Mastectomy looming

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Winetime
Winetime Member Posts: 8
edited March 2020 in Day to day
This time next week I’ll be having my double mastectomy. For the first time since diagnosis I’m feeling so sad and swamped with gloom. The lumpectomy and the entire node removal left me mentally unscathed believing I’d be okay and able to cope with whatever was to come. I know I have no choice and to save my life these breasts that have turned on me have to begone. But .... it’s all so hard to comprehend. My glass half full look on life is now feeling decidedly shaky. Thankful for my fabulous family and friends though and today I randomly turned to a page in a daggy old mag at pathology quoting one of Winston Churchill’s sayings ... “If you’re going through hell... keep going.” I’ll try to keep that in mind. 

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  • Tinks
    Tinks Member Posts: 234
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    You’ve got this, you can do this, one day at a time.  Some days will be better than others, it’s ok to feel all kinds of reactions as you work through this. I have had a single mastectomy and axillary node removal in September, no reconstruction was advised,  finished chemo and am just in radiotherapy, it’s surprising to me how quickly I have started to adjust on being flat on one side. It’s starting to be !how I look! instead of supremely challenging to see myself In the mirror. Your glass half full attitude will support you. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Xx 
  • Nefertari
    Nefertari Member Posts: 288
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    Sending you a big hug.  Hope all goes well and you are able to keep that positivity going, reach out if you need help.  I like Winston's quote by the way <3
  • PV123
    PV123 Member Posts: 202
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    Good luck with your surgery @Winetime.  I had bilateral mastectomies 4 weeks back.  It was easier than I expected.
  • Winetime
    Winetime Member Posts: 8
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    Thanks you girls. Comforting to know I’m a member of a massive club none of us want to join. 
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
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    I had it done almost two years ago, and a recon. Are you going flat or reconstructing? K xox
  • Fiona2
    Fiona2 Member Posts: 69
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    Feels so hard yet we have no choice but to do and get through what we've got to do.  Maybe you're stronger and softer than you think.  Sending you a big hug.  Fiona xoxoxo
  • Winetime
    Winetime Member Posts: 8
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    Well kmakm that’s the other decision. Reconstruction or stay deconstructed. Currently I’d rather set my hair on fire than face more surgery. And that’s a silly saying seeing I won’t have any hair soon. A lady I know has a glorious work of art tattooed on her chest. Bluebirds and blossoms and twining roses. Maybe I’ll do that but it’s well down the track. Get all this other crap out of the way first. Meanwhile I have this beautiful pussy cat on my lap, purring away and blinking at me with love eyes. He’s telepathing me. It’ll be alright Mum xx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,566
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  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
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    @Winetime I'm going to have fun with tattoos! Looking forward to it.
  • Pusskat
    Pusskat Member Posts: 13
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    @Winetime I am three weeks post bilateral mastectomy surgery. Mine was scheduled to be around the same time as yours but Covid shutdowns got in the way and postponed things for a while. I hope you got to proceed with yours and that you are recovering well. There are so many emotions to deal with and new physical sensations to get your head around, aren’t there?! Ever since chemo, I feel a bit like I am having to relearn my body’s new normal and I can’t trust what it says anymore. This is starting to pass now as things settle, and getting some medication to help me sleep has certainly helped. When they say, Sleep is the great healer, they aren’t kidding! 

    I am not sure what I will do next. Have you decided? If I am to have a reconstruction, it will be from my tummy, but it seems that I still have some weight to lose before that can be done, so I have some thinking time. It will also include ovary removal as my cancer was HER2+ (and the estrogen suppression meds suck!). It’s kind of a relief not to have to carry around my G cups anymore anyway. Plus the idea of more surgery is pretty far down my wish list right now. 

    Anyway, I hope you are doing ok. Kat
  • Winetime
    Winetime Member Posts: 8
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    Well hello. 9 weeks on from the mastectomy and round 5 of chemo under the belt. 3 more to go so I’m over the hump. Life is slowly.... can’t say getting back to normal but maybe I’m accepting the new normal. Along with everything else going on in the world. Able now to stretch and do light weight exercises and walking every day which is so good for the poor old bod. Getting used to looking like that poor chick who was munched off the buoy in Jaws is also getting easier. But then again I didn’t flash my tits before so I won’t be starting now. Radiation to go and I hope to be sparkling again in September just in time for my granddaughters second birthday. Hope you continue to do well my dear. 
  • Winetime
    Winetime Member Posts: 8
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    And PS. No reconstruction for me. To think of more surgery and tissue expanders and skin stretching and .....Nup. Maybe a lovely work of art ...tattooed one day. In no hurry. 
  • Tinks
    Tinks Member Posts: 234
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    Wow @winetime you are going so well! Keep going!!

    I had a right mastectomy and axillary clearance, was told no talk of reconstruction until after radiotherapy. Now RT is over and skin healing up well, I like my lovely flat scar and I’m not at this time going to pursue reconstruction. 

    Flat and lopsided it is for me!

    lots of love Tinks xx