Family are not being respectful of my wishes

FLClover said:

You’re very welcome @Cath62! 

We are def already in a very stressful situation with the bc, so the last thing we need is more unnecessary stress. Tbh, staying with them has helped me in terms of realising why I have certain traumas and difficulties in a lot of situations. It’s related to my upbringing, and these are things that I wasn’t conscious about, but that I can now see clearly. For eg, my 7 yr old daughter will start laughing about something.  After about a minute my mum tells her off for laughing too much 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. I ask her what’s the problem with her laughing, as I would rather her laugh than cry. She’s obviously having fun. My mum says too much laughter is not good and leads to bad stuff. After only a minute mind you. And I remembered her telling me the same thing all throughout my childhood, which is why I now have a debilitating fear of laughing and being happy in general. So I had a big yell at her and told her to leave my daughter alone, and that it’s my job to raise her now, that she already damaged her own kids. Of course she got offended. But seeing this has helped me to realise I need to sort this stuff out, as I have a strong belief that my cancer is related to it, because I think a lot of illnesses are psychological, as well as the healing. I have  arranged to see a psychologist specialising in childhood trauma as well as cancer. Hopeful she helps. 

Your situation sounds very distressing as well, so I hope you can stay firm in keeping your distance, and that it doesn’t affect you too much. I know that staying away from family is also difficult, as it makes it so painfully obvious that you don’t have the relationship with them you wish you had, that you deserve. But then again, who has a perfect family right? 🤷🏼‍♀️. 

I’m really happy you have such a supportive husband though 🥰, and that we’re also able to help each other out on this forum 😁. Keep in touch and wishing you the best 😘😘