big help I think - to pour it all out to and put those fears into words and be heard by someone whose heart won’t break for us. I haven’t found one yet but I know I need to start looking. I hope you find some help too xx

Yes it’s certainly all a learning curve @Afraser 😊

A little unravel is to be expected, I think we sometimes assume we have to do everything solo. We wouldn’t avoid going to a doctor for a physical pain in the belief that we had to sort it out for ourself. Emotional pains are really much the same. Best wishes. 

@Afraser thank you I feel a lot better already with the lovely responses I have received .. it’s good to be able to ask and someone knows where your coming from 😊 I think I barrelled through mine thinking I can do this solo but now it’s unravelling a little .. lol  
take care too x 

Counselling can help a great deal. It’s very early days yet so see how you go, but cancer can dredge up all sorts of issues we haven’t really grasped. Including the fact that, even with an early diagnosis and a great prognosis, we’ve just had a brush with something unexpected that could kill. Most of us remain significantly untrained in things that matter (relationships, parenting, death) and it’s quite amazing that we handle many of them pretty well. But talking through deep seated issues with a trained ‘outsider’, allows you to raise things you may never do with a family member or even a friend. As @Zoffiel says, you may have to shop around a bit to get the right person for you, but if the blues persist, it’s a good idea. Best wishes. 

I'm fine for 99% of the time, thanks @Maudelicious  - but come Oct when I have my MG & US - I know that I will also be 'jumpy' again!!

Deep Breaths .... you'll be right!   ;) 

Thank you @arpie. Yes it’s been interesting how friends have sort of forgotten now that “I’m fine!” And all back to normal ! I told a girlfriend the other day I was sad a lot lately (so not like me ) she said I needed to get out more 😂😂 did make me smile. 

Feel free to vent or put up anything that you like here, @Maudelicious - cos we all 'get it', cos we've all been thru it. 

Sadly, many friends/family think that once you are over your 'active treatment' - that you are just FINE!  I don't believe that it is malicious - they just don't know any better! :(   They don't realise that the anniversaries and yearly scans/mammograms bring it all back. I've had 2 callbacks since my surgery in Jan 2018 ..... and both times, I was almost soiling my pants with worry - but the family (siblings) didn't have a clue how to react! :(