I think, I hope I have learnt my lesson. NO is not a mean word

cranky_granny

Its been quite some time since posting anything.
I do get on and have a quick browse for inspiration. And insight into reminding that I’m not alone and that What’s happening etc someone else has something similar regarding my Life since BC, 4+ long years 
Back to my TITLE. 
I was doing alright saying no for a time but back to my old habits, someone asks and I say yes before realising what the impact on me will be. 
between work and my regular babysitter (grandkids) duties which I love doing.
I have over committed myself again and have left myself so tired after the other requests I’ve said yes to,
I waste one of my days off in bed after lunch and not able to get up till it’s time to get ready for work. 
As I’m  having my 6 month Oncologist check up next week along with the usual tests before that. I said you are going to have to make other arrangements as I can’t fit it. Organise something else, quickly answered oh I’ll just go stay at ?! Place. Thats when I realised was being used by an 18 year old lazy brat that played on my generosity and sympathy. 

 I’m determined to get my life back. 
Regular walks 
Get Back into my hobbies
visiting my friends and family again
back to healthy eating at regular times.
Wish me luck getting it all to happen 

iserbrown

Nice to hear from you @cranky_granny

Saying No it's not always easy to family and friends but hopefully saying No now will make you feel liberated.  It's also a reminder the toll diagnosis and treatment has had.......fatigue, a gentle reminder to look after you!!

Best wishes in juggling work and home 

Take care

Blossom1961

@cranky_granny Old habits are hard to keep broken. I think in some ways it is comforting to us to resort to the way things used to be. I must have been quite strong in my 'no' during BC as people only ask me now if they really need me.

cranky_granny

Thanks @iserbrown your right about the toll this takes on our body and mind. The younger ones just say oh not again when I have lost something. 
Id like to hear I’ll do that for you.  doesn’t  happen very often anymore.  So the gutters etc are full.
my bones ache my head hurts my vision is failing fast and whole heap more just doesn’t work like it used to. But I’m alive and will soldier on. 

Yes @Blossom1961 old habits keep coming back. Once  upon a time it never bothered me. But now I don’t realise I haven’t got the stamina anymore till I’ve overdone it and crash. 

iserbrown

I hear you on the bone pain!  Drives me nutty!

cranky_granny

I wonder if we will ever be free of the post treatment side effects.
ive gotten used to the numb finger tips just keep my nails trimmed and no polish that feeling of always having dirt under them. And the toes and part of the 1 foot always feeling like they’re in icy water I can push that to the side.  
Pits the aches that never seem to go away unless I drug myself up. And that’s not happening till it can’t be avoided 

I just have to remember to slow the pace down. I can’t clean the entire house and yard in 1 day anymore 

Sister

It is so easy to fall into those habits.  I have to remember, too.  I realised yesterday that I also have to begin being specific about the time that I can help as afternoons and evenings can be just too much for me.  And it's hard to find a balance with others - you don't want them treating you all the time as that cancer person but you do need them to remember that you can't always do what you used to be able to.

wendy55

Hi to all of you lovely ladies, as I travelled the path of metastatic disease I learned quite early on that I would have to learn to be selfish and I have, not in the nasty sense of the word, simply I cannot do then nor now what I used to, my friends now know that I can only manage an hour or so for lunch or coffees then I have to go home and go to bed, they only have to take one look at me to know whats what, nearly no hair pale complexion and rings around my eyes, I now wear a hat or cap all of the time as after losing my hair for the third time I am over it, its a glorious day outside and my partner and the neighbour and his wife have all gone fishing together minus me, I simply cannot do it anymore, at least not for 3 or 4 hours, so I just potter around, I will have a nana nap at 1.00pm till 4.00 and then I am ready for bed at 8.30 I do not get up until 10.00, my body just wont let me, but hey I am alive.
I understand that its the drugs combination that I am and have been on for 8 years, I am so grateful for my family and friends they know whats happening and will plan things around me as best they can, my evening social life ended about 7 years ago and I am most happy in front of the tv watching a favourite program, that said I have managed to fold the washing my partner put out and have got the sprinklers on back and front I am not able to stand and water any more so I cheat!!,
my dog is the biggest loser in all of this as I cannot walk her any more just as well shes very happy running around the back yard chasing the sprinkler!!
Its so good to be able to talk like this knowing that you all understand, people have to walk in our shoes to get it!
Thanks again ladies,
wendy55

iserbrown

You're certainly a champion @wendy55!!

Heart goes out to you!

It is, unfortunately,  how it is but you have it under control and manage your days accordingly!

Cheers to effective treatment

Take care and best wishes 

PV123

Good luck to you @cranky_granny in your quest to get your life back.  After all we go through with this disease, we need a break.  You need to be able to do what you like.

@wendy55 your positive attitude is inspiring, best wishes to you.

cranky_granny

Thanks  all
went to one of my daughters house for a hug. 
And yes mum you have to go back to saying NO! 
Out of the mouths of babes.  my little namesake granddaughter comes over and has a cry on my lap and says I miss playing a your house with you nanny when are you going to be home for me to come.  Your always out.  we now have a play date booked
if that isn’t enough reason nothing is. 
Just needed that to show I was spreading myself too thin. 

Beryl C.

Me Too! Thanks Cranky-Granny for expressing this so well!

Its so good to be able to talk like this knowing that you all understand, people have to walk in our shoes to get it!

Thanks again ladies,

cranky_granny

Well my house lizard  has been away since Wednesday and I’ve been out and visited family went to the club for dinner and done the housework at a nice steady pace as  theres no drop off or pick up at stupid hours. He doesn’t get it it takes 2 hours out of my day
But anyway it has given me more incentive to get my NO happening more
living alone is great I can do so much more without having to consider anyone else. 
Had my play date was wonderful. 
More power to me I say