Hello I am 45yrs old and was diagnosed with triple negative early breast cancer in May, had a lumpectomy, 4 nodes removed with all 4 clear. I have started my chemo journey, due for my 2nd 3 weekly treatment next week. After 6 treatments I will start radiotherapy. It has been 2 weeks and after cutting my long hair short, I am starting to lose it. I have so much to learn but most pressing for me now is on my pathology report under grading it states 3BER. Does anyone know what BER means? It is a question I have listed to ask oncologist but if someone knows online in would be grateful to know. I lost my husband to cancer 2-1/2yrs ago, he was 40yrs of age. I have 2 beautiful children 12 & 14 who need me so there is no way I can lose this fight. I am pleased to have joined this network and hope to gain strength from the stories of real women going through their own journeys while supporting one another. Thank you.

Hi Chellmac, I am not sure what BER means - but TNBC is usually detected at grade 3 due to its rapidly-growing nature. By all means ask the oncologist, but it will probably refer to the type of cells that are observed under the microscope and will have no bearing on your treatment or prognosis. The fact that all your nodes were clear is an excellent sign and one thing we know is that TNBC is responsive to chemo! Stay positive and find someone you can vent to if you need to. I have found that the breast care nurse has been fantastic. I had a bilateral mastectomy last October and finished chemo at the end of March this year. My hair is quite thick again - but is growing back curly!! Also grey, but as I am 56, I feel I have earned every single one of those!! There is light at the end of the tunnel, but take one step at a time and be kind to yourself along the way. Alison

Welcome to the group, I'm sure you would rather not participate, however it is what it is and you will get loads of support from the Group. I was diagnosed with TNBC in November 2013 and finished chemo in April this year. I opted for a mastectomy and have just had the other breast removed two weeks ago with expanders (ready for implants). The onset this journey is very daunting, but it is doable, the only way through it, is through it, you will come out the other end forever changed. Try to drink lots of water during your treatment and stay away from Google, the research on line is dated and our prognosis is far more positive these days. Stay strong and if you need vent on this forum, we've all been there and may be able to help.

Hi gorgeous lady, my sincerest thoughts are with you and your children. It's hard enough without not having your partner, and it's association. Ensure you allow everything that will help you, if your comfortable your children will be.. Make lists for everything, it's so easy to forget, one of the things I found extremely frustrating, still do.. Your strength will come from your children, mine did - one step at a time. The girls are all here for you. Hugs and kisses to you and your family.. Alex Xxx

Ohh girls thank you so much for all your feedback! I knew there were a lot of women out there on this journey but until you take the path yourself you never REALLY understand. I see so many of us now, I notice others all the time where once I would just walk straight past, I now try to make eye contact and give that knowing smile. Alison you were right the BER is to do with the cells. I met with my radiologist for the first time last week and he gave me a thorough understanding of staging & grading. I left feeling so much more positive. My 2nd chemo treatment was last week and it was tougher for me to recover this time but I have come good in the last couple of days. The emotion I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I have to tell you though my beautiful 12 year old daughter gave me a gift last night. She had made me a pretty jar called "Happy Thoughts" and filled it with little hand written notes. The rules are that when I am feeling down I take a little note from the jar and read the happy thought! It bought tears to my eyes..... I am trying to walk as often as possible, drink plenty of water and rest when my body tells me to. The next treatment is the halfway point for chemo YAY !! Then 3 to go... I try not to think too far ahead and just take each treatment one at a time. Again my new found friends, thank you for your encouraging comments and support, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel and life will return to a different more postive normality is encouraging. Chelle x x x x x x

Positive but fearful at the same time

Chellemac
Member
11 years ago
Thank you Foxs Lady.... Treatment 4 next week with only 2 to go! Yay! Your suggestions have been most helpful, thank you. Chellemac
Chellemac
Member
11 years ago
Thank you Foxs Lady.... Treatment 4 next week with only 2 to go! Yay! Your suggestions have been most helpful, thank you. Chellemac
Chellemac
Member
11 years ago
Oh Renee, we most certainly sound like we are on the same road. I have been off line for a little while dealing not with the physical side which after my 3rd treatment has not been too bad, but the emotional and mental strain took its toll in the last week. I have been SO sad... angry and just on an extreme emotional roller coaster. I am lucky I have a new partner in my life who unfortunately jumped on my bus and found himself embroiled in this difficult journey with me. He has been my rock and how he has coped with my turmoil lately is anyone's guess. I am trying to pull myself out of it before heading into treatment 4 next week. And after that only 2 to go! Yay! Hang in there Renee, we can hold each other's hand and walk through this together if you like? Please feel free to contact me should you need. I most definitely will understand where you are and how you might be feeling. X x
the_Foxs_lady
Member
11 years ago
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.

I had no idea what triple negative meant.

Dr Google will terrify you.

Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.

I had severe chemo brain.

Do brain exercises.

Write lists.

Keep notes.

A small seven day display diary helps.

A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.

Ask questions.

Get copies of all of your reports..........

Stay focused on your future.
the_Foxs_lady
Member
11 years ago
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.

I had no idea what triple negative meant.

Dr Google will terrify you.

Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.

I had severe chemo brain.

Do brain exercises.

Write lists.

Keep notes.

A small seven day display diary helps.

A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.

Ask questions.

Get copies of all of your reports..........

Stay focused on your future.
the_Foxs_lady
Member
11 years ago
I found out my diagnosis from the receptionist at the oncologist's office.

I had no idea what triple negative meant.

Dr Google will terrify you.

Understanding the difference between GRADE of cancer (we are usually grade 3 when the tumour is found because of its fast growing nature) and STAGE of cancer is important.

I had severe chemo brain.

Do brain exercises.

Write lists.

Keep notes.

A small seven day display diary helps.

A book that you carry with you with everything in it is essential...somehow try and carry a pen to as that helps heaps.

Ask questions.

Get copies of all of your reports..........

Stay focused on your future.
AlisonMew
Member
11 years ago
Oh Chelle - what a lovely thing for your daughter to do for you! What a special girl she is! I certainly found support and love come from the most unexpected places - as well as my family. People I barely knew, went out of their way to reach out to me, bring flowers and food and generally touch base to check that I was going OK. Conversely, some friends just couldn't deal with it at all and avoided me. Embrace the love and accept others' reactions as well meaning, even if sometimes they miss the mark!!

One step in front of the other - we are all here virtually to hold your hand.

Love Alison
Chellemac
Member
11 years ago
Ohh girls thank you so much for all your feedback! I knew there were a lot of women out there on this journey but until you take the path yourself you never REALLY understand. I see so many of us now, I notice others all the time where once I would just walk straight past, I now try to make eye contact and give that knowing smile. Alison you were right the BER is to do with the cells. I met with my radiologist for the first time last week and he gave me a thorough understanding of staging & grading. I left feeling so much more positive. My 2nd chemo treatment was last week and it was tougher for me to recover this time but I have come good in the last couple of days. The emotion I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I have to tell you though my beautiful 12 year old daughter gave me a gift last night. She had made me a pretty jar called "Happy Thoughts" and filled it with little hand written notes. The rules are that when I am feeling down I take a little note from the jar and read the happy thought! It bought tears to my eyes..... I am trying to walk as often as possible, drink plenty of water and rest when my body tells me to. The next treatment is the halfway point for chemo YAY !! Then 3 to go... I try not to think too far ahead and just take each treatment one at a time. Again my new found friends, thank you for your encouraging comments and support, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel and life will return to a different more postive normality is encouraging. Chelle x x x x x x
Chellemac
Member
11 years ago
Ohh girls thank you so much for all your feedback! I knew there were a lot of women out there on this journey but until you take the path yourself you never REALLY understand. I see so many of us now, I notice others all the time where once I would just walk straight past, I now try to make eye contact and give that knowing smile. Alison you were right the BER is to do with the cells. I met with my radiologist for the first time last week and he gave me a thorough understanding of staging & grading. I left feeling so much more positive. My 2nd chemo treatment was last week and it was tougher for me to recover this time but I have come good in the last couple of days. The emotion I feel sometimes is overwhelming. I have to tell you though my beautiful 12 year old daughter gave me a gift last night. She had made me a pretty jar called "Happy Thoughts" and filled it with little hand written notes. The rules are that when I am feeling down I take a little note from the jar and read the happy thought! It bought tears to my eyes..... I am trying to walk as often as possible, drink plenty of water and rest when my body tells me to. The next treatment is the halfway point for chemo YAY !! Then 3 to go... I try not to think too far ahead and just take each treatment one at a time. Again my new found friends, thank you for your encouraging comments and support, knowing there is light at the end of the tunnel and life will return to a different more postive normality is encouraging. Chelle x x x x x x
Alex_G
Member
11 years ago
Hi gorgeous lady, my sincerest thoughts are with you and your children. It's hard enough without not having your partner, and it's association. Ensure you allow everything that will help you, if your comfortable your children will be.. Make lists for everything, it's so easy to forget, one of the things I found extremely frustrating, still do.. Your strength will come from your children, mine did - one step at a time. The girls are all here for you. Hugs and kisses to you and your family.. Alex Xxx