Hello, I hope everyone is travelling well. It's been 2 weeks since I started taking Tamoxifen , seems to be ok. I'm still having counselling which is good but today I'm emotional and upset. This just overwhelms me and I try to motivate myself from wanting to just sit and stare out the window. It sucks.i have so much to be grateful for and I am but it doesn't change the way I feel.i don't think it's a side effect of the medication.i think I just need a hug and a shoulder xxxxi do hope everyone of you are going well.

Hi Chanel, sorry that you are having a difficult day. You summed it up in your post - there doesn't have to be a reason for feeling emotional and you certainly don't need to excuse it! It doesn't mean that you aren't grateful for what you have .... it just means you are an amazing, strong woman who has been through a hell of a lot and sometimes need to give in to your feelings. I think from time to time we just need to stop and be. We need to re-charge and take some deep breaths. Who cares if we do that by staring out the window, watching TV, sleeping, sitting in the sun. What matters is that we listen to what our body and soul needs at that time. Sending you a huge hug Chanel. Hope the sun shines brighter tomorrow. Love Jane xx

Hi Chanel, we've all been there -those days when it's just not worth the battle and we fall in a heap. What we've been through is emotionally traumatic, as well as the trauma to our bodies and the disruption to life as we knew it. It's ok to just sit there, and feel the pain and loss and sadness of it all. Let it all wash out with your tears. Probably a lot more healthy than putting on that brave face we have all practiced so well. So 2 weeks into Tamoxifen means you must have only recently finished "active" treatment? This isn't as good as it gets, it's get better every day, the further you progress after treatment. Maybe we should tell ourselves instead the worst is behind me, the best is yet to come. You're not alone, Tracey xXx

Hi Chanel just sending you hugs and love. Some days are better than others. Some days you have to fight through the bad days to earn the best bays of your life. Hope tomorrow is a better day Wendy h 67

Thankyou girls hugs back at you xxxxx

I had such sadness through treatment and even after. So tired of the fear. Physically exhausted. Not crying quite so much like at the beginning but my zest for life had left me. Then slowly it just changed. I cannot pinpoint why or when...but it changed. I started to believe instead of dying from this disease that I would live. Joy and energy has returned. It's a long and grueling road...but it will happen. Take all the time you need to heal. Kath x

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Chanel
Member
9 years ago
Hi Tracy I so identify with how you're feeling ! I am experiencing the same feelings , no time for BS and don't watch the news. I don't have my head in the sand just over the media and their promotion of negativity and sports updates.
Its a hell of a shock to be told you have cancer . I've been vegetarian for over 30 years gave up drinking 5years ago due to heart arrhythmia and don't smoke.
Where does cancer come from ? I wish we knew the answer. I don't want to hear about triviality and just want to live my life doing what I love. We can't change the world by buying into the tragedy of it all, we can only be for peace love and light and send it out there. I'm sending it to you xxx
ScorpionQueen
Member
9 years ago
I have been on Tamoxifen for about 8 weeks now.....I haven't really noticed any change in my mood......I already have a short fuse! But I do think it is from the whole ordeal of breast cancer and it's treatments.....I now find myself saying exactly what I think and feel, with no remorse!....While I find I am patient with most things....the simplest of things will cause me to get flustered....and then I have a hot flash! grrr.....I find myself fed up with the trivial things in life and on the news etc.....It's like get a grip people! ......Our bodies and minds have been through Hell and back, but we still expect too much of ourselves.....to be 'normal'....to behave the way society, friends and family one day at a time....if it's a bad day, it's a bad day... I do believe in time, as we get further away from this experience, it will get better....meanwhile we have to ride the wave and our loved ones will have to dive for cover! LOL!......I hope you heal well from your fall.....I often think while I'm driving, what if the airbags go off and hit me in the chest? I'm screwed! Bye bye expanders! Love and llight - Tracy
Chanel
Member
9 years ago
Yes and I'm doing what I can right now . Counselling helps but there's a lot of others issues in my life that are adding to my anxiety. Hope they will be resolved soon and I can get back to me x
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
I think the more we understand how normal our feelings are and reactions right now, the better we are at acknowledging them and letting them be without judgment and doing anything with it. Just accepting ourselves in every moment and one step in front of the other. xo
Karenhappyquilt
Member
9 years ago
Thanks Melinda, the bucket being full explanation makes good sense to me. Karen
Chanel
Member
9 years ago
You're right about the bucket already full, doesn't take much for me to get reactive.
.im just dealing with my feelings as best I can . It's been a very traumatic year .
Chanel
Member
9 years ago
Ne , my last post didn't work . Thank goodness we can communicate here and give and receive support.
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Karen,

During my rehab stint I did, our session with the Psychologist talked about that. I actually don't think its the Tamoxifen, but rather the after affects of what you have been through. I was incredibly aggressive through Chemo, my kids called me Chemoroo LOL. Ive settled alot since then, but I find Im less tolerant than I ever was before. The Psych explained its because of our journeys and the depth of it, our bucket is always full and it doesnt take much to tip it over. All completely normal, and I believe it just takes a long time to even out. I too still have mood swings of anger and tears, all sorts of things, its awful. Big hugs ladies, we are actually doing OK! I think better than we allow ourselves to believe considering what we've been through.

Melinda xo
Karenhappyquilt
Member
9 years ago
I thought I would come out of chemo and radiation calm, philosophical and patient, a better and wiser woman. Apparently not, I have been on Tamoxifen for a couple of months and seem to have developed a bit of a temper. Not as tolerant of my husband who looked after me so well as I would like to be. Also very emotional at times, I cried watching the second presidential debate at the thought of seeing a woman president ( happy tears). I too have much to be grateful for. But some days I get angry. It just seems to be the way it is. Maybe in time the wisdom and patience will come. I am not particularly happy either, maybe this will come too in time. And please some energy would be nice too! Good luck, I expect what we are going through is normal. Karen
InkPetal
Member
9 years ago
How are you feeling today?