Impact on kids

Hello @Sooz in addition to the great advice above, there is a Medikidz book aimed at 8-12 year olds that you may find helpful. See link below ( in the more information section). 
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/telling-your-children/
A psychologist if available at your treating centre may also be a very useful resource to talk about strategies for young children. 

@Sooz. There is a very good graphic novel type booklet produced by BCNA for children  of people with Mets. I gave it to a little one who was nearly 9 at the time. She asked me if I  had people inside me having a party
She did understand the booklet.
I am not sure if there is a similar publication for early stage breast cancer

What @kmakm said... My kids were 11, 12 & 15 at diagnosis and they have grown up knowing that they never met their auntie, my sister, due to breast cancer so it was always going to be an issue for them.  I won't say we've not had anxiety problems but really, they've done pretty well.  We told them from the start, that we wouldn't keep secrets and that they would always be the first to know anything.  I also talked to them about the things other kids, and adults, might say such as "your Mum's going to die" and that they should tell me or their Dad if anything was said that worried them.  I have always been honest too, about how I'm feeling.  They have each at different times, asked me questions - as @kmakm says, usually in the car or while walking.  Remember that if your child gets the slightest wind that there could be secrets, she may build them up to be monsters.  I would also be inclined to advise her teacher, it someone at school.  You can tell her that such and such needs to know in case she needs to talk to someone, but you can instruct that person not to bring it up with your daughter.

Hi @Sooz. My experience is that kids only take in what they can understand. And sometimes they get hold of the wrong end of the stick. So repetition is the key.

Conversation while walking or driving can be useful. No eye contact can encourage kids to ask what they may hesitate to if you're eyeballing them!

I also found that I disappeared into my own head a lot of the time during treatment. As a result I presumed the kids knew and understood what was going on. Sometimes they did, sometimes they didn't. So checking in with everyone individually at various times is valuable.

They do all respond individually, and so meeting their needs can be complex. Work through your options until you find one that works. Some kids might benefit from reading information; there are a lot of bpoks out there. Others might like to talk, maybe not to you! Others may only talk to you.

My four are highly resistant to talking to counsellors. Two tried. One didn't like it and gave it up, the other has grudgingly persisted. She's 10. I tell her it's good to keep your options open to have someone outside the family to talk to.

All the best, K xox

I think all you can do is be there for her, answering any of her questions and giving her lots of hugs. When she's ready she'll tell her friends...or not, i think that's up to her. I gather her teacher knows  so he/she can keep a quiet eye on her. Although my daughters are a lot older my eldest accepted it at face value whereas my younger daughter locked it away. Everyone deals with it differently. As for taking her somewhere, until you can, sit down with her and plan it together to make it a special day. Cathxx