It's Not Me

Hi San-dee. I am sorry you find yourself here. It was such a shock to me when I was first diagnosed especially since I have no family history of any type of cancer which in my world happened to other people not me. I found it really hard at the beginning when I didn't know whether I would need chemo or radiation - the unknown was the worst. But after I got on my treatment path my emotions seem to settle down. I had breast conserving surgery, clear lymphs, chemo, am just starting radiation and have a year of targeted therapy. I have learnt to take it one day at a time which is just as well as I have had a lot of annoying little setbacks. I have good and bad days. Just take a deep breath and try and take things as they come. And don't forget to come on here if you have any questions. Wishing you all the best. 

P.S. I HATE it when people tell me to think positive. They only say this because they don't know what else to say.  Before cancer I was a really positive person, but some days I think I have earned the right to be a little down, a little scared, a little angry, frustrated, cheesed off etc instead of Miss Sunshine all the time. 

Nadine

I'm in the same boat. I'm calling it my "lucky C". Early, hormone receptive by 80%, clear lymphs. Kept half of my breast and even have the freedom right now to opt-out of chemotherapy without my team having a problem with it.

But cancer is still cancer.

You get no guarantees. It can be "beaten" and come straight back, you can be done with it forever but live constantly worrying that will show up again. Fact is, it might not be "as bad" as other people's cancer, but your life is changed forever in a way that not everyone's is.

It's all about perspective. Dude has an arm amputated and smiles through then his best mate crashes their cheap third hand car and falls into a depression. It's not about what actually happens, it's the impact on the individual.

Emotions don't tend to negotiate with logic. And "it could be worse" according to the psychology community does more harm than good when things for the individual actually can get worse. It puts more emphasis on the how it might get worse stress. Cut it out. Give it the value it deserves. You're "self-absorbed about the whole thing" because it's actually happening to you and there is no reason to feel bad about that. You are entitled to feel. 

Morning your writing the right thing how you are feeling. I felt the same way thinking this happens to someone else. You are at the start of something that is difficult to control. I remember a friend of mine that kept telling me it was nothing and I would be ok and telling me horror stories. When my treatment plan changed and I needed chemo and mastectomy she didn't know what to say any more and pulled back.

Your cancer is not trivial it is happening to you and very real and the emotions are hard to control sometimes. Take it one day at a time and I hope your breast care nurse calls. Take care glad you have found the site