Not doing so well tonight

@Sazbe. I feel badly for you. It’s such a terrible time physically and emotionally. Don’t start panicking until u get definitive results - u have to concentrate on looking after yourself now. I would be asking for more pain medication too if u are uncomfortable. Do u have a good friend that can come and visit?  Big hugs xoxox

My dear @Sazbe, I wish I could come over and give you a big gentle hug too. I agree with @kmakm about a breast friend...a sort of breast doula, who could fill in the gaps which your partner seems unable to fill. Perhaps it is his past traumatic experience with his first wife or maybe it is just his underlying nature. I've been married for nearly thirty nine years now, and my Bearded One is an Aspie. (aspergers). It took me a good few years to learn to spell out my needs and wants very clearly. He doesn't get hints and finds it very difficult to read people. I learnt early on not to say something like "Ooh, a cup of tea would be nice"...as his typical response would be "That sounds like a good idea, I'll have a coffee thanks". I had to say "Lovey, could you please make me a cup of tea?" ...and he would, quite happily. I also had some stupid brain fart, after about four of five years of marriage. I was feeling quite emotionally neglected and sobbed... "You never tell me you love me anymore..." His response was "I told you I love you when I married you. If the situation changes. I'll let you know" So Romeo, he most certainly isn't, but his deep love for me is something else. He has cared for me in his way for all these years, and all I had to do, was drop my expectations of him being able to show his love for me in a way that he simply couldn't. Any more than expecting a colour blind person to tell red from green, he just can't. Pain is another story...don't put up with it. Tell the staff you need either more of what you're getting, or more frequently, or perhaps something different. If drug A isn't doing the job, perhaps you need drug B. Be gentle with yourself, and remember, this isn't just a physical attack on your body, it's an attack on your soul and your inner peace. There is no magic bullet for that, but it will improve. The night time nasties will become easier to put into perspective when your physical pain lessens, and then your inside healing can begin. We are all here for you, and can give you an electronic shoulder to lean on, and we will, day or night. I hope you get some rest tonight, and that you feel a bit better tomorrow. (((hug))) Ally.

Oh @Sazbe you poor love, you are really in the weeds.

Someone here said they were once  told by a medico that there was no clinical purpose for pain. Can you get some stronger painkillers? There really is no point in suffering if you don't have to. I had quite a lot of pain with my WLE but it subsided quite quickly, in a couple of days, apart from movement related pain.

General anaesthetics can make you feel low, as can lying there with nothing to distract you from the big bogeyman. Have you got something you can listen to on an iPod etc? A podcast, talking book or some meditation?

As for your husband, I'd like to suggest that you put aside your expectations, as clearly they are not going to be met. My mother said that for a long time in her marriage to my father, she hoped that he'd give her thoughtful, meaningful and lovely birthday and Christmas presents. She'd drop pointed hints, but it rarely worked. Early on in my marriage I was making a similar complaint about my darling husband, and she told me I'd save a lot of heartache if I stopped expecting and just bought the gift myself. She was right! So apart from the odd moment of wistfulness for a grand romantic gesture, I've let go of it.

I think the definition of madness being doing the same thing repeatedly but expecting a different outcome could apply here! Perhaps letting go of your expectations of your husband will save you both some considerable angst and woe.

You are clearly very considerate of your husband's grief and pain. Perhaps through this BC experience you could designate someone else to be your 'person'. A relation, or a best friend? Maybe even two people. Sometimes you find that it's not your closest mates who step up in times of crisis, but the circle beyond the inner one, or a colleague. People surprise you, and with a few exceptions, always want to help.

As for your uneven boobs, well the rogue one will settle a bit and time will tell whether you really go on to care about the uneven nature of them. Lots of women decide they don't, and you can always see a plastic surgeon about augmentation or reduction to match if you do. Care that is. Give it time.

Breathe lovely. Be kind to yourself. And remember you're never alone here. The Whale of Doom has got you at the moment. You'll feel better in the morning. Big (but gentle!) hug, K xox

Dear oh dear! It will get better!  Huge trauma and adjustment for you and your partner.
Take care of you and don't sweat the small stuff 
Take care