What now?

Congrats on finishing your treatment, it's a long road and you have done well. I, like you, think what now? I blogged the other day about moving slowly forward and while I am going forward my mind still constantly wonders back to the past. Some days I don't like the new normal and then stop and realise my new normal is not complete yet, I still have a lot of recovery to do. My expectations were unrealistic and I expected to bounce back after treatment, not so, some days I feel like an old woman and constantly wonder is this the new normal? I see my oncologist in late July to check how I'm going on the hormone tablets, also see the surgeon after a mammogram and ultrasound in late July as well. June is the first month I haven't had to visit the hospital since this all started, while it felt good not having to travel up there, I did feel very disconnected and lost. As all the ladies have posted, the way we feel is quite normal, that's comforting. Good to hear from you Joy and I hope you become more happier sooner than later, lots of hugs to you, 

Hazel xx

Yes, I think persistance in challenging the fearful thoughts at every turn is the secrect and take action eg. go for a walk or involve yourself in an activity that you love.

So glad to hear that you are mostly in a good place.

Best wishes

Joy

It is so good to hear that this is a normal response to having just finished treatment and good to also hear that you are feeling so much better. 

I just need to be more patient and get back to being grateful for all the good things in my life instead of thinking about the "what ifs"

Big hugs

Joy xx

I am happy to hear that you have finished your treatment now too.  Congratulations.  Like you I have all my appointments booked in with surgeon, oncologist, phsyiotherapist port flush.  It has been decided that I will be have bilateral mastectomy in late Sept or October so I have a ways to go yet.  Like you every little twinge I feel a little anxious and my radiation specialist gave me the same advice.  He also said to remember that they got all the cancer at surgery and now I should confidently get about living.  I was fine with that idea on the day but since then have wondered how I go about doing that.  lol  I am sure life will take care of itself and as we feel better physically we will take on more activities eg. I want to go back to work and have social life again.

Take care Bobbie

Joy xx

 

Hi Cis

Thank you for taking the time to post your lovely words and I wish you all the best as you come to the end of your radiation.

We will find a way, I am sure, of getting on with life.

Best wishes.

Joy xx

I agree that the only people who understand are our pink sisters.  I am sorry that you have been diagnosed with another illness and hope that you will get that sorted out quickly. 

We do make it through and it is a choice on how we do that.  I just have to keep reminding myself of that fact.

Take care

Joy xx

Thank you for being honest about how you feel 7 months post treatment.  It does help to know that my thoughts and feelings are to be expected.  Thank you too for pointing me in the direction of Meg's post.  It was very helpful and reminded me to get back to keeping my Gratitutde Journal going.  I must admit I had let that slip.  Being grateful for all the beauty around me is important too and I went out with my camera yesterday afternoon.  Came back very tired but happy.

Take care

Joy xx

 

First of all,congratulations on getting through all your treatment!The way you are feeling is perfectly normal.All of a sudden you don't have that reassurance that comes with regular visits because of treatment days.It is a strange feeling,and I found myself looking forward to my first oncology appointment,and first surgeons checkup.I can say that I most definitely am feeling better now than I was after my treatment first finished,but it has taken me about 4 or 5 months to get to this point.I think that this blog can be really helpful at the point you are at now.Not only does it link you with others who are feeling the same,but now is a good time to give advice to others who are just starting out on their journey.Be gentle on yourself Joy,you have been through a lot.Stay in touch won't you.XoxCheers Robyn

I have just finished my radiation last week...I also have the feelings of "What now?" 

Life certainly just fall neatly back into place, and it certainly isn't the same as before. I secretly feel that people who know me are waiting for this big inspirational life change - as though cancer answers all of life's questions and everything suddenly becomes clear. I feel like saying that I'm still the same person I was before, complete with the same issues, worries and insecurities. Topped off by some new ones! Oh joy.

Medically, I also feel like I'm left flapping in the breeze a bit...I no longer have a breast care nurse as mine got a promotion into another area, and nobody bothered to contact me about her replacement. Given, I didn't ask about it either, but it all happened between chemo and radiation, and I guess I thought I could do without. Looking back, I wish I had followed up. 

I've booked in for all my follow up appointments already - surgeon, oncologist, port flushing and radiation oncologist. Even though they aren't coming up soon, at least I know they're coming. I'm starting to also notice every little ache and pain - the sort of thing that before cancer, I would have just ignored -  but I had some good advice from the radiation oncologist about that. She said if anything is still hanging around after 3 weeks, then get it checked out. Considering the amount of chemicals and radiation I've just had, I figure there's a pretty low chance of anything happening that shouldn't. 

I think keeping busy and mentally occupied is the best thing to combat all this - I'm currently unemployed and trying desperately to get a job as I think having to learn a new job, put together with some long overdue social interaction will do me the world of good. For me, unless I'm busy, I get bored, then I start to think about things...that leads to dwelling, over-analyzing and depression! Of course, I'm not just ignoring everything important, I still have moments of pondering all the cancer related stuff, but I'm trying to be more in control of it, instead of it controlling me, as it was for a while there. 

I've heard that it gets better over time...fingers crossed! At least from here you can see that you aren't alone. I think everyone has this kind of "separation anxiety" in some form or another! 

Take care, from Bobbie

I think what you are feeling is shared by a lot of us at the end of treatment. I find even now 7 months after I finished chemo and radiotherapy, that I have trouble looking too far into the future. It is very difficult to have confidence in your health when we have the threat of recurrence shadowing our every move. I feel almost superstitious about getting too carried away with feeling good again! Have you read Meg's post, Happy Anniversary Baby (positive3negative)? This post really helped me to feel better about what we go through and how it feels when you get to the end of treatment. She has a great way of looking at it and some of her ideas about looking for things to be grateful for and noticing the good things are a terrific way to help yourself feel more positive. I've noticed a difference in myself since reading it. Don't be too hard on yourself. It takes time to sort out all those feelings and find your new way of living, your new purpose to life. I was just so exhausted at the end of radio (I think our body is working so hard to try and repair the internal damage) it took me a good month to feel more positive. I found using this network the best therapy for me and it helps to feel you might make a difference to someone else's day. Keep in touch and let your body heal both physically and mentally. Take care. Deanne xxx