I could only get through half of it too. I’m not sure there’s right or wrong. If I had it my way, I never would’ve chosen to get bc. But I did, and it’s pointless dwelling on it. I might never know why, so I’d rather make the most of now and enjoy myself in ways I didn’t before. That means self care and treatment, and spending money on nurturing myself without feeling guilty. These changes didn’t happen overnight after diagnosis. It’s taking time, but I’m doing better than before.
And of course there’ll be people trying to cash in from the whole situation. It’s up to us if we wish to participate by donating, doing fundraisers, buying pink ribbons etc. If I got a bc T-shirt for example, it wouldn’t make me think I’m part of a special group. It would remind me I’m not alone on this shitty roller coaster ride. It also wouldn’t mean I feel all fine and dandy. Just trying my best to not go down the path of depression, which is not a good place to be in. So if it’s a pink T-shirt, then let it be. Or if I choose to use the word ‘thriver’ instead of ‘survivor’, since I’m an English teacher and words to me are very important, so survivor implies I’m barely making it, whereas thriver suggests I’m doing fantastically. Fake it til you make it. Works for me. Might not for others. But if I need to cry I cry, rage when I’m angry, laugh when I’m happy.
Once again, whatever helps us get through as unscathed as possible.
