Forum Discussion
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel??
To me a journey is getting from A to B at a leisurely manner....stopping off for a bit of sight seeing and long lunches.....what I have been through since 28th March has been a fast track nightmare heading for the chasm that has lost the bridge!! Oh I know that sounds melodramatic but I honestly don't know where last 4 months have gone. Started with Breast scan bus and the lovely technician explaining that if there is any problems I will called up for further investigation ( this is while she is holding my hand and patting with the other one - I smiled and said thanks and was thinking uh oh..oh well!! :) ) Further investigations the next week, 100k away, Bilateral lumpectomy followed, then oops DCIS hidden lets go mastectomy on one side...other was fine...just scar tissue from Lumpectomy 25 years ago! daughter and I decided to call breast that was leaving the building "Doris"..texted son post-op and said...Doris has left the building ..he came back...who is Doris?? Oops forgot to tell him her name...lol Last drain out a week following discharge...damn..infection and fluid build up...Iv Antibiotics and who needs needles to draw fluid out...its decided to gush out by itself!! Arm exercises not good enough...get thee to the Physio!! Oh the pain!! I'm sure the Physio degree includes a Unit of Fiendishness 101. :) So next step is Chemo .....and its starts today. I've arrived at the chasm but I'm seeing the bridge over it!! I am surprisingly calm (at the moment) I am not prepared to leave this world without a damn big fight! So lets see where I am after 6 treatments over 3 months! I haven't been alone with support from sisters , mother (shes 88 god love her!) friends and of course husband and my kids. - Even grandkids (4 - 10) know I have a "sore arm" and I get so many more hugs and kisses :) So my purpose in writing all this is I guess I needed to put it out into the universe that I have had pain, tears, fears and felt alone. I think this is my letter to me saying...get going girlfriend the next step has arrived and its time to take it...the bridge is there....trust!!
79 Replies
- @Scorpio101 - I honestly hope you'll be pleasantly surprised with your Rads treatment ..... I found it fairly easy - but that obviously depends on your surgery & the areas being treated (altho I DID have a couple of hiccups not related to the Radiation Treatment that affected me during it, where I was reduced to a bawling wreck! :( ) Just keep those lotions & potions up to it 2-3 times a day - and be prepared for some 'separation anxiety' on your last day!
Oh dear ..... yep - sounds like your sister definitely deserves a BIG slap!! My sister & I have a big Love/Hate relationship - we love to hate each other (when we are together) yet we are FINE when we are in different states or better still, different countries (she is currently in the UK!!) LOL She visited us between my surgery & rads - & told everyone (including family) I was 'fine'!! I must be a WONDERFUL actress!! ;)
All the best ..... I hope it is a breeze for you! xx - @Scorpio101 my mother in law was told, and agreed not to tell my brother and sister in law about my diagnosis as my husband and I haven’t spoken to them in about 7 years. Found out 5 months ago that she told them pretty much straight away and doesn’t think she did anything wrong. Consequently I haven’t spoken to her since. Hubby is ok with that - he can’t beleive what she did.
Hope radiotherapy goes ok xoxo - Thanks again ladies. I read the suggested page Sister...I related and laughed which is what I needed. I'm sure people on the whole mean well but it is so frustrating...I would pull my hair out and scream if I had any!! :)
I have two sisters...one phones on a regular basis which is nice but can be overwhelming sometimes and the other says "so is it still all about you? I have this problem, that problem and ok got to run...busy busy" lol
Its all good. I'm on the home run. Feeling good after a good nights sleep.
Hope is going well with you all...Hugs and luvs and thanks again for support and making me smile xxx - @Scorpio101 My sister had me bawling my eyes out in public ten days ago she upset me so much... Family is so difficult. She'll always be there for me and me for her, but I'm raw when it comes to her barbs. Life's rich tapestry eh?
- Hello @Scorpio101 all the best for your first treatment tomorrow.
- Check out "Did you really say that"
- Thanks Zoffiel for your encouragement. I love your words about siblings, they ring so true! I still feel if I was able to slap her into next month I would feel better... :D
K xx Some people are just slappable. Laughing is probably the best option. I'm guessing she has been the same for ever and we are supposed to grow up and stop beating on our siblings--which would be so much easier if they would grow up too.
Anything new is unsettling when you've been on the cancer train; thankfully by the time any unpleasantness pops up with rads, you are just about done. Mxx
- Well me...here I am. Chemo side effects finally have left the arena except for what I have been told is "normal" - the chemo working on the skin cancers that I didn't know I had on the back of my hands....don't mind in the least except it all looks horrid...:) I managed to get to Brisbane to see son, daughter-in-law and grandkids. It was great. Hadn't been to Bris since just after Xmas last year , just before I decided to take notice of my GP and have a scan, and everything went pear shaped. OMG I drank so much, something I haven't done in 12 months!! That was great too!! :)
Tomorrow is Day 1 of Radiotherapy. I'm a little apprehensive, I have to admit, even though a cast of thousands (you know those that "know" because they had a friend of a friend or a relative or they read somewhere or they are the practitioner who will be doing the administration) ....that I will be fine and it wont be as bad as chemo! Oh I'm sure it wont be as bad but it doesn't stop me feeling apprehensive damn it!!
I intensely dislike my sister at the moment...I told family to please respect my wishes not the tell the world about my life's hiccup. Sister told daughter of family who used to live next door as a kid (haven't seen her for 50 years), she in turn told her brother and it came back through Facebook that I was terminal and didn't have long for this world. I don't know whether to laugh or just have a cry or slap the stupid gossiping Bitch into next month!!! (I feel better for getting that out!!) :#
Big girl pants on, smile on my face, lots of MooGoo ready to go, I think I'm ready!! ;)
Hope all is well in your world...hugs and luv all round xx - Well done YOU! (LOVE the hair, BTW!) Your Grandkids have taste! ;) Congrats on finishing your chemo
All the best for your ongoing treatment xxx
