Forum Discussion

Dh5Wy83's avatar
Dh5Wy83
Member
3 years ago

Insulting and Judgmental Comments

 Something I was not prepared for post breast reconstruction, are the judgmental comments the scar on my belly is attracting.

I have been undergoing abdominal ultrasounds to try and figure out the problems I am having with my period.

The ultrasound people keep referring to the scar on my belly as a "tummy tuck". I've even been asked "why have you had a tummy tuck?"

 I have a lot of scars on my body. I am proud of every one of them. They are proof of all the crap I have been through with Hodgkin's lymphoma and breast cancer. None of these scars attract the same judgment and comments as the one on my belly.

I have not had a tummy tuck! I had a bilateral skin sparing mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction! I was in surgery for 9 hours! I was in hospital for 7 days! I was off work for 10 weeks!  I chose to undergo this surgery to remove breast cancer and reduce the risk of recurrence and death!!!!!! I was so SCARED going into that surgery!!

This was no FUCKING tummy tuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
coping
emotions
mastectomy
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young-women
  • Cath62's avatar
    Cath62
    Member
    3 years ago
    Hi @Dh5Wy83, most people mean well but don't always get everything right. I can understand someone doing an ultrasound asking if your scar related to a tummy tuck especially if they can't see your entire body or chest. They don't know what they don't know.

    Perhaps they could have asked what they scar related to instead.  Maybe they could have said nothing.  It is possible perhaps that they were trying to understand the scar tissue and what it was from so they could report properly for your ultrasound report. 

    Our scars are sensitive to us and they tell our story. I have so many scars from various surgeries you could play snakes and ladders on my body. I don't worry about the comments anymore but it took me all my years to date to get to that point. 

    Best thing to do when people are inappropriate is to be as nice as possible and explain politely and they will hopefully learn something from you. 
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    3 years ago
    I have found the majority of medical related staff to be highly professional
    and thoughtful. But not all. Occasionally you hit someone who either failed to engage their brain before opening their mouth or who
    thinks seeing your body entitles them to make uninformed comments on it. You do everyone else a favour by commenting, politely of course, on the inappropriateness of their comments. They may think twice next time. 
    Deep breath!