I think, I hope I have learnt my lesson. NO is not a mean word

It is so easy to fall into those habits.  I have to remember, too.  I realised yesterday that I also have to begin being specific about the time that I can help as afternoons and evenings can be just too much for me.  And it's hard to find a balance with others - you don't want them treating you all the time as that cancer person but you do need them to remember that you can't always do what you used to be able to.