Forum Discussion
Karel01
10 years agoMember
How to make a choice?
I think I am at one of my lowest points in my 13 year BC experience. PET scan yesterday and confirmation of my suspicions...... Cancer has spread to my bones, extensively. I haven't responded to hormone therapy and chemo , both oral and IV haven't halted the spread. I have a tumor in my lung and after a battle with aromasin and pneumanitis, my right lung isn't doing too well.
so my oncologist does have chemo she can give me or I refuse chemo and maintain a better quality of life for maybe a shorter lifespan.
I have always been in awe of you fantastic ladies who take this disease head on and so bravely battle the side effects but I am so scared and I have 4 beautiful grandchildren that I would like to spend good times with them, not debilitated by horrible side effects.
i know that you can't make my decision for me, but some feedback and opinions could possibly clear my thoughts. My gorgeous, supportive husband just wants me to feel calm and accepting of my decision and will live with anything I choose.
Thanks, lovely ladies ( and men )
Karel ??
12 Replies
- iserbrownMember
Good luck with your appointment - we are all sending you positive vibes!
Take care from Christine xx
- AndijMember
Hi Karel
You are experiencing what most if not all of us fear - being told we have Metastasic return. I, myself have not had this only just finishing treatment last December. However having been Stage 3 Grade 3 with megametastisis to 4 lymph nodes it is everpresent in my mind. Through all of my research I do not know what way I will go if it ever happens but I know there are heaps of positive stories out there. Just an option, have a look at Radical Remission by Kelly Turner. She has a book and there is a web site etc... I am Not making any recommendations at all, I guess just sharing something that, if I am faced with what you are facing, It is something I will definitely consider along with or instead of the traditional method.....
Sending love and hugs xx
- primekMember
My sister lived for 15 years with secondary breast cancer and I recall her conversation with her Dr..."What's the point of doing more?" He told her if she tolerated it okay and could slow it down she could get more time with hood quality of life. When she started her journey her kids were adults but only 1 married. In that time she saw them marry, met her grandchildren and shared wonderful memories. She even worked as a helper at the kindy to get more quality times. She knew when it was time to walk away. I admire her courage and hope if mine returns I too can follow her path. Take care. Kath x
- Karel01Member
Oops Cath, I have lived with Karel with a K, I just automatically use it.??
- Karel01Member
Thanks Kath,
As the day went on , your suggestion was in my list of questions to ask.I appreciate the feedback and support and just reading the posts has lifted my spirits and cleared my head a little.
Cheers
Karel??
- Karel01Member
Thanks Wendy,
I don't know what happened but I thought I posted this in the" Living with Advanced Cancer area. I often read the posts there and am a member of the group Thank you for your advice and I see my oncologist tomorrow and I know she will be thorough with her advice.
Cheers
Karel??
- Karel01Member
Thanks Christine,
I must go down to the poultry farm and have a good look at the duck's bum. You made me smile. As I said to Jel, as the day went on I realised that I had to talk more in depth with my doctor. It was just that fear that I thought I had conquered really played with my head. I see my onc tomorrow so hopefully I will have more information.
thanks for your thoughtful reply
Karel??
- Karel01Member
Dear Jel,
thank you for your words and thoughts. I'm a bit more together this evening and during the day I've written down questions to ask my oncologist and a pros and cons list. I think what was worrying me the most was remembering how I spent the last 6 months of 2015 with shocking fatigue, stays in hospital, loss of hair etc and that in that time spent less time with the kids.
What makes me so annoyed is that even with a not so good prognosis, at the moment I am feeling quite good. I've travelled this road before and will definitely make an informed decision with my doctor .
Thanks again for your thoughtful reply, just knowing someone listens, can lift you.
cheers......Karel
- socodaMember
Hi Karel,
So sorry about your news. It must be so incredibly scary and bewildering. I posted the other week about a lady I met when I was being discharged from hospital whose breast cancer had also spread to her bones including her spine. She had been given a poor prognosis. When I met her she had been surviving her secondary cancer for 7 years, was still working and living strong. As a thought, you could always commence the treatment that your oncologist has offered and see how you react to it, could be better than you think. I'm sure that what you ultimately decide will certainly be the right option for you. Sending you best wishes and hugs Xx Cath
- wendy55Member
Hi Karel,
Just jumped over from the secondary breast cancer site and read your post, what can i say that several of the others ladies havent said, i too have secondaries, but at this point in time the only thing that matters is YOU and the descions that you and your husband will be talking about in the near future,along with treatment options with your oncologist, there is so much information to take on board and you will probably feel overwhelmed at times, I am three years post diagnosis and I know there are several ladies who are 7 8 and 9 years or so post diagnosis of secondaries as well,please "pop" over to the secondary breast cancer site and perhaps reading some of our posts may help you in some small way, please take care, you have a wonderful,loving supportive family,please know that we are thinking of you and you are not alone,
wendy 55