New to Support Network

Annika37

Hello
I am 36 years old and was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer (right breast and tumours on my left lung) in May 2018. I have been having chemotherapy since then and no end in sight so far. I have two very young children and I guess I was just hoping to connect with other women in a similar position as me or women who are living with metastatic BC as I’m determined to beat this and reading others survival stories helps me hold onto a sense of hope x  

wendy55

Hi @Annika37,
Oh my dear, I am so very sorry to hear your news,I am very glad you have come to this site as there are several ladies in the same position as you @Tennile, perhaps you could offer some advice as you have a young family, also @Joinmelb,
I know that you are new to the group, perhaps some encouraging words?.
Do you have support at home, you say you have been having chemo since May, what treatment are you on?, 
Just to let you know that I am 5 and a half years on this rocky path and I am still here!!! and plan on being for a very long time.
@Kattykit, perhaps you could tell annika your story and where you are now?
There are plenty of resources out there, just a matter of navigating the system, have you spoken to the BCNA Nurses, on the 1800 number, they are fantastic and a very good listening ear,do you have any pyschology support, BCNA has a wonderful resource in place for us with mets, they have the services of a Dr.Carrie Lethborg, she specializes in cancer patients and if you ring the 1800 number you can make an appointment with her, she will ring you in the privacy of your own home at a time good for you{when the kids are in bed} and you can have a chat with her, she is also available to talk to family/partners as well, you dont mention a partner,if you have one,I am very sure that this has had a huge impact on them
as well,you have a good attitude, and thats what we all have to have, I know I have too much living to do to give in to cancer,but I am 63 and do not have a young family so I am hoping that someone else will drop by in your age group and give you some help, you sound a very strong woman and thats what we all are as well, be gentle on your self, you are not wonder woman, I know that we think that we are, but we are not and its okay to have days when you are NOT okay -
please keep in touch and let us know how you are managing, there is also a discussion group here called Night Howls, and there is alsways someone on line during the night who cannot sleep, if you feel like a chat,sorry I cannot give you a big hug in person and share a coffee with you, 
wendy55

Annika37

Hello @wendy55 😊 thank you for replying. I’ve been on Abraxane, FEC and now Carbogem. My oncologist gave me a break from chemo in Oct last year and I thought I would be able to have radiation and then surgery to remove my breast tumour but the tumours began to grow within 3 weeks so back on chemo again. I have wonderful support from family and friends and have been in contact with Mummy’s Wish. I am also seeing a Psych and exercise physiologist through my income protection policy. 

When I was first diagnosed the breast surgeon told me I couldn’t be cured and that I would die. I understand the not being able to be cured part but I am determined to see my children (Abby 4 and Jack nearly 2) into adulthood so once I got over the shock I got angry with her and determined to prove her wrong. 

5 1/2 years - that’s a long journey but you must be a fighter too - would you mind if I ask what treatment, if any, you are currently on? How are you going after all this time xx 

Joinmelb

Hi Annika,
I'm about to head out but will check back in tomorrow for a lengthy email. Like you, I have stage 4 breast cancer after having a lumpectomy and lymph node clearance back in 2016.  I have had 6 months of chemo, shitloads of radiation and thought I was on the home stretch (all in 2016).......until just recently!!! I have just been diagnosed as having mets in my bones.  I'm still waiting on appt with oncologist to see what happens next but holy heck I plan on being here for a long while and seeing my kids grow up, and I'm a really stubborn bitch as most of my friends say.  
I've become a single mum since my last brush with cancer (ex blamed me for getting cancer and because I had ongoing issues with infections in arm I couldn't go on the holidays he wanted to - so so long sucker) so this time around has hit me particularly hard.
My counsellor has been amazing and I've taken a day by day approach and I have learned to say no to things and ask for help when needed.  This has been so much easier asking for help this time around as last time ex husband was out training for marathons and stuff and I felt incredibly guilty asking for friends help when it should have been him.
Each day is a new day and the sun will rise tomorrow, it may not be where you wanted to be in life at this particular moment, I'm sure all of us wish it away, but try and find joy in the simple things. 
My kids are older than yours (14 and 12) but I know how hard it must be for you!  
Sending you the biggest cyber hug and I'll check back in tomorrow 
xoxoxoxo

arpie

I am sorry to read of your diagnosis, @Annika37 - where abouts are you (Town and/or state)?  We may have members who have more info on resources available to you in that state.  

That breast surgeon needs an urgent course in humanity (and a good slap across the face!)   There are ways of delivering news that isn't good - and that wasn't one of them.  

Also, check out the Otis Foundation - you should be able to book in a family holiday with kind hearted folk who allow their holiday homes to be used by those with Breast Cancer.
https://www.otisfoundation.org.au/directory

All the best with your ongoing treatment - and wishing you and your family well xx

Blossom1961

Hi @Annika37 I am not in the same position however I can speak from a friends experience who isn’t on the forum. They found bone cancer in her hip 4 1/2 years ago. I am not sure of her age but I think she is around 43 now. Her children at the time were 7 and 9 and her son has slight autism. They cut it out then she found a huge growth under her arm. They cut that out also. At her Insistence they did further tests and found she had breast cancer which was the foundation for the others. They cut that out also and did radiation. Three years later it was all back plus in her liver. They told her there was nothing they could do for her. She refused to accept it as she had children who needed her care. After standing her ground they decided to do chemo even though they said it wouldn’t work. A year later, The cancerous cells have halved. She will be monitored and after a break if they start to grow again she will be back on chemo. Never accept a doctors gloom diagnose. There are a lot of treatments out there. Everyone responds differently. I have heard the Chinese medicine in conjunction with traditional treatment can be highly effective but Again, everyone is different.  Big hugs

Kiwi Angel

@Annika37. I’m in a different situation but just wanted to send u a big virtual hug and let u know we r all here for u. 

wendy55

Hi @Annika37,
So pleased that some of the wonderful ladies here have responded, you are not alone,we get it, we care, as you can see from the above messages, and as for the surgeon who gave the dreadful news, he needs some customer service skills!!! I was told in a similar fashion, as far as I am concerned, how long is a piece of string!!! you have all the right resources and support in place and are doing everything that you possibly can, the treatment I was on was called xeloda, but after nearly 3 years, thats now been changed to a drug called navelbine, I have an array of bony mets, however the main problem is my liver which also has tumours, still Im here, and plan on being for a long while, I have a grandaughter who will be 18 in March and I plan on being here for her 21st, her wedding and her children, so cancer TAKE THAT AND SUCK IT UP!!!!
wendy55 

Kattykit

Hi Annika, I can only echo what everyone else here has said, that doctor really is a piece of work , but it's your oncologist you need to put your faith in and I'm sure he/she will throw everything at this, I for one intend to be here for the long haul, you've got this and all of us here have got your back!

Sister

@Annika37 I'm sorry to see you hear but glad that you've found us.  Your doctor sounds like he needs to go back to school for some lessons in how to deal with people.  We're all going to die - we just need to live awhile longer.

I'm not in the same situation as you but I do understand your worries about your kids.  Mine are a bit older - 2 teens and an almost.

You may wish to join the Mets group and the Young Women's group.  Click on the links on the side or bottom (depending on whether you're using a phone or PC).  As these are private groups, you have to request to join.

Take care.

Annika37

Thank you so much lovely ladies for replying to me. I was so hesitant to join up but am very glad I did. I really appreciate you sharing your stories with me and those of your friends. You really have given me the boost of strength I’ve been needing lately xx