Was diagnosed 27th November 2019 I'm in some kind of denial

My story actually starts when I had my 2 yearly mammogram which was in October this year. I'm one of those people that when some test needs to be done I do it. This time was no different but deep down I felt odd about it for some strange reason. All the other times I was of a lower weight but this time I was heavier and of course I blame the "fat for everything lol". Anyway went to the appointment the ladies there are awesome and they remember you which is great and non judgemental which made me feel a little better. Ok had the mammogram and went home. 2 weeks later I got a phone call from the Breast Awareness clinic at Fiona Stanley Hospital (in WA) saying that I need to come in for an ultrasound and maybe a biopsy. That is when I went into semi shock... I made the appointment which was on the 26th November. The day came I went to the appointment the staff there were awesome the Dr she was brilliant.
Had another mammogram, then an ultrasound and after a few minutes was called in to have the core biopsy. I thought to myself my poor right breast. When that was all done I made an appointment for the following day.
Couldn't sleep that night so I was up googling core biopsy, ultrasounds whatever I thought of I googled it.
Finally crashed. 
Woke up travelled to the hospital and got there 1 hour early. 
Time of the appointment the Dr called me in and she was so calm and then she told me. The results came back Grade 1 DCIS invasive breast cancer. Up until she mentioned the C word I was calm but then that opened the flood gates and I just broke down.
She reassured me that it has been caught early and the treatment will be surgery, radiotherapy and hormone therapy. I thanked her and made another appointment to see the nurse, surgeon.
When I walked out of the reception the ladies that I saw the day before asked how I went I told them and I just broke down. But we all hugged which made me feel somewhat better.
I got home and told my son. As I am his only living parent (his father died in 1995) this shook him but as he said "Mum you are going to kick this in the ass hard" then I lost it again.
Fast forward to 12th December (yesterday) when I saw my nurse and surgeon. My best friend whom I have know  since we were 5 came with me for support as well as someone to listen in case it went over my head (still in denial here).
The surgeon is a lovely woman she told me what was going to be done and how I have to go the day before I go in to hospital to have some dye injected for the lymph nodes. Also explained the surgery and what options there are. Also about the radiotherapy etc.
I still cannot believe that I actually have breast cancer. How in the space of 2 years from one mammogram to another this happened. I said to the nurse I am blaming it on the fat.. I have to blame it on something.

The only person I have not told is my Mum. My Mum is 96 and I have actually put it off since 27th November but I will tell her next week when I take my son with me and maybe this will mend the bridge that has broken between them. There are in my family my Mum, my Son and myself (my Dad passed away in 2008) so as I said to my friend this has to bring us together or there is no hope.


To say I am not scared would be lying to myself, I am petrified beyond words.
To think that I am a strong person like everyone says I am deep down I am a weak jelly baby.
I am angry.
I want to shout at everyone to back off.
I sometimes want to get in my car and drive far away and forget about this which feels like a nightmare.
I think it is all a bad dream and I will wake up and find all is well.