Newly diagnosed - Just need some positivity and hope

Jacqui64

Hi Everyone.  This is my first post.  I am trying to navigate this network, because I know I need help.  I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer only 5 days ago.  I have many tests coming up, and treatment options.  But for now, I can't seem to find the strength.  I just need to hear some positive stories, some good stories, some hopeful stories, so that I can muster enough determination to stop crying for one thing, and to get my anxiety level down.  I have an amazing family, and they also need some hope.  I am 56, and was originally diagnosed 13 years ago with early breast cancer, and was told "you are cured"????  I am sorry to sound so desperate, but I'm still in that place where my world feels like it's ending.  Thank you for reading, and I send hugs to everyone. 

MicheleR

Hi @Jacqui64,

I am so sorry to hear about your recent troubles. Sending you a virtual hug. X

Afraser

Dear @Jacqui64
You’re still in shock - this is never the news anyone wants, especially when you thought you had left breast cancer far behind you. The world hasn’t ended but you have good reasons to find it hard to accept that. As days go by, and tests are done, and treatments proposed, you will gradually accept that the world (bit weird as it is) is still there, you are still part of it and can be for a long time to come. You just need to let your brain and body yell and shout a bit, first. Many others here on the network know first hand what you are going through and I am sure will send their stories to assist. Hope is always there, it just needs a bit of searching to locate it sometimes. Best wishes. 

Beryl C.

hello @Jacqui64 - to use a sporting term, this 'hits you for six!'. Diagnosed nine years ago I can remember feeling as though the world had tilted on its axis. Afraser is right, you are still in shock, remember all feelings are ok. Stay connected, this is a very safe place to tell it as it is for you. Hugs.

jennyss

Dear @Jacqui64

and best wishes from jennyss in Western NSW

Jacqui64

MicheleR said:

Hi @Jacqui64,

I am so sorry to hear about your recent troubles. Sending you a virtual hug. X

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness.  I send a huge hug back to you. x

Jacqui64

Afraser said:

Dear @Jacqui64
You’re still in shock - this is never the news anyone wants, especially when you thought you had left breast cancer far behind you. The world hasn’t ended but you have good reasons to find it hard to accept that. As days go by, and tests are done, and treatments proposed, you will gradually accept that the world (bit weird as it is) is still there, you are still part of it and can be for a long time to come. You just need to let your brain and body yell and shout a bit, first. Many others here on the network know first hand what you are going through and I am sure will send their stories to assist. Hope is always there, it just needs a bit of searching to locate it sometimes. Best wishes. 

Thank you so very much for your message.  This has really resonated with me, and helped me to realise that I'm not losing my mind.  Every now and then I can think clearly about it, and then the tears come.  Today I walked for 7kms, to prove to myself that I am stronger than I think.  Thank you, from me and my children, who read your message. xx

Jacqui64

Beryl C. said:

hello @Jacqui64 - to use a sporting term, this 'hits you for six!'. Diagnosed nine years ago I can remember feeling as though the world had tilted on its axis. Afraser is right, you are still in shock, remember all feelings are ok. Stay connected, this is a very safe place to tell it as it is for you. Hugs.

Thank you so much Beryl.  It certainly does hit you for six, especially when you have no symptoms at all.  It's definitely hard to hear, and shock is exactly what happened.  I will definitely stay connected.  I already feel better knowing there are other ladies who just get it, and whom I can talk too.  My family are amazing, but I know they will need a break from it at times too.  xx

Jacqui64

jennyss said:

Dear @Jacqui64

and best wishes from jennyss in Western NSW

I send back the biggest bear hugs possible.  Thank you so much for caring. xxxxx

ddon

Jacqui, take your strength with both hands and know that you only have to do one day at a time. Next week doesn’t matter, and what might happen next month. You only have to do one day. Sending a big hug for you and for your family. Xx

FLClover

Hello @Jacqui64
It’s a shock the first time, so I can’t even imagine the second. Sounds like you are handling it better than you think, which is great. You are proving to yourself you are strong so that you can beat it again, and you are reaching out for help 👌🏻. You will definitely need to cry, be angry, shout etc, that’s a normal part of it. Lots of women have beaten it more than once, so hope should always be a priority. But I think one thing you always need to remember, that I think will help you come out of your cancer bubble of despair (this is how I felt and still sometimes do) is that you are very important and you deserve to be here on this Earth just as much as anyone else. And don’t let anyone or anything, especially not this cancer, tell you otherwise 👊🏻💪🏻🤗😘. 

Mon 🍀 Xx

Jacqui64

ddon said:

Jacqui, take your strength with both hands and know that you only have to do one day at a time. Next week doesn’t matter, and what might happen next month. You only have to do one day. Sending a big hug for you and for your family. Xx

You're so right.  I've always been one to plan ahead, and think about what I need to do for something that's happening in a months time.  Now I need to learn to focus on one day at a time.  That is enough sometimes.  Thank you so much. xxx

Jacqui64

FLClover said:

Hello @Jacqui64
It’s a shock the first time, so I can’t even imagine the second. Sounds like you are handling it better than you think, which is great. You are proving to yourself you are strong so that you can beat it again, and you are reaching out for help 👌🏻. You will definitely need to cry, be angry, shout etc, that’s a normal part of it. Lots of women have beaten it more than once, so hope should always be a priority. But I think one thing you always need to remember, that I think will help you come out of your cancer bubble of despair (this is how I felt and still sometimes do) is that you are very important and you deserve to be here on this Earth just as much as anyone else. And don’t let anyone or anything, especially not this cancer, tell you otherwise 👊🏻💪🏻🤗😘. 

Mon 🍀 Xx

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this message.  I have read it so many times.  Every part of it is so helpful.  I cry and then I get mad at myself, but as you say, you need to cry.  I love "lots of women have beaten it more than once" - this is so important for me to hear.  And yes, my new mantra is "I deserve to be here on this Earth just as much as anyone else".  I wish I could hug you right now.  Thank you. xxxxx

Giovanna_BCNA

Hello @Jacqui64 sending you a request to join the 'living with metastatic breast cancer group' which you may not be aware of and which is also part of our online community.  

Jacqui64

Giovanna_BCNA said:

Hello @Jacqui64 sending you a request to join the 'living with metastatic breast cancer group' which you may not be aware of and which is also part of our online community.  

Hi Giovanna (my calm voice on the other end of the phone last week).  I will look it up now.  Thanks for the reminder.  xx

Michele B

[email protected], 
I just wanted to send you my best wishes, love and strength.
I think we all vividly remember the whirlwind of emotions that hit us upon diagnosis. Shock for us, and for our families.  
As a mum and nan myself, I know how deeply our family feels our  pain and how difficult it is to for us to see them hurting too. 
It is their love and strength that will see you through the tough days and fight to stay with them. As others have said there are many women who have fought this disease more than once and who continue to fight.
I have friends who have done much better than they ever dared hope for. Take strength from this and just take one day at a time. Focus on getting through each day and each appointment,  one at a time and try to stop getting to far ahead of yourself. Much easier said than done, I know. We all do this.  
The support and love of your family and from the ladies here, will help you when it all feels overwhelming.
Sending big hugs,
Michele xxx