Hi Barb. You are really in the wars you poor thing. I am so sorry that you're having such a terrible time. I know from personal experience that caring for someone who is dying is really stressful.
I can't help you with the leg numbness I'm afraid as it's not something I've experienced. And who is telling you that you have to work?
Have you got family who are supporting you emotionally at the moment? Are you having some counselling? I've found it very useful, especially when I've been highly distressed.
Can I suggest you call the BCNA helpline on 1800 500 258. As well as providing a friendly ear they may be able to suggest some services that you could access in your area.
I hope there'll be a light at the end of the tunnel for you soon. Big, big hug, K xox