It’s a balancing act.

scram
scram Member Posts: 13 ✭
in Newly diagnosed
Hello, after a whirlwind 6 weeks of tests, scans etc. I have been diagnosed with stage 3 high grade left breast carcinoma with auxiliary node metastasis, oestrogen and progesterone positive.  To say it’s been a shock is an understatement especially after recently having 10 year all clear of a previous cancer. I have recently undergone surgery and feeling uncomfortable and frustrated as I am normally very active and involved in the community.  I guess I don’t know what to do, how to feel. Isn’t it interesting how some people are so supportive and caring and others avoid you almost like they are scared to catch something.  How do I manage my caring of elderly parents and supporting children with young families, plus an overwhelmed husband. 
I am 64, turning 65 next week, treatment at Wonthaggi hospital. 
Thank goodness for my wonderful daughter. 

Comments

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,197 ✭
    I am So sorry to see you joining us here, @scram  - and particularly bad luck with the 2nd cancer diagnosis. :(   Was it a totally different cancer, the first one?  I am guessing you may be having chemo as well as possible radiation?  Is there pain related to your Mets?  Are they in the bone?   Has Immunotherapy been mentioned yet, by your Oncologist?  Enhertu is a relatively new treatment to BC Mets - and some of our members have had great results from it, so worth mentioning if it hasn’t been raised already.

    OK … first up - you need to put YOU first just now - see if you can share the responsibility of caring for your parents amongst other siblings (or contact MyAgedCare to arrange Community Home Support for things like cleaning & mowing, even meal preparation.)   That is terrific that your daughter is so supportive.  I hope your husband also becomes more supportive once he is over the shock of the diagnosis.  :(   Yes, it is amazing how some people disappear with a health crisis, yet others step up to the plate & are totally supportive.  Many of us have forged good friendships here in BCNA & even met up for coffee & chat.  If you add your general location to your profile, members living nearby may be able to point you to specific services available to you nearby xx

    Being active (physically and in the community) will need to be reduced just now, as you recover from your surgery - so no housework/washing/picking up kids or pets - until after you’ve seen your surgeon & he gives you the OK to slowly get back into the more physical stuff.  What surgery did you have?  Was it a lumpectomy or mastectomy? Was there reconstruction? 

    Check out this post for some general info on the Forum ….  We have a few ‘off topic’ threads that you may like to add to - our gardens, art & craft, even some ‘funnies’ (we all need a giggle now & then!)  Also, there are some ‘tick sheets’ down the bottom to ‘self assess’ your mental & physical health …. 

    Try & maintain some sort of ‘normalcy’ tho - doing things that you ARE able to do post op … be it art or walking (gently at first & not huge distances until you get clearance from your surgeon.)

    Take care & all the best - if you feel a tad overwhelmed at any time, give our Helpline a call on 1800 500 258 to have a chat … have you been assigned a Breast Care Nurse yet?  They will also be your first ‘port of call’ for queries - stay away from Dr Google -  much of it is outdated & is irrelevant to your own diagnosis & can just scare the pants off you xx. Get all your info from ‘trusted sources’ …. Your medical team, BC nurse or ‘here’!  ;) 

  • sunrise_sunset
    sunrise_sunset Member Posts: 23 ✭
    Hello @scram,
    It is indeed a balancing act. I'm fairly new here and have a similar diagnosis and story to yours. Left breast, early breast cancer grade 3, hormone positive and I had been just over 5 years clear from any testing of a previous cancer. I'm just over 2 weeks post surgery, very much in the discomfort zone. So I get your shock, disappointment and frustration.
    The group is very welcoming and helpful. I'm at the one day at a time, do what I can do for the day and if I make it out of bed great, if I don't there is always tomorrow. As @arpie has mentioned, there are many resources. For me, I've started to see a specialist physiotherapist who will help with movement and avoiding Lymphedema and nerve cording. I also recommend the BCNA gentle pilates videos https://www.bcna.org.au/resource-hub/articles/strengthen-your-recovery-pilates-program/. All the best with your healing.
  • scram
    scram Member Posts: 13 ✭
    Thanks for the info. One week post surgery and in lots of discomfort and feeling very low. Definitely interested in Pilates when able, feels a long way off today. 
  • sunrise_sunset
    sunrise_sunset Member Posts: 23 ✭
    I know it is just words @scram but I can tell you that it does get better day by day. I'm just entering my fourth week post surgery (8 October) and still have feeling low days but also more and more those moments where I feel better. I hope you do begin to feel better soon.

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