Bit down lately

@Pebbz1981 you poor thing - I think all of us have felt completely shit at some time or another during this whole process.  We are all here for you though xoxox

You've got a lovely way with words @Wendy55.

Hello@Pebbz1981,
Its been a couple of days since you put your post up and I can only hope that you may be feeling a little brighter and have drawn once again on that strength that has gotten you this far,yes, it is so very very hard at times, physically mentally and emotionally,I am 5 years in from my metastatic diagnosis and have to admit have spent the last few days on reflection, of where I started and where I am heading on this weary path we tread, day in and day out, I do understand when we have those days which seem to stretch on and on, and there is no end in sight,you just think, is this it, is this how I am going to spend the rest of my life?.
No, it is not, we have those times to make us stronger, to dig even deeper into that well of strength that is there in all of us.
When this happens, I just let it - it is what it is - IT WILL PASS -
There are strategies and services in place just for these times,if you want them,sometimes I just need time out, to refocus on whats important and whats not,you mentioned that you have seen a counsellor,but are not quite ready to do so again, perhaps its enough just putting your post, up, and by putting your feelings down that will help, of course you are not ready to leave this world yet, and yes there are things that you want to do and see, and you will, like you I am a quiet person and a stay at home, I love my home,I have a few friends, but they are totally aware that if I am not feeling up to par, I will not socialise,however, I do have to stop and say to myself. this is not just about me, and will often find having a coffee with a friend or two really does help, I have used the services of the Cancer Council, the nurses here at BCNA, and also their special service of speaking to their counsellor who deals only with metastatic cancer.
Different things make me happy now, the small things,I went through a very bad time some time ago and after some gentle pursuasion from my gp and McGrath nurse, finally decided I would try some happy pills otherwise know as prozac, best thing I ever did, but thats what suited me,do you have a McGrath nurse?.
Would you feel happy  chatting to other women via phone who have mets, I belong to the NSW telephone support group for women who have metastatic cancer, we are linked via our home or mobile every 2 nd and 4 th Tuesday and we chat for an hour you can just listen or join in,.
You have had a huge amount to contend with lately and all of that has taken a toll on you, you have to take baby steps at the moment to get your physical and mental health back, YOU can do it, we will help you, thats what we are here for anytime, we understand, and we do care, no matter where you live in this beautiful country of ours.
So if I could wish you anything at the moment,it would be peace of mind, we all need that, its the first step to healing I think, to have that peace of mind that,well, these are the cards I have been dealt, and onwards and upwards from here,please be gentle on yourself,do what you want,and if thats laying in bed,so be it, use that time to do some meditation, mindfulness or whatever,{A block of chocolate goes down well I find} get stronger,and let us know how you are going.

Wendy55 

Any sunny days where you can sit out the back in the garden and enjoy the suns warmth? Warming sun makes me feel great! <3

Hello Pebbz1981
You are having a tough time aren’t you. 
My heart does out to you. 
My mind went to what services are out there in the community that can come to you to provide you with further support and care. 
A thousend good wishes to you. 
JmK

Hello @Pebbz1981 sending you a private message

Hello Pebbz dear sorry treatment is making you feel down lots of contacts for you here. 
Have you accessed the Pallative care team as part of your intensive treatment.....lots of assistsnce from them if you enquire.
I hope that the break will give body those extra magic bloods cells to overcome the problems.
Xoooo
Bright in hope

Hey @Pebbz1981 Things sound pretty shit at the moment, good on you for getting in here and letting off a bit of steam. I don't think the isolation that chronic disease can bring is taken into serious consideration-- you can be well cared for and loved but still be terribly lonely. If you have always been independent it's very hard to strike up new relationships when you are unwell and being stuck at home is dismal. I don't have a magic wand and am not at all a hugger, but I just wanted to let you know your voice is being heard. Marg xx

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer

Don't know what to say except hey there's always someone to talk to on here!  Perhaps if you jump on the link above and use the join button on the right hand side and write your detail and send.  Soon enough someone will respond to let you know you are a member of that private group as I think you will find others in there that maybe similar to you or give you a few hints

Take care