It's perfectly normal and absolutely exasperating @Maudelicious. These things weigh on our minds, regardless of any reassurances that everything will be just peachy from now on.
If you find you are really struggling to the point you feel like you are falling -- rather than stumbling -- get thee to an appropriate mental health professional. Your GP can refer you and give you 5 subsided visits, which don't all have to be for the one practice. It may take 4 test drives to find someone who seems more stable than you are, but even that can be helpful. Mxx