Here I go again

Well here I go. New here even though I joined in February 2014 when I was first diagnosed with BC. I wanted to hide away & not be associated with or communicate with all you lovely people as I knew nothing about BC so thought it would just go away & all would turn out ok! How very silly of me. I felt like a fraud if I went to comment as I only had two tiny lumps. So after I had a lumpectomy (WLE) & all my lymph nodes removed I renigued on radiation & hormone treatment. I decided as they were saying tiny I believed they were (the Drs) being redical. So I went along my way merrily just going to PA hospital whenever they requested me for U/S, Mamo etc. This went on for four years! I had made the right decision! Bam one night I felt a lump, VERY palpable this time high on my chest wall. Long story -short , 13mm Grade 3 invasive mucinous carcinoma ER strongly positive PR weakly positive, HER2 SISH positive close margin 0.1 mm from inferior. Advised it was a very aggressive tumor. My first reaction was do same as last time ignor it. But alas after 2 days or discussion with my two daughters decided I needed to take this serious this time. To say I am mortified is an understatement as I see from comments on this site it is a common reaction. So I say without fear or favour I join this active group with a heavy but hopeful heart for some advice & comfort which I probably should have four years ago. On a happier note my youngest granddaughter is getting married on 5th May 9 days time so I asked to have re-excision done after this so am booked in for 14th may to begin this journey once again. - clear