Forum Discussion
kmakm
7 years agoMember
How to prioritise self care?
So self care is the mantra in survivorship right?
I need to do gym three times a week for the weight bearing exercises to stave off the bone damage of Letrozole. Haven't managed to work that into my schedule since early last December.
On the days when I'm not at the gym I have to walk because minimum of 30 mins a day exercise, preferably an hour.
I have to bust stress, of which I have an excess. So I'm starting a yoga class on Saturday morning. Can't use food and booze to stress bust anymore.
I have to sort out my head, get rid of the depression, manage the anxiety, so it's a psychologist appointment every two or three weeks. She wants me to journal. I struggle to find the time. She also wants me to spend 30 minutes a day doing something I enjoy, just for me.
I saw my dietician today about my failure to knuckle down and lose weight. My willpower is rubbish and as you know, it's like rolling a boulder up a hill trying to lose weight in menopause on an AI. Have to eat a low sat fat diet because of the Letrozole cholesterol issues. I have to cook most days of the week for a vegetarian, three meat-eating teenagers and a Type 2 diabetes octogenarian.
There's also the assorted ongoing medical appointments that seem to roll around with remarkable frequency.
This afternoon on my way home from the dietician in Town, I received a phone call from my son saying my daughter was vomiting, a lot. She was already home with extreme tiredness and what she described as stress from the overwhelming amount of schoolwork she has (Yr 10). Of course it could be just that, or glandular fever, but my mind goes straight to cancer. Lymphoma probably...
I also get an email from school about my nephew (Yr 8) He's got yet another detention after being given several warnings to rein in his classroom behaviour. The teacher is "beginning to wonder if he has impulse control issues".
My son, starting uni next week, has done nothing whatsoever about learning to drive or getting a job and has zero money. How does he think he is going to pay for his day to day uni life? He's been sitting in his room playing computer games and watching anime since November. From the beginning of January I've made him cook dinner once a week.
My niece continues to be the most difficult of them all. Almost continually rude, refuses simple requests, sulky, terrible sleep issues & much more.
So to properly deal with each one of those issues takes buckets of time and buckets of money. GP appointments, specialist child psychologists and who knows what else. About to take vomiting daughter to the doctor now.
My self care, if done properly, would take buckets of time and buckets of money.
There are no buckets here. If there's a choice I have to prioritise the kids. Any prioritising of myself is already accompanied by massive guilt.
I am really struggling to arrange my survivorship life. And that's even before I start trying to find and then hopefully get a job. How does everyone do this? How do I recover fully and lead a healthier, engaged life in survivorship, and take care of everyone else, have a satisfying relationship with my partner, a job, maintain contact with my friends, keep fit, lose weight, not be stressed and feel OKish about everything? Is it actually possible to do at all?
Yours from the House of Bad Behaviour and Vomit, K
I need to do gym three times a week for the weight bearing exercises to stave off the bone damage of Letrozole. Haven't managed to work that into my schedule since early last December.
On the days when I'm not at the gym I have to walk because minimum of 30 mins a day exercise, preferably an hour.
I have to bust stress, of which I have an excess. So I'm starting a yoga class on Saturday morning. Can't use food and booze to stress bust anymore.
I have to sort out my head, get rid of the depression, manage the anxiety, so it's a psychologist appointment every two or three weeks. She wants me to journal. I struggle to find the time. She also wants me to spend 30 minutes a day doing something I enjoy, just for me.
I saw my dietician today about my failure to knuckle down and lose weight. My willpower is rubbish and as you know, it's like rolling a boulder up a hill trying to lose weight in menopause on an AI. Have to eat a low sat fat diet because of the Letrozole cholesterol issues. I have to cook most days of the week for a vegetarian, three meat-eating teenagers and a Type 2 diabetes octogenarian.
There's also the assorted ongoing medical appointments that seem to roll around with remarkable frequency.
This afternoon on my way home from the dietician in Town, I received a phone call from my son saying my daughter was vomiting, a lot. She was already home with extreme tiredness and what she described as stress from the overwhelming amount of schoolwork she has (Yr 10). Of course it could be just that, or glandular fever, but my mind goes straight to cancer. Lymphoma probably...
I also get an email from school about my nephew (Yr 8) He's got yet another detention after being given several warnings to rein in his classroom behaviour. The teacher is "beginning to wonder if he has impulse control issues".
My son, starting uni next week, has done nothing whatsoever about learning to drive or getting a job and has zero money. How does he think he is going to pay for his day to day uni life? He's been sitting in his room playing computer games and watching anime since November. From the beginning of January I've made him cook dinner once a week.
My niece continues to be the most difficult of them all. Almost continually rude, refuses simple requests, sulky, terrible sleep issues & much more.
So to properly deal with each one of those issues takes buckets of time and buckets of money. GP appointments, specialist child psychologists and who knows what else. About to take vomiting daughter to the doctor now.
My self care, if done properly, would take buckets of time and buckets of money.
There are no buckets here. If there's a choice I have to prioritise the kids. Any prioritising of myself is already accompanied by massive guilt.
I am really struggling to arrange my survivorship life. And that's even before I start trying to find and then hopefully get a job. How does everyone do this? How do I recover fully and lead a healthier, engaged life in survivorship, and take care of everyone else, have a satisfying relationship with my partner, a job, maintain contact with my friends, keep fit, lose weight, not be stressed and feel OKish about everything? Is it actually possible to do at all?
Yours from the House of Bad Behaviour and Vomit, K
136 Replies
- RomlaMember
- Brenda5MemberYes the news just winds me up. I don't need that stress in my life.
- arpieMemberI am a bit of a news junkie - but can understand the anxiety it can instil.
There was a comedian some years ago who did a skit along the lines of:
"People have been complaining about the amount of violence on Television these days ..... Every night, we watch stories about Rape, Murder, Burglary, Assaults and that's just on the News!" - kmakmMemberI turn it off far more than I used to. I'm a news junkie but it's less appealing as I get older. Humans seldom change, there's always been the horrors of crime, war, perversion etc. Some days I just don't need to hear it.
- Lynn65MemberI have come to find the news on radio and tv too anxiety inducing and traumatising. for the last ten years I turn off the radio when news comes on and the same with tv news (rare because I just watch streaming services in order to avoid news breaks).
I still get news from skimming headlines on a number of websites and reading a few articles. Somehow for me the written word helps distance the impact, while audio and video are inescapable. The bad news is still challenging but at least this way I reduce the level of overwhelm (probably not right word but that’s all I come up with) for myself. - kmakmMember@Brenda5 Do you mean part of your self care is to not tune into the news too often as it's depressing?
- RomlaMemberOh dear - have just discovered this thread as have been distracted by my own domestic turmoil.Wished I’d found it earlier- being 65 with twin 18 year old boys (yep menopause twins) has been hard this past year and my friends tend to be well past this stage into grand parenthood .It has been so helpful to know it’s not just me.
- iserbrownMemberAgree!
I love to catch up on daily events however sometimes I feel that a headline story, that the media decides we all need to know over and over, dominates. Other stories are missed by me and possibly the media, as all the time is spent constantly repeating the headline story of the day.
Media don't seem to follow up on some stories and just move to the next headline and bang it at us again!
It does my head in! - AfraserMemberIt's possibly a good idea even if you do get wound up in politics! I normally get pretty involved in the doings of the world but lately the degree of the inexplicably bizarre or unspeakably bad is getting too great.
- ZoffielMemberI get that @Brenda5
While I'm not totally without empathy, I've reached the point that being constantly bombarded by bad news and stories that suggest humanity is doomed does my head in. I look at the news online so I have a broad idea of what is going on, but I don't need to know all the gruesome details. If it doesn't affect me directly, I really don't want to know.
I used to get really wound up about politics and people doing shitty things and maybe I might reinvolve myself at some point in the future. For now, Im sticking my head in the sand. Mxx