My journey starts today.

TrishV

I am so glad I found this group today and already reading everyone's stories gives me so much comfort I have somewhere to go when lonely. I find online  chats good for me and maybe I might make some new friends to talk to and do things with.
I live in postcode 3201 Melbourne.
Nights already hard when partner is sleeping.
I am 55 years young and usually deal with things alone, that's just me, but will lean a little bit more on my very small support friends.
I visited my Surgeon today, its cancer she told me, have biopsy Tuesday, scans Monday. Lump too large to remove and I have very big boobies, so she said preferred chemo to shrink lump, then surgery, and radiation. 
I'm so scared of course, long journey ahead. Any other groups anyone can share with me would be appreciated. Anyone is welcome to reach out to me personally anytime.
Thanks for listening, probably sound abit all over the place emotionally.

Mareealso

Hi TrishV, Everyone is a bit all over the place on initial diagnosis! It's a real shock to the system! This site is wonderful for support as there is always someone who has walked your path and can give advice. I also had big boobs and ended up deciding mastectomy straight away...but I also have BRCA 2 diagnosis.. .Chemo will differ from person to person regarding side effects ...just be a really strong advocate for yourself if you have side effects as  there are medications of all types that help. Did your surgeon put you into contact with a Breast Care Nurse? If not, request it as they can be helpful although in some places they are thin on the ground...most of my contact was through SMS but she was still helpful and knowledgeable. You can also get lots of knowledge from this site as well. Wishing you all the best!

arpie

Great that you've found us & reached out @TrishV .... I didn't have chemo but plenty others have & not every one gets really crook & lose their hair xx.  Ask about a Cold Cap as it can reduce hair loss. (it may be a tad uncomfortable in winter tho!) 

You should be linked up with a Breast Care Nurse (McGrath or other)  and they will be a great support for you - as will this forum.

Whack up any question that you have - if you add them to this thread, it will sort of become a bit like a 'diary' of your active treatment.

Yep, it is a real rollercoaster ride, so buckle up!  xx. 

Jump onto this thread for some insight into the rest of the forum (we even have some funny threads, as god knows, we all need a laugh!  Some great comfort in the Wise Words too.    there are some 'tick sheets' at the end of it, re how you are going physically & mentally - as this bloody disease mucks with our brain even more than our body xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

take care & all the best for your appointments - consider recording them for future reference & also ask for copies of all your reports (printed or PDFs) as every time you see a specialist, they report back to your GP.  I keep all my blood tests too.   Get a BIG BOX .... and store all the paperwork in there - so you can find it & check it out later, if you need to   Take your hubby or bestie with you to your meetings, both as support and an extra set of ears.  It can be difficult to remember everything that was said ... hence the recordings  

Katie46

Hi Trish, it is all a bit unreal to begin with, I was diagnosed after a routine mammogram just before my 51st birthday, I had no idea anything was wrong. I was diagnosed with 2cm stage 2 grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with 1 lymph node involved. Because the cancer was aggressive I had a lumpectomy, chemo and will soon move on to  radiation and hormone therapy. Diagnosis and all the tests and appointments are a bit of a whirlwind, so take someone along with you if you can. If you have access to a McGrath Nurse get in contact with them, they've been such a help through my journey. I'm nearing the end of chemo, it's been manageable. If you've been reading other posts you'll  know that chemo side effects vary from person to person, but they are much better at managing them. Best wishes for your journey.

cranky_granny

@TrishV as everyone has given you the great advise. My plan after testing was exactly the same as yours
chemo to shrink the bugger. Then surgery then to get it out and radiation to hopefully mop up and i am  now on a lifetime of hormone blocking meds and oncology appointments 
I did loose my hair. Actually when I started shedding i got it all cut off. Im nit fussy person and definitely not vane about my appearance comfort is my go to. 

With treatment I did mostly everything I was told to do all the way along. 
During chemo i had someone with me each time. We would always take nibbles drinks etc and amuse ourselves with crossword puzzles. I went public from the start thankfully my main out of pocket has been the lack of income during it all 
now its the scripts and the other stuff that doesn’t come on script. Oh And the times I need to see Specialists in their rooms. Though now im officially on age pension the scripts are cheeper and some specialist give a reduced rate and bulk bill directly to medicare. So far I’ve been lucky that way

Check out the podcasts on here they are in layman’s language mostly. 

 Also sleep with most of us is hit and miss. I do relaxation therapy to go back to sleep though I reckon I need a new one the old one i think my brain is overriding it because I have been using it for so long 
keep us updated with how your going. And no question is too strange or dumb. Some have great knowledge and the rest of us can relate things from our own experiences. Its a balancing act of  out which might work for you. If one thing doesn’t work try out another

TrishV

Thank you lovely ladies. Gosh feeling a bot down today, is it normal to be sitting and just start crying, I know it is of course, comes in waves. 
I know I have a journey ahead and am a tough women, so I can only take one day at a time.
Scared at the moment of the results, but I have to believe no matter the result there is treatment, I know this.

arpie

It is 100% normal to feel sad or worried and anywhere in between, @TrishV - and yes, there are many triggers everywhere that may cause you to cry. It is actually very cathartic to have a good cry too!!   

Ring our Helpline on Monday (if you can) & have a chat if you find yourself feeling VERY sad - 1800 500 258 ..... and maybe listen to Charlotte Tottman's Podcasts - she is a longtime Breast Cancer Counsellor & was diagnosed back in 2018 (and had a double mastectomy and remained Flat ...) and was surprised at how she reacted herself to the diagnosis, compared to what she'd been advising clients for years!   Go to this link and click on the 4th topic (the one with 22 tracks) and start off with No 13 (the first of her First Series of Chats ....)  She is incredibly forthcoming with her own experience - and you will probably relate to a lot of it xx   She is also VERY easy to listen to - and discusses her partner & friends etc .... 
https://soundcloud.com/search?q=charlotte tottman

Charlotte was written up in a weekend Newspaper some years ago - I'll put the PDF at the bottom of my post, for you to read.  She had some professional photos taken after her surgery (very tasteful) ... and many of us do the same, before and AFTER our surgery, as a way of saying 'goodbye' to our boob 'as you knew it, even if you have a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy. I just took my own in the bathroom mirror ....  I haven't looked at them for years now!!   

Try & keep yourself as busy as you can, doing stuff you love.  Maybe cook up some meals so that you have some 'ready' for you after surgery/chemo in case you can't be bothered cooking xx

Take care - we have all been thru similar angst .... and yes, there IS light at the end of the tunnel

TrishV

@arpie
Thank you for reaching out and the podcast details..Thank you 🙏 

TrishV

@arpie what an inspirational article, thanks for sharing with me.💜

TrishV

Today I crashed, so tired, from all the shock, anxiety of being diagnosed. Normal I am guessing. 

arpie

Yep, @TrishV, it is totally normal - and remember to be kind to yourself too - you may not be able to do ALL that you're currently doing (family & work) up til now - so try & delegate or get family & friends to do things that you may find challenging (both mentally and physically) to take some pressure off you. xx We all try to be strong for our family & friends - but sometimes it is to your detriment. This may involve taking time off work if you are still working.

Remember, there is NO SHAME in asking for help xx.

Give our Helpline a call tomorrow too - - 1800 500 258  - just chatting to someone who 'understands' should help xx

take care

WhiteLight

Hi TrishV , there are so many good comments already so just wanted to say take one day at a time, have a good cry when needed, & now you have reached out keep talking & don't bottle things up. I've lived a life of internal stress & have so many health issues because of it. Keep sharing! Look after yourself & let others look after you too. xx

oseikka

Hi TrishV, we're all here for you. I remember how lonely and scary (and still is) being told you have breast cancer, and how kindness of strangers in these online forums got me through some of the most horrible thoughts in my head. So lean on us as much as you need/want because we're all going through it. Be kind and patient with yourself and the road ahead. From my own journey, it wasn't straightforward and there were setbacks, so important to have somewhere/someone you can talk to. I also found the waiting for the diagnosis/treatment/operation is the hardest. Sending you a massive hug

Maree72

Hi @TrishV
I'm so sorry to hear you have joined the group no one ever thinks they will join. I was 50 (Dec 2022) when I was 1st diagnosed with my breast cancer, (also a big busted chick here too)  I had a lumpectomy to remove, then was told to have radiation afterwards, but alas the 1st surgery left the cancer behind in the lymph nodes and a re occurrence happened thanks to that, and I was re diagnosed in the Aug of 2023, I'm still under gong treatment now, I went through chemo, now onto radiation, then back to oncology to talk about these hormone blockers,

I've also spent time researching eating healthy for living with breast cancer, and speaking with my naturopath - this has help me so much in what I can add into my daily diet, 
People will tell you to exercise too, 
I did this in my own time, and finding something that truly makes me happy, for me my choices are swimming and yoga, I personally hate walking, unless I'm out shopping in the shopping centres , haha
 
I found reaching out to the cancer council here in QLD (Brisbane office) so helpful, from the nurses to help you understand your options, to their psychologist, who i now see regularly to help me get through all this for my mental health,   
I find this online forum to also be helpful with many lovely and supportive people who can share their experiences and thoughts with  you, as well as some of the pod casts I have listen too.

its all overwhelming as you say as its completely normal, and so much runs through your head, the one thing I have learnt in my own journey is to value yourself, and ask questions if you do not like what you are being told, ask why, to things being told to you, if they don't sit well with you,
you know your own body.

Thinking of you, and wishing you nothing but good vibes as you go through this, and when ever you do feel alone, jumping on here is a great idea,

Some one said to me at the very start of my journey here on this forum, that you develop a thick skin over time, as when I was 1st diagnosed I got very upset on what & how various people (friends and family include) spoke to me about the cancer, it was extremely upsetting, but now I do have that thicker skin, and I've learnt how to handle such things being said so much better.

Never feel bad for asking for help. And please do ask for help, you shouldn't have to face this alone at all.
In my 51 years I never thought I would be speaking to a psychologist , but my goodness she has been a huge blessing to me.

Keep us updated on your journey, and best wishes xx

TrishV

I am so grateful to you all for taking time out of your day to message me and share your personal stories. You have all made me feel like I have a space I belong to that truly understands what we are going through.
I has scans yesterday and literally had a panic attack, couldn't breathe, crying. The nurses were outstanding to help me, and I have a new security blanket so to speak, a face washer over my eyes! 👀 Blocked out the machines, lights. I've never been sick and stepped in a hospital, so a simple scan machine freaked me out.
Even today at biopsy my face washer got me through!, couldn't see a thing. Gotta do what we gotta do and its coming everywhere with me. 😊
 I am really lucky to have amazing hospitals 5 mins from home, we have familiarity is a safety net for me, and not having to endure travelling.
I'm finding my home, my bedroom safe just for now, until I find a little more courage. A little walk to keep busy now and then, but all I can do at the moment.
My smiling moment today was being so thankful for the beautiful ladies who got me through my biopsy with less fear than yesterday. 
😊 and also for my courage. 
Love to you all ❤️