Living in fear

I was diagnosed earlier this year, i had surgery and just finished chemo now on radiation. Doctors said after treatment the chance of reccurrence is low but since day one im living in fear of the cancer coming back and i dont know how to cope sometimes i just sit and cry when no one is at home.
Tagged:
0
Comments
Everyone who has been diagnosed experiences this fear, to a greater or lesser extent. It’s pretty natural. The first diagnosis is invariably a shock, irrespective of whether you are at a particularly high risk or not, and bangs home the message that you are not the one who is never going to get cancer! So if once, why not twice? You have been through the recommended treatment, unpleasant as it is and you did that to have a life. Living in fear is a half life at best. It does get easier to let the fear go as you end treatment and time passes, but you can help it along by addressing what you fear most with a professional counsellor. Many people have found talking to a stranger invaluable - even for a short time. The mind gets bashed around as much as the body in this game, and some sorting out can help get your balance back. My day oncology staff made a terrific recommendation for a counsellor experienced with cancer patients. Best wishes.
Me too. When no one is around I have a little snivel and whinge to myself, (actually a big snivel and whinge) then I try to go and do something. Usually in the sewing and gardening range.
For a long time I tried to fight the fear, now I have come to the realisation that I have been hit by a very long road train, one that I did not see coming.
It is normal, as others on this wonderful support forum will reassure you.
It has now been 2 years post treatment, and yes the fear is still there daily, I still snivel and whinge to myself, but I am now able to distract myself.
Be gentle on yourself, it is still very very early days. If you find that your down times and fear is becoming overwhelming then a visit to your GP to investigate an allied health plan may be in order. I found that anti anxiety medication and counselling via the allied health plan was very helpful.
Warm Kimberley wishes to you.
Annie
That's good that your aunties are still around (even if they've forgotten the details) after their own BC treatment ....
As @Annie C suggested - the counselling could be a great help in giving you 'coping strategies' ....
All the best to you xx
Like everyone has already mentioned "we all freak out" about recurrence. As time goes on it does become less stressful. Even hopping on the bloody brilliant BCNA Online chats is a wondeful way to let it all out.
As the others have said, recurrence is always something that's at the back of our minds. I find that thinking of the future in 'chunks' can really help. Because I work in a school, my life revolves around school terms so I think one term ahead and then when I look back it's like 'wow'! It's already been 18 months since my diagnosis - where did that time go?
Don't be surprised that you might feel a bit more 'lost' when active treatment finishes. That's when you're in a sort of limbo. As time goes on though, it's a little easier to adjust to the new normal and enjoy each day as it comes.
Lots of hugs xxxx
xx
Welcome lovely. As the ladies have already said this is absolutely and perfectly normal as is the "limbo land" after active treatment ends. That first year after I found the most difficult and is a windy road back. It does get easier to shove it to the far reaches of your mind the further you get down the track. It's never going to go completely but you can put it away it for longer. The crying gets less and you start to take a lot more notice of the good moments and appreciate them. In fact, I make a conscious effort to seek those moments out daily. Things you never even noticed before because you were too busy take on a different meaning. Make the time to stop and look around at the sky, watch the birds, feel the breeze on your face, look at the sunset for just a moment. Those moments start to add up. I wish I had have done that sooner.
It's a long road lovely but you'll get there. Promise.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
There's a fact sheet which may be of some help to you. As the others have said it is natural to feel this way as it is such a huge event in our lives and we have such a heightened awareness of self
Hope you are travelling well
https://www.bcna.org.au/media/4167/bcna-fact-sheet-fear-of-cancer-recurrence-jan-2017.pdf