Forum Discussion

kmakm's avatar
kmakm
Member
8 years ago

Friday Funnies

So in an effort to begin the weekend with a smile I thought I'd post a picture of something I saw in an antique shop recently.

Never mind about all the rest, when is THIS going to be listed on the PBS?!



And on the reverse:


alternative-therapies
emotions
hormone-therapy
tamoxifen

2,207 Replies

Show More
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    6 years ago
    I used to wonder about those people who paid a small fortune to buy those little bottles of EVIAN water ......... until I spelled it backwards!  ;)
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    6 years ago

    As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a fuck anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

    1.. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

    2.. My wild oats now are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

    3.. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

    4.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

    5.. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

    6.. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

    7.. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

    8.. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the lamppost.

    9.. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

    12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

    13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

    14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

    15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

    16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

    17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

    19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

    20. HAVE I POSTED THIS MESSAGE BEFORE..........???

  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    6 years ago
    Not sure if this one should be in Wise Words or the Friday Funnies!  Here goes!

    IMPORTANT POINTS TO PONDER OVER

    1. THE NICEST THING ABOUT THE FUTURE IS THAT IT ALWAYS STARTS TOMORROW.
    2. MONEY WILL BUY A FINE DOG, BUT ONLY KINDNESS WILL MAKE HIM WAG HIS TAIL.
    3. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, YOU PROBABLY DON’T HAVE ANY SENSE
    AT ALL.
    4. SEAT BELTS ARE NOT AS CONFINING AS WHEELCHAIRS.
    5. A GOOD TIMETO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT IS WHEN YOU’RE IN DEEP WATER.
    6. HOW COME IT TAKES SO LITTLE TIME FOR A CHILD WHO IS AFRAID OF THE DARK TO
    BECOME A TEENAGER WHO WANTS TO STAY OUT ALL NIGHT.??
    7. BUSINESS CONVENTIONS ARE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THEY DEMONSTRATE HOW
    MANY PEOPLE A COMPANY CAN OPERATE WITHOUT.
    8. WHY IS IT THAT AT CLASS REUNIONS YOU FEEL YOUNGER THAN EVERYONE ELSE
    LOOKS.??
    9. STROKE A CAT AND YOU WILL HAVE A PERMANENT JOB.
    10. NO ONE HAS MORE DRIVING AMBITION THAN THE TEENAGE BOY WHO WANTS TO
    BUY A CAR.
    11. THERE ARE NO NEW SINS; THE OLD ONES JUST GET MORE PUBLICITY.
    12. THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN GETTING A CALL FOR A WRONG NUMBER AT 4am
    – FOR EXAMPLE IT COULD BE THE RIGHT NUMBER.
    13. NO ONE EVER SAYS “IT’S ONLY A GAME.” WHEN THEIR TEAM IS WINNING.
    14. I’VE REACH THE AGE WHERE ‘HAPPY HOUR’ IS A NAP.
    15. BE CAREFUL ABOUT READING THE FINE PRINT- THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE GOING TO
    LIKE IT.
    16. THE TROUBLE WITH BUCKET SEATS IS THAT NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE SAME SIZE
    BUCKET.
    17. DO YOU REALIZE THAT, IN ABOUT 40 years, WE’LL HAVE THOUSANDS OF OLD
    LADIES RUNNING AROUND FULL OF TATTOOS.??
    18. AFTER 60, IF YOU DON’T WAKE UP ACHING IN EVERY JOINT, YOU’RE PROBABLY
    DEAD.
    19. LIFE ISN’T TIED WITH A BOW, BUT IT’S STILL A GIFT.
    20. POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN FOR THE SAME REASON.
    21. ALWAYS BE YOURSELF BECAUSE THE PEOPLE THAT MATTER DON’T MIND AND THE
    ONES THAT MIND DON’T MATTER.