Impact on our families

adean
adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
edited August 2014 in Health and wellbeing
Hi all , I thought BC was tough , but I can say my family and I had possibly the worst 2 weeks of my life. My 20 year old daughter ended up in the Psyciatric ward, my beautiful intelligent child who showered me when I came home from hospital the one who changed my dressings , the one who told everyone what's wrong mum is not going to die! Everything for my innocent one became to much, now it's not just the BC but other things as well, but a lot of stuff about me and BC has emerged, I need to be like mum and be strong . I've now told her I hid a lot never showed my crying or weakness, but kept it to myself. The impact of things we do. My heart breaks for her but she is home now and I'm staying home with her. Taking time to re evaluate what's important I cannot cry because this emotion is so gut wrenching I don't think there are tears there. I just wanted to say watch those around you don't always be the tough warrior woman like me, sometimes it's ok to be vulnerable. Adean
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Comments

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Adean,I feel terribly sad reading this.You are so right though,that those around us kind of get left to deal with their own emotions as everyone is trying to look after the one with 'CANCER!!' Deanne posted on her blog a similar thing a while ago now,about the impact on family members.I am really sorry to hear about your daughter.At least now that you know all this,you can slowly share with her and care for her.Our girls are strong,andI feel sure that you will all come out the other end of this stronger and wiser:) You are so right about being vulnerable.When I was diagnosed,my husband was overseas.My precious,PRECIOUS daughter,took on the role of carer in every sense of the word.She cared for me,and she cared for our 5 foster children.She never cried,and the only time that I saw a glimpse of tears,was when I would cry and she would comfort me.Her tears would well up,but she would blink them away.We have become so much closer since my BC,and I notice that we talk and share a lot more than we ever did.I will be forever grateful to her .Take care of your daughter Adean,and you will get through this.Thinking of you.xoxRobyn
  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836 ✭
    edited March 2015

    So sorry to hear about your daughter.She sounds like a beautiful soul and with you by her side,I'm sure she'll be ok.We all take turns at being vulnerable at some stage in our lives but with family love and support,we get strong again. I'm guilty of being brave in front of my kids and my mum- don't know why we do it-must be a "mother"thing.Our hearts are in the right place as we are hoping to spare them of too much grief.Blame cancer but not yourself.Hope all goes well for both of you in the coming weeks.Big hug,Tonya xx

  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015

    My heart breaks for you beautiful Adean.  The last time I saw you life was so different.  We were all so happy and heading off to happiness.  Our children are part of us so if we are who we are then they get some of that.  You now have each other to share your strengths between.  No one to take the whole load - just share.  I shield my daughters and sisters from this disease.  If I can do everything then I must be well.  I will continue to do this as long as I can.  Every so often it hits me in the face.  I am sending you hugs, joy and anything you need lovely Adean because you deserve good.  Hug your daughter as hard as you can - hugs are such healers. XLeonie

  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Thanks you lovely friends, your kind words are appreciated this week it's just been my daughter and me we cleaned out her room and found some hilarious books and drawings she did in prep , we laughed that hard we cried, my other daughter arrived home to think we had lost our brains but she to joined in and we were all soon cackling ourselves. My husband said its so good to hear her laugh, we must be making some progress. A positive is that she has been accepted to go to Africa next year as a volunteer in the orphanage also with uni mate, she is looking forward to that,I'm sure I will worry but I'm excited for her, it's always hard to let go. Love to you all adean xx
  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Thanks you lovely friends, your kind words are appreciated this week it's just been my daughter and me we cleaned out her room and found some hilarious books and drawings she did in prep , we laughed that hard we cried, my other daughter arrived home to think we had lost our brains but she to joined in and we were all soon cackling ourselves. My husband said its so good to hear her laugh, we must be making some progress. A positive is that she has been accepted to go to Africa next year as a volunteer in the orphanage also with uni mate, she is looking forward to that,I'm sure I will worry but I'm excited for her, it's always hard to let go. Love to you all adean xx
  • Lis
    Lis Member Posts: 16
    edited March 2015
    Hi Adean
    You are such a beautiful person.
    Take care of yourself
    Cheers Lissy
  • Lis
    Lis Member Posts: 16
    edited March 2015
    Hi Adean
    You are such a beautiful person.
    Take care of yourself
    Cheers Lissy
  • Lis
    Lis Member Posts: 16
    edited March 2015
    Hi Adean
    You are such a beautiful person.
    Take care of yourself
    Cheers Lissy
  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015

    XXXXXXXXLeonie

  • Leonie Moore
    Leonie Moore Member Posts: 1,470 ✭
    edited March 2015

    My 10 foot tall and bullet proof husband now sees a Psychologist!!!!XLeonie

  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Thankyou my beautiful Leonie. We need to try and continue to be tough don't we. I try not to think about all the horrible horrible things in this world and tend to keep to a close group of beautiful family and friends. I can't stand listening or reading news. We have enough to contend with in our own lil world.
    I am so lucky I have my precious daughter and granddaughter as they keep my life special. I haven't seen my other grandees for months which is my son and daughter inlaws punishment for something that happened 16 years ago. Which is so sad.

    Let me know how you are doing huny.

    Thank you for your very special wishes.

    We are also very lucky we have each other and all our beautiful pink sisters in our life

    Mich xoxo
  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Mich,I am so sorry that you have pain.I,hope,it can be resolved quickly.I don't listen to the news either.Life is too short to be miserable isn't it? Take care Mich,and I hope things improve really soon.xoxRobyn
  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Thank you Robyn for your luvly well wishes. I hope the doc gets the report from my recent test tomorrow. It has been a long weekend for us over here so more waiting. I am used to waiting these days though like we all are. I think we just continue to get on with things as best we can.
    I Hope u r doing okay huny.
    Luv always, Mich xixo
  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Hope your news is good waiting waiting it never gets easier. Love and hugs . Adean
  • Mich x
    Mich x Member Posts: 1,530 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Fanx precious Adean
    luv always Mich xoxo

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