Sick again!
Well hello ladies, I last posted 11/2 after my 2nd last chemo (Docetaxol). Thought I would keep you updated with my proactive plan. Had the chemo on the Tuesday, came down off the steroids on the Thurs night, Friday comes and the aches and pains are there, with Panadol they are manageable, rash came but not itchy and irratable with the help of anti-histamines, so far so good:) Saturday morning and everything went to crap. Neck muscles were so bad I couldn't hold my head up, I went to bed waking periodically to take meds. After 2 hours sleep, woke up and my mouth was full of thrush even though I had been rinsing religiously. Felt like I had a furry animal in my throat. Started Nilstat and then my throat starts to ache, so started liquid morphine as well. I was so upset that I cried and cried and my partner stayed by my side with a tear as well. I have kept my fluids up so I'm not dehydrated, just oh so sick. This drug doesn't like me at all. Now it's Monday and I am sitting here blogging while drinking a bottle of water, wondering how in the world I can do this one more time. I know I need to finish this chemo, but the thought of getting sick again next month makes me cry again. 'One day at a time'. I keep saying it but I just don't know if I'm strong enough. I have been forcing food down, so tasteless. Don't want another stay in hospital. I never did think I was strong enough, then I thought, yes, I am. Now in the middle of all this, I just don't know anymore. Am I a sook? How have all you wonderful ladies done this? I'm just feeling really sad, but I do wish that you are all well,
Hazel xx
Comments
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You are bringing back all my bad memories of Docetaxel. It is tough going and I remember feeling so awful and wondering how I would get through. I suffered from oral thrush the whole time nearly and had to just constantly use the Nilstat.
I used to be so weak with the muscle aches that I could not stand long enough to get myself a slice of toast. But you just keep getting through each day as best as you can and eventually you get there. I felt like one of those marathon runners that can barely get over the finish line before they rush in with the stretcher, all wonky but determined to get there.
It is hard on your loved ones too, having to watch and unable to really do anything to help. I remember laying down, eyes closed and talking with my sister or Mum on the phone because I could not do anything else. My eyes were too sore to watch TV or read. That was when my throat allowed me to talk! But you do get past this and feel better. I just so appreciate feeling well again and I am really glad that I did the chemo to give myself the best chance of staying well.
Hope the next few days pass quickly for you and that you have a few days of feeling better this round. You are nearly there but I totally understand the feeling that it is too hard. I remember telling people that yes I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but that I knew it was a freight train that would run me over before I could get to the fresh air! Sending you lots of gentle hugs. Deanne xxxxoooo0 -
You are bringing back all my bad memories of Docetaxel. It is tough going and I remember feeling so awful and wondering how I would get through. I suffered from oral thrush the whole time nearly and had to just constantly use the Nilstat.
I used to be so weak with the muscle aches that I could not stand long enough to get myself a slice of toast. But you just keep getting through each day as best as you can and eventually you get there. I felt like one of those marathon runners that can barely get over the finish line before they rush in with the stretcher, all wonky but determined to get there.
It is hard on your loved ones too, having to watch and unable to really do anything to help. I remember laying down, eyes closed and talking with my sister or Mum on the phone because I could not do anything else. My eyes were too sore to watch TV or read. That was when my throat allowed me to talk! But you do get past this and feel better. I just so appreciate feeling well again and I am really glad that I did the chemo to give myself the best chance of staying well.
Hope the next few days pass quickly for you and that you have a few days of feeling better this round. You are nearly there but I totally understand the feeling that it is too hard. I remember telling people that yes I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but that I knew it was a freight train that would run me over before I could get to the fresh air! Sending you lots of gentle hugs. Deanne xxxxoooo0 -
You are bringing back all my bad memories of Docetaxel. It is tough going and I remember feeling so awful and wondering how I would get through. I suffered from oral thrush the whole time nearly and had to just constantly use the Nilstat.
I used to be so weak with the muscle aches that I could not stand long enough to get myself a slice of toast. But you just keep getting through each day as best as you can and eventually you get there. I felt like one of those marathon runners that can barely get over the finish line before they rush in with the stretcher, all wonky but determined to get there.
It is hard on your loved ones too, having to watch and unable to really do anything to help. I remember laying down, eyes closed and talking with my sister or Mum on the phone because I could not do anything else. My eyes were too sore to watch TV or read. That was when my throat allowed me to talk! But you do get past this and feel better. I just so appreciate feeling well again and I am really glad that I did the chemo to give myself the best chance of staying well.
Hope the next few days pass quickly for you and that you have a few days of feeling better this round. You are nearly there but I totally understand the feeling that it is too hard. I remember telling people that yes I could see the light at the end of the tunnel but that I knew it was a freight train that would run me over before I could get to the fresh air! Sending you lots of gentle hugs. Deanne xxxxoooo0 -
Thinking of you Hazel. I haven't started the chemo yet but you are an inspiration to me and others so hang in there! Take care and lots of hugs.
Tanya x
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What a rough time you are having through this. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Like you I have one to go. Feels like the last Doxytaxol battle. Staying focused on the other side and trying not to look back. The weakness is horrid and I have eaten jars of honey to keep the thrush and sore throats at bay. We are nearly there Hazel. Hang in there.
Thinking of you
Julie0 -
Aw Hazel I am feeling so sad for you.As you know,I didn't go too bad on Docetaxel,but I definitely remember the weakness and the terrible mouth stuff.Just a thought,but when I got that awful rash that you are talking about I also took anti histamine.However,I can remember my oncologist saying that I could stay on steroids longer,and that would probably help me feel a lot better.I just thought its worth asking your doc,seeing as though you just have to get through one more.You WILL get through this Hazel,and very soon,you will be starting to feel much better.Hang in there Hazel,we are all cheering you on!!! Big hug from me.xoxoxoxRobyn0
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Aw Hazel I am feeling so sad for you.As you know,I didn't go too bad on Docetaxel,but I definitely remember the weakness and the terrible mouth stuff.Just a thought,but when I got that awful rash that you are talking about I also took anti histamine.However,I can remember my oncologist saying that I could stay on steroids longer,and that would probably help me feel a lot better.I just thought its worth asking your doc,seeing as though you just have to get through one more.You WILL get through this Hazel,and very soon,you will be starting to feel much better.Hang in there Hazel,we are all cheering you on!!! Big hug from me.xoxoxoxRobyn0
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Aw Hazel I am feeling so sad for you.As you know,I didn't go too bad on Docetaxel,but I definitely remember the weakness and the terrible mouth stuff.Just a thought,but when I got that awful rash that you are talking about I also took anti histamine.However,I can remember my oncologist saying that I could stay on steroids longer,and that would probably help me feel a lot better.I just thought its worth asking your doc,seeing as though you just have to get through one more.You WILL get through this Hazel,and very soon,you will be starting to feel much better.Hang in there Hazel,we are all cheering you on!!! Big hug from me.xoxoxoxRobyn0
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I feel your pain. I too had the bloody awful oral thrush. I used to drink those yakult drinks x2 every day after each chemo, think they really helped. I had the aches but somehow struggled through.
One to go girlfriend. Cheering you on.
Hang in there.
Paula x0 -
Hang in there Hazel. Thinking of you. It's nearly finished, stay strong.0
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Hang in there Hazel. Thinking of you. It's nearly finished, stay strong.0
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Hang in there Hazel. Thinking of you. It's nearly finished, stay strong.0
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You can do it girl! I have similar symptoms to you all over again. You know I stupidly thought that I wasn't going to get any side effects this time around. I had the docetaxol last Wednesday and nothing until Sunday morning. Intense bone pain, throat inflammed, moody and a lot sleepier this time around. Kids are at school so at least I can sleep during the day. I have found chemo tough and can't wait until it is over. I am so sorry to hear you are in pain, take comfort in knowing that I am out here suffering with you. It is tough mentally knowing that we will probably go through these symptoms again but it is only ONE MORE TIME. We are going to cross that line together and never look back!
Big hugs XO
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You can do it girl! I have similar symptoms to you all over again. You know I stupidly thought that I wasn't going to get any side effects this time around. I had the docetaxol last Wednesday and nothing until Sunday morning. Intense bone pain, throat inflammed, moody and a lot sleepier this time around. Kids are at school so at least I can sleep during the day. I have found chemo tough and can't wait until it is over. I am so sorry to hear you are in pain, take comfort in knowing that I am out here suffering with you. It is tough mentally knowing that we will probably go through these symptoms again but it is only ONE MORE TIME. We are going to cross that line together and never look back!
Big hugs XO
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I believe that you were one of the first to contact me on this website, and I always appreciate your advice. I'm just so emotional at the moment, but I'm sitting up again, that's got to be good. I know in my heart that i would never forgive myself if I didn't finish this chemo. You made it through, maybe I can, thank you for the hugs,
Hazel xx
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