Forum Discussion
Found out this week I have DCIS
I’m 60 years old and I noticed a slight indentation under my left nipple and a dull ache in my left breast. I was supposed to have a Mammogram in May, but you know COVID happened.
Anyway I finally arranged my Mammogram for early this month, mentioned change did the scan, had an examination, was told the usual call if something found or letter in 8 days. Well it was the phone call.
For the sake of my adult children I’m trying to be, but the things going through my head, is the cancer still contained, has the biopsy caused it to spread. I can’t ask this question as I haven’t had time along with a medical person since I’ve been diagnosed, I know I have no right to complain, my family want this treated and treated quickly so I seem to have lost control of my treatment and care.
Are these feelings normal, my surgeon has told me this cancer I have has a 100% survival rate, so why do I feel like I do, there are so many women/men worse off than me, everything seems to be happening so fast no time to process
Anyway I finally arranged my Mammogram for early this month, mentioned change did the scan, had an examination, was told the usual call if something found or letter in 8 days. Well it was the phone call.
Went back had the tests exams and biopsy.
Was asked to come back with my husband for the biopsy results, while being prepared by staff that things didn’t look good and everything looked very suspicious.
Was asked to come back with my husband for the biopsy results, while being prepared by staff that things didn’t look good and everything looked very suspicious.
I’ve been lucky been diagnosed, had specialist appt and my surgery is due Tuesday exactly 1 week after. We are still waiting for the staining results to come through.
I don’t feel like I’m allowed to feel anything but calm about my diagnosis, my husband keeps telling me with our knowledge of cancer (he’s a two time survivor) there’s nothing to worry about, it’s early and contained so I just need to be calm and relaxed about the whole process.
I don’t feel like I’m allowed to feel anything but calm about my diagnosis, my husband keeps telling me with our knowledge of cancer (he’s a two time survivor) there’s nothing to worry about, it’s early and contained so I just need to be calm and relaxed about the whole process.
For the sake of my adult children I’m trying to be, but the things going through my head, is the cancer still contained, has the biopsy caused it to spread. I can’t ask this question as I haven’t had time along with a medical person since I’ve been diagnosed, I know I have no right to complain, my family want this treated and treated quickly so I seem to have lost control of my treatment and care.
Are these feelings normal, my surgeon has told me this cancer I have has a 100% survival rate, so why do I feel like I do, there are so many women/men worse off than me, everything seems to be happening so fast no time to process
28 Replies
- It’s hard sometimes for family to hit the right note - too much can look like taking over, too little like not caring! It’s hard on everyone. I found the brisk, practical attitude of professionals helped a lot - stuff to be done, decisions to be made rather than too much reflection - I had plenty of time for that later, when I was much better informed and much surer about myself and what really mattered. And a bit of a melt is therapeutic! Take care, best wishes.
- @FLClover thank you, well today was the day I had those emotions, from not being able to get the right advice or be told the right person to get the necessary information, to having a bad fat old ugly cry session. My daughter really came through sat there and held me through it and apologised for forgetting this was happening to me, she was just trying to make things easier for me, she thought. Have spoke to my lovely Breast Care Nurse, who suggested postponing my procedure, I said no its ok, while I'm not a fan of the hospital thats been chosen, I will go ahead with my surgery tomorrow, she eased my mind, am I a fan of having to sit in an armchair from 6:15am and my possible surgery time of 4pm in the afternoon no but its the way hospitals work these days, no being admitted into the ward before the surgery. Only time I won't be in the armchair is when they do my ECG, my mammogram to insert Hook Wire and my surgery, it is going to be a long tiring day but I will get through it. Thanks
- Welcome @Blister
Truly stinks to be here but you're in the right place for warmth, understanding and a wealth of knowledge. That beginning part just after diagnosis is nothing short of unbearable. The rollercoaster of emotions and your brain continually conjuring up the worst possible scenario it can think of.
The ladies are right, as usual, it is your show and even though you've been there with somebody who has gone through cancer it's never the same as when it's your name on the top of the results.
Your hubby must feel like an old pro at this by now, no wonder he's so calm and matter of fact.
The breast care nurses are the best go between you and the medicos. They can normally put what they've said into a language us mere mortals can understand and will go in to bat for you if it's ever needed.
There really is no right or wrong way to get through this. Just do what you need to do be that cry, scream, curse, jump up and down, go into hibernation from everyone else or all of the above.
One day at a time lovely.
Wishing you all the best and lots of hugs.
xoxoxoxoxox - @Anne65, I have bought a book and am writing my questions and things Im being told to do to get ready for my surgery tomorrow, my surgeon is lovely and told me no question is dumb they are all important, I spoke with my Breast Care Nurse today and she is lovely and caught me in the middle of my melt down but we are good now. Think you have to be a special person to have their job. I'm glad yours was picked up early as well. Thank you I'm ready for my surgery tomorrow
- @Blister I’m really glad you did 😊. Having those meltdowns and ugly crying sessions is a great way of releasing all that pent up fear and anger. And they’re the best when we don’t feel guilty for having them. It’s true that your family only have the best for you in mind, and will try to downplay it, thinking that will ease things for you. Unfortunately it doesn’t, not with something this big. When I had to go through more surgery, plus radiation etc, I just wanted my parents to allow me to feel scared and acknowledge that fear, because it was definitely valid. I appreciated my dad telling me he knew I was going to beat this, but I really just wanted someone to say to me, you have the right to be shitscared right now. So cry, and yell, and here’s a plate to smash against the wall, because it’s all valid. Luckily, my sister came through and told me to allow my emotions, so I did, and it felt better. She just sat with me and my fear. Then I sat with my fears, and asked myself what exactly was it that I was so afraid of, and whether it was realistic, and what could I do about it. That helped.Your emotions will change through each phase. I wish I could tell myself then, what I know now, but of course that’s impossible. The only reason I’m better now is because I went through each stage and allowed it to happen and run its course. Seeing a psychologist has helped an enormous amount. Also, make sure you have a supportive medical team. I can’t put enough emphasis with words on how important that is. If you’re not happy about something and have anxiety, then change it, because it’s your intuition telling you something is wrong. You have every right to voice all your concerns, especially now.It does sound like tomorrow will be a bit of a long haul. Make sure you have something interesting to read or watch if you can.It sounds lovely that your daughter is there for you. I remember in my worst period, just crying all day in the bedroom, and my 7 yr old daughter would come in, not say anything, and just hand me tissues. Then she’d kiss me and leave me alone. Bless her, my beautiful girl, she gave me so much motivation to get better.So they do have your best interest at heart, and are also scared senseless by it all and trying to be brave for you, and suffering in their own way, but it’s good to let people know, as you did, that it is scary and you do need to release and vent somehow. As long and as many times as you need to.All the best for tomorrow. One thing I can tell you is that you can be deliriously happy again after all this 🍀❤️😘
- @Blister Hope your surgery went well today. Thinking of you & sending love, positive thoughts & prayers your way. Stay strong & be kind to yourself. You got this!! love & hugs xx
- Thinking of you, @Blister. Hoping your post-surgery recovery is okay. Rest up sweetheart xxx I’m 4 weeks out of my mastectomy and still taking it easy.
- Hoping everything went well today. I think for the first few days after surgery you again need to take in the ‘new normal’. Time for further decisions later, now rest and be gentle on yourself. And accept any help offered!
- Thinking of you as you recover from your surgery @Blister .... make haste slowly - allow the family & friends to 'spoil you' - let them do the meals, the housework & everything else .....
As the others have said, It is totally 100% ok to skip between anger, denial, sadness - and yes, the occasional melt down is a part of it as well - and a great release of tension! But if your find the sadness is overwhelming you, please seek professional help! Your GP may be able to refer you ... or your local Breast Cancer Centre may have help there .... where you are more likely to find a bc specific psychologist. Just talking about it openly and sharing it with a professional should be able to give you coping mechanisms ...
Personally I found that it mucked with my BRAIN more than anything else! And sometimes that is very hard to control, as it has a mind of its own! Keeping BUSY doing things is the secret .... try & get back into your hobbies or take up a new one - even more so now with Covid as we can’t get together with buddies as readily as before.
Try & keep your sense of humour 'up there' - we have a really good 'funnies page' (called Friday Funnies, but we add them every day!!) Just click on the link to add pics and posts ...
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19116/friday-funnies#latest
If you are into arts & crafts, we have a 'Creative Corner'
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14979/creative-corner#latest
and if into your garden, a Gardening post as well!!
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/comment/186078#Comment_186078
And we even have a Fishing post, as that is one of my passions!
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19494/fishing-brag-pics
The next 'plan of attack' will be when they get your results back from the pathology - then you'll have a much clearer picture of the path ahead.
Wishing you all the best for your results & ongoing treatment. Take care xx - Hi, Thank you for all the advice and support, it has been a bit of a roller coaster, I had my lumpectomy last Tuesday and yesterday finally got my results, it would appear that the little blighter had left and had become invasive, and the area was bigger than initially thought. Good news though it looks like the escaped convicts were contained in the wide incision they took, but they are very happy with the margins, so they are talking of going back in taking bigger margins and first node biopsy, seeing my surgeon this afternoon to discuss next step.
