What now?

I think what you are feeling is shared by a lot of us at the end of treatment. I find even now 7 months after I finished chemo and radiotherapy, that I have trouble looking too far into the future. It is very difficult to have confidence in your health when we have the threat of recurrence shadowing our every move. I feel almost superstitious about getting too carried away with feeling good again! Have you read Meg's post, Happy Anniversary Baby (positive3negative)? This post really helped me to feel better about what we go through and how it feels when you get to the end of treatment. She has a great way of looking at it and some of her ideas about looking for things to be grateful for and noticing the good things are a terrific way to help yourself feel more positive. I've noticed a difference in myself since reading it. Don't be too hard on yourself. It takes time to sort out all those feelings and find your new way of living, your new purpose to life. I was just so exhausted at the end of radio (I think our body is working so hard to try and repair the internal damage) it took me a good month to feel more positive. I found using this network the best therapy for me and it helps to feel you might make a difference to someone else's day. Keep in touch and let your body heal both physically and mentally. Take care. Deanne xxx