Forum Discussion
Positive but fearful at the same time
Hello
I am 45yrs old and was diagnosed with triple negative early breast cancer in May, had a lumpectomy, 4 nodes removed with all 4 clear. I have started my chemo journey, due for my 2nd 3 weekly treatment next week. After 6 treatments I will start radiotherapy. It has been 2 weeks and after cutting my long hair short, I am starting to lose it.
I have so much to learn but most pressing for me now is on my pathology report under grading it states 3BER. Does anyone know what BER means? It is a question I have listed to ask oncologist but if someone knows online in would be grateful to know.
I lost my husband to cancer 2-1/2yrs ago, he was 40yrs of age. I have 2 beautiful children 12 & 14 who need me so there is no way I can lose this fight.
I am pleased to have joined this network and hope to gain strength from the stories of real women going through their own journeys while supporting one another. Thank you.
12 Replies
- Thank you Foxs Lady.... Treatment 4 next week with only 2 to go! Yay! Your suggestions have been most helpful, thank you. Chellemac
- Thank you Foxs Lady.... Treatment 4 next week with only 2 to go! Yay! Your suggestions have been most helpful, thank you. Chellemac
- Oh Renee, we most certainly sound like we are on the same road. I have been off line for a little while dealing not with the physical side which after my 3rd treatment has not been too bad, but the emotional and mental strain took its toll in the last week. I have been SO sad... angry and just on an extreme emotional roller coaster. I am lucky I have a new partner in my life who unfortunately jumped on my bus and found himself embroiled in this difficult journey with me. He has been my rock and how he has coped with my turmoil lately is anyone's guess. I am trying to pull myself out of it before heading into treatment 4 next week. And after that only 2 to go! Yay! Hang in there Renee, we can hold each other's hand and walk through this together if you like? Please feel free to contact me should you need. I most definitely will understand where you are and how you might be feeling. X x
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.
I had no idea what triple negative meant.
Dr Google will terrify you.
Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.
I had severe chemo brain.
Do brain exercises.
Write lists.
Keep notes.
A small seven day display diary helps.
A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.
Ask questions.
Get copies of all of your reports..........
Stay focused on your future.
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.
I had no idea what triple negative meant.
Dr Google will terrify you.
Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.
I had severe chemo brain.
Do brain exercises.
Write lists.
Keep notes.
A small seven day display diary helps.
A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.
Ask questions.
Get copies of all of your reports..........
Stay focused on your future.
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.
I had no idea what triple negative meant.
Dr Google will terrify you.
Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.
I had severe chemo brain.
Do brain exercises.
Write lists.
Keep notes.
A small seven day display diary helps.
A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.
Ask questions.
Get copies of all of your reports..........
Stay focused on your future.
Oh Chelle - what a lovely thing for your daughter to do for you! What a special girl she is! I certainly found support and love come from the most unexpected places - as well as my family. People I barely knew, went out of their way to reach out to me, bring flowers and food and generally touch base to check that I was going OK. Conversely, some friends just couldn't deal with it at all and avoided me. Embrace the love and accept others' reactions as well meaning, even if sometimes they miss the mark!!
One step in front of the other - we are all here virtually to hold your hand.
Love Alison
Ohh girls thank you so much for all your feedback! I knew there were a lot of women out there on this journey but until you take the path yourself you never REALLY understand. I see so many of us now, I notice others all the time where once I would just walk straight past, I now try to make eye contact and give that knowing smile. Alison you were right the BER is to do with the cells. I met with my radiologist for the first time last week and he gave me a thorough understanding of staging & grading. I left feeling so much more positive. My 2nd chemo treatment was last week and it was tougher for me to recover this time but I have come good in the last couple of days. The emotion I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I have to tell you though my beautiful 12 year old daughter gave me a gift last night. She had made me a pretty jar called "Happy Thoughts" and filled it with little hand written notes. The rules are that when I am feeling down I take a little note from the jar and read the happy thought! It bought tears to my eyes..... I am trying to walk as often as possible, drink plenty of water and rest when my body tells me to. The next treatment is the halfway point for chemo YAY !! Then 3 to go... I try not to think too far ahead and just take each treatment one at a time. Again my new found friends, thank you for your encouraging comments and support, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel and life will return to a different more postive normality is encouraging. Chelle x x x x x x
Ohh girls thank you so much for all your feedback! I knew there were a lot of women out there on this journey but until you take the path yourself you never REALLY understand. I see so many of us now, I notice others all the time where once I would just walk straight past, I now try to make eye contact and give that knowing smile. Alison you were right the BER is to do with the cells. I met with my radiologist for the first time last week and he gave me a thorough understanding of staging & grading. I left feeling so much more positive. My 2nd chemo treatment was last week and it was tougher for me to recover this time but I have come good in the last couple of days. The emotion I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I have to tell you though my beautiful 12 year old daughter gave me a gift last night. She had made me a pretty jar called "Happy Thoughts" and filled it with little hand written notes. The rules are that when I am feeling down I take a little note from the jar and read the happy thought! It bought tears to my eyes..... I am trying to walk as often as possible, drink plenty of water and rest when my body tells me to. The next treatment is the halfway point for chemo YAY !! Then 3 to go... I try not to think too far ahead and just take each treatment one at a time. Again my new found friends, thank you for your encouraging comments and support, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel and life will return to a different more postive normality is encouraging. Chelle x x x x x x
- Hi gorgeous lady, my sincerest thoughts are with you and your children. It's hard enough without not having your partner, and it's association. Ensure you allow everything that will help you, if your comfortable your children will be.. Make lists for everything, it's so easy to forget, one of the things I found extremely frustrating, still do.. Your strength will come from your children, mine did - one step at a time. The girls are all here for you. Hugs and kisses to you and your family.. Alex Xxx
