Hi, it is natural for it to feel quite overwhelmed at the beginning: it feels like life and death and it is all such a shockingly different place to be.
The chemo you are going to have is called neo-adjuvant chemo, and I have heard people who have had it saying how great it is being able to see the effect the chemo has on the tumor, watching it shrink and sometimes even vanish completely, which of course you can't do if they take out the tumor first and then do chemo. What drugs are they using for you?
The fear and overwhelm are natural, but learning how to settle yourself despite these things becomes an important job. Along with trying to understand all about breast cancer and all about what is going to happen next. Early on, I had an old hand kindly point out to me that it is important to understand that whenever you think you know what the plan is and what to expect next, it is very probably going to change. The car will break down, your doctor will go on holiday and you see the breast nurse for some process instead of the doctor, or the pathology result from your surgery will show some new factor and suddenly they will add something to your treatment, or change it completely. So expect the unexpected, expect change, expect to be surprised, and maybe even keep a score of how often it happens each week.
You are now part of a wonderful group of women who are travelling with you or in front of you, who will be reading your blogs and care about how you are coping, and want to hear from you and support you. So if you wake in the night freaking out, go online and write to us about it, Someone will probably be there within a day or so, maybe even in the middle of the night, and your blog will brighten their sleepless night or tough day, and they will send back to you to brighten yours
All the best, keep in touch
Jessica
