I was diagnosed on Friday with an Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast. I am in shock. It is small and they have found it early which is all positive. But why do I feel so bad and scared. I feel like I am being told that it is small, it will be dealt with quickly, most women survive, I've got nothing to worry about... Yes all of that is good to hear but right now I am just trying to come to terms with the words I have breast cancer. It is probably stupid but I feel that I don't have the right to be feeling the way I do. It is not as bad as so many other women may have and have dealt with. I am making a fuss over nothing. The fact that I already suffer from depression and anxiety one means I am an emotional mess right now, but two makes me feel that people will say that I am making this big thing over nothing and that I'm a nutcase anyway and its just another thing that I'm carrying on about. It is all new to me, I don't really know what to expect or how long this whole process will take. I don't have enough information yet. I see my GP on Tues and then I guess we organise about seeing a surgeon or specialist. The doctors and nurses at Breastscreen were wonderful but just kept saying take it one step at a time, which is fine but I need some idea of how many steps there might be. Yes I know this is an unknown at this early stage and it will depend on further tests and who knows what... my mind is just racing around in circles right now. I don't know if any of this makes sense, I am rambling. Have other women felt the same way? What am I meant to feel?

Hi Jacqui There is no right or wrong way to feel when you are first diagnosed but I can tell you I felt exactly the same way when I was told I have invasive ductal carcinoma last October. I can't believe how much I cried in those first few weeks. I also had panic attacks and the waiting for test results, and treatment plans was almost unbearable. It's hard to know what to expect or how long treatment will take because everyone is different and individual treatments depend on how big the cancer is, the type, grade, stage etc and you may not know that for a little while. It is indeed one step at a time. You are not making a fuss over nothing. Cancer can be a life changing event even if it is small. I wish you could have all the answers right here right now, but that isn't possible. However, you will have them soon. For now all you can do is take a deep breath and deal as best you can day to day by taking it one day at a time. And there may be plenty of people around you who won't know the right thing to say or understand the way you feel, that's what this network is for as we have gone through it or are going through it with you. So don't hesitate to come on here and vent if you need to or ask questions. Sending you all my best wishes Nadine

Hey what you are feeling is very normal. Its ok to be emotional god knows i was although i used to wait till my young daughter wasnt around because seeing me get upset would upset her so i used to breakdown in private. Its important you get support to get through even though it sounds your diagnosis is great, treatment will take its toll both physically and emotionally. And that is perfectly fine and normal. Amazing how better you feel after a good cry. Dont be too hard on yourself and do whatever you need to do to get better. Take care and stay in touch.???? Maryrose

Hi Jacqui So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Completely understandable you're an emotional mess. It's awful and I don't think anyone can understand just how awful and terrifying until they've been in the same boat. Great news that yours is small and early, but that doesn't detract from the enormity of the news. Strange that we put ourselves down like that. Some kind of guilt - not being as bad off as others. I felt like that too - there are lots of women who have early cancers, but it's still traumatic. You're not a nutcase and you're not carrying on! This place is great for help. How many steps? Maybe just try and focus on the step in front of you, your GP appointment, or it could get overwhelming. Your medical team will look after you :)

Hi Jacqui, You are felling just as all of us have felt, and there is certainly no competition here about who has the biggest tumour, and therefore the right to feel worse than anyone else! We have all had that sick feeling when the diagnosis was given, and it had nothing to do with the size of the tumour. No one who has not had the words 'You have cancer' said to them can truly understand the impact of hearing it, so matter how sympathetic they are. All you can do is go down the route your doctor suggests. I have private health insurance, and asked a friend who has had breast cancer if she would recommend using her breast surgeon which she did, and I am very happy with her. A friend with private health was equally happy with the surgeon assigned to her by the hospital. Your GP will give you the referral. Your breast surgeon will tell you your options related to the size of your lump, and will be wonderful, as is the breast nurse, if there is one in your area. You can't find out if chemotherapy or radiation will be necessary for you until after the tissue taken from your operation is analysed, and the specific type of breast cancer is known. The time that this will take out of your life this year can't yet be known, but be aware that this support group is here for you and will answer any questions that we can from our own experience. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.

Sorry, typo. My friend who did NOT have private health was very happy with her surgeon and her treatment through the public health system.

I feel like a fraud... | Online Network

Ann-Marie
Member
10 years ago
Hi Merrel,

I just wanted to jump in and welcome you to the Online Network.

~Ann-Marie x
Merrel
Member
10 years ago
Dear Jacqui

I'm new to this forum and found your post very true to my own experience. I was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer in September 2015, one week after my mothers' funeral. I was a wreck. I've now been through surgery (clear margins and lymph nodes) in early Dec, and am having my 4th (and final) round of chemo on monday 21 march. Then I start radio, to be followed by hormone blockers. I was in denial for a long time and thought the surgery would 'do the trick' and it would all be fine. I didn't think I'd have chemo (though I accepted I've have radio, but after seeing the medical oncologist in Jan, I was in for chemo three days later). I too have existing chronic depression and BC hasn't helped! I didn't want BC to define who I was, but it has/is changing who I am and how I see the world. That's OK, but it's taken a while to get used to. I also sink into massive depressive episodes after each chemo treatment - am convinced it's another side effect of the chemo drugs hammering my system so can deal with this a bit better now.

My husband is great, but was convinced my test results were mixed up with someone elses right up to the day of actual surgery. He's supportive, but I don't think anyone who hasn't had cancer understand quite what it does to you.

One thing which has really helped me to get through the last 6 months has been a weekly planner - I add in all appointments (medical and otherwise) and tick them off when I've 'achieved' them. I also mark off every single day on a calendar on the fridge so I can see the progress I am making.

I struggled telling other people about my BC - but was so much happier after I had. The most surprising people offer support. I have a wonderful neighbour whose partner has just finished chemo who keeps supplying me with chocolate. I'm now planning on returning to work for a few days a week so I can start getting back into that other world again. This is scary too!

I'm still preoccupied with BC at times, scared witless and paralysed with grief at others - but know I am moving forward with each day as well.

I wish I had found this forum earlier - it's really great to read other's posts.

take care XX
jacquipp
Member
10 years ago
Rosie thank you so much. Every bit of advice from you lovely ladies helps so much.

I am glad that things are moving in the right direction for you. You sound so brave to have faced all this so well.

Hugs xxx
RosieJ
Member
10 years ago
I hope things have moved fast, for you Jacqui.

I was diagnosed 16 Dec, 2015...great Christmas Gift, eh?...I had previously had Breast Cancer and partial mastectomy and lymph nodes , in 1986...29 years ago, at age 40.This current Cancer is a new Cancer.

Total shock for my husband and myself, but so grateful for my caring GP, who rang me on a Sunday afternoon, to give me biopsy results, and then faxing off my info' to Surgeon immediately, resulting in consultation before Christmas, and Surgery 4 January, 2016..Bi lateral mastectomies...Result: Totally contained to 9mm tumour, Grade 3 Invasive. Unbelievably, surgery is almost painless...mostly just Panadol ! (2nd Breast also removed due to fairly high risk of another cancer (my choice.)

My advice is to listen to everything, and act quickly...your Surgeon looks after the Surgery, your McGrath Breast Care Nurse looks after you and all your questions, the Hospital cares for you, then Oncologist looks after the Cancer problem. The support given by BNCA is just wonderful. This will be your "Team " for a long time.

I believe you just hand your problem over to your team, and follow the trail they lead you on...you are most certainly involved in all decision making, and have choices of your own.

I am now on Tamoxifen for 5 years...not so much a choice, but preferred medication, due to side effects of all of them.

Prosthesis', Bras all done in a very caring way, at "You Really Are Beautiful", Lambton, NSW, and full rebate for Prosthesis from Medicare, and 65% off bras, from my Health Fund. Really becomes a "design your own" new breasts !

Good luck on your Journey...one that we really don't ever want to travel on...you will find that there are just so many caring people out there.
jacquipp
Member
10 years ago
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I am so glad you have finished your treatment. Like you I like to know what to expect, even just to know options and possibilities rather than going in completely blind.

take care xxx
Lindyloo
Member
10 years ago
Hi JaquiP,

i too had invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 3. I have recently just finished all my treatment. I was diagnosed last May. At the beginning, in my experience, there were lots of tests, ct scans, bloods etc etc. They need to do all this first to plan their course of treatment. You feel like you are waiting and waiting. But I thought that they have to be thorough first. I ended up with chemo first ( sometimes this happens if tumour is big or advanced) then mastectomy then 25 rounds of radiation. I set myself goals. Firstly to get through chemo, secondly mastectomy, thirdly radiation. Take one day at a time.

i also found it a great help to have someone with you at dr's appointments as I couldn't remember anything that was said! I did also read lots to prepare myself. In my case I like to know what to expect.

everyone has different treatments, different side effects but it is always good to come on here and ask anything. There is usually someone who can help.

i wish you all the best. Let us know how you go.

Linda xx
jacquipp
Member
10 years ago
Eileen thank you so much. All the support has already helped me. I don't feel so alone. It is great to have somewhere to turn to where people understand

i hope you are doing well xx
skitzy
Member
10 years ago
Hi Jacqui

Welcome to the forum, I was diagnosed in January with invasive Lobular carcinoma & I have to say the ladies on here made me feel a lot better about my BC with all the helpful information & support.

It is really hard at first & overwhelming when you are told it is cancer, I just kept bursting into tears, which is a natural reaction.

Take it a day at a time & after each treatment look at it as 1 more treatment over & done with.

I am wishing you good luck with your treatment & remember we are here for you.

Eileen xx
jacquipp
Member
10 years ago
Karenhappyquilter you are right it is the emotional roller coaster over feeling I have no control. I hope your treatment is going well. You sound so brave. Thank you so much for the support.
jacquipp
Member
10 years ago
Karen thank you so much for the support. I did start worrying from that first phone call from Breastscreen to say I needed more tests. It was a long week of what if and uncertainty. I guess now its a matter of this is the situation and just do what is needed.