Forum Discussion

Chevvy's avatar
Chevvy
Member
5 years ago

Hair loss tears

Haven't been here for a while.. works kept me busy.. and because of my profession people expect me to cope, to manage, to know how to deal with all this BC malarkey... I go to work each day smile with a brave face and manage the case files off 65 vulnerable people... see some terribly sad situations... and I sit here, knowing how bad some of those situations are and try to justify the tears that are falling, and have been falling on and off for 3 hours now, just cause my hair is falling out... I didn't shed this many tears on the day of diagnosis, I didn't shed this many tears through surgery or radiation and subsequent treatments,  yet I cry for the loss of hair and my identity that goes with it... and feel a sense of failure that as a professional who sees so much worse, that this can have such an impact. Crikey, its a bloomin hard journey some days. 
Thanku so much to this forum for being here to allow the vent. 
emotions
hair-loss
  • Zoffiel's avatar
    Zoffiel
    Member
    5 years ago
    I dealt with my second diagnosis, the chemo, more surgery, bald again and rads without a tear and then absolutely cracked it because I dropped a tray of oysters Kilpatrick. I'm talking about a full on tantrum and a crying jag that went on for nearly two days. We are only human. Mxx
  • Chevvy's avatar
    Chevvy
    Member
    5 years ago
    Thanku for your very kind words.. not thinking the tears are going to stop any time soon tonight... but the beauty is we get to wake up tomorrow and start what's hopefully a better, brighter, brand new day. 
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    5 years ago
    One of the few times I shed tears was when I accidentally frizzed the front of my wig by opening the oven! I had a spare, it wasn’t that big a deal but the tears weren’t just about the wig, they were about the whole ball and dice. The incident was just a trigger.

    However much our hair is part of our identity, it’s only a part - you don’t suddenly become an unknown element when you lose your hair. It’s just a very visible reminder of what you’d rather not be reminded about. But it’s temporary, things will change and who you really are will remain constant - may even shine! Best wishes. 
  • FLClover's avatar
    FLClover
    Member
    5 years ago
    Hello @Chevvy. 
    I’m not all that surprised that the tears are coming now. Just because you are a strong person, and deal with other terrible situations every day, doesn’t mean that you can’t feel sad for your own situation. You’ve been through so much, your life has changed so much, and now that’s becoming painfully obvious in the physical. Whatever you might’ve been suppressing, wants to be suppressed no more. It needs to come out. This isn’t about your clients or anyone else, it’s about you. And your right to feel sad and shitty for whatever reason you want. Even if it is about your hair falling out. Mind you, that’s no small thing. I think one of the first things we think about when diagnosed is chemo and our hair falling out, and it’s terrifying. Lost identity, a very different you in the mirror, realisation of what you’ve just gone through...I’d cry too. 
    We shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. We all have our own problems, and to us they are big, and we have the right to cry as much as we want, and feel weak, and afraid. And have someone comfort us. Sending you big hugs 🤗🤗🤗