Xmas diagnosis delays
Skinnylatte
Member Posts: 10 ✭
After 1st seeing gp xmas eve ("concerning symptoms"), wait for imaging centre to reopen after public holidays. Back to gp today - knowing it was bad news, now have to wait for breast surgeon's room to reopen after new year, to even book an appointment (which apparently should be next week, not to wait any longer). Talk about bad timing. Don't want to tell kids yet. But dreading a very quick turnaround to surgery, though scared to wait even a few extra weeks. 45, no family history, this is a bolt from the blue.
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So sorry to see you here but glad you've found us. You don't say how old your kids are but do remember that they probably know that something is wrong and sometimes keeping it secret can end up being far scarier for them. Waiting to find out what is what is really hard. Try to take things a day at a time and don't forget to breathe. Come back for any info, support and a laugh or two.1
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3 years I found a lump on 17th December. I managed a scan and biopsy on the 22nd but didn't get my result until 28th, so I know how hard this all is. I managed an appointment at a public hospital on 4/1 and had surgery on 25/1 after a barrage of additional tests.
The waiting feels an eternity but it will all happen soon. At this stage most breast care nurses are on leave also but by Monday next week everything should be up and running.0 -
Welcome to the forum, @Skinnylatte - ask away ANY question that you may have - we'll do our best to demystify it for you.
I was in your shoes exactly this time last year - no family history etc - yep a bolt from the blue! .... I had my biopsy just the day before on Dec 28th ..... and didn't get results til Jan 5th (positive for BC.) I saw my surgeon on his 1st day back at work after his Xmas Hols on Jan 15th & had my surgery on Jan 17th! BOOM!
The waiting sucks - and it doesn't get any easier - but once you see your surgeon & 'have a plan' .... then it all starts to take shape.
As @sister says - deep breaths, take it as it comes. DON'T USE Dr Google - BC is such an individual thing - until you've discussed it with your surgeon - try not to pre-empt it. (Difficult tho it is.)
Do you have a trusted family member or close friend to go with you to the Surgeon? It is very difficult to 'hear everything' whilst making decisions - and they may well be able to help you out there, as well as physical support. Your surgeon should also have a Breast Care Nurse there, that you can ask questions & should be able to help you get your appointments all sorted. Ask about the Small Pillow (for post op comfort) and also a soft Berlei Bra for Post op comfort (support with no wire.)
BCNA has an 'online journal' that you can use to put down your thoughts & keep track of your Appointments as well as given info on all sorts of stuff .....
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/resources/my-journey-online-tool/
Some tips on telling family & friends - I just told those who I thought would support me best (I didn't even tell some family members, as I didn't need any added stress.) I ended up doing a 'bulk email' to most of my buddies, telling them I may or may not be able to get back to their individual emails ..... but would keep them updated as things moved along! MUCH easier than doing person by person!
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/
In the mean time, do what you love doing - keep busy - then the mind doesn't go off in wild tangents!
Ask any question that you like here - those who've gone before you will do their best to help you understand what is going on. It is an explosion of information at any given time at this moment ......
Take care & I hope you can have a Happy New Year with your kids xxx1 -
I feel you @Skinnylatte. I was a December diagnosis last year. A flurry of activity and then everyone disappeared. Phones went unanswered, I was floundering and felt completely abandoned. At this stage I was waiting on a test result, that normally takes two - three days, to see if I had to have chemotherapy or not. It took nine days.
I have four children. At the time of diagnosis they were three days off 18, 14, just 12 and 9. The latter two are my niece and nephew who I'm raising because their mother, my sister, died from breast cancer seventeen months before my diagnosis. Telling them was quite simply the worst thing I've ever had to do. But you know what, a year later we're all still here, in one piece. Well, except me. Still here but minus a couple of pieces!
I won't pretend it was easy, but your children might surprise you. My elder two rose to the situation in their own quiet way. How old are yours? There is lots of support for kids going through this, and help for you to help them. My specific advice is to tell them when you have a bit of a plan. They will appreciate the concrete information. Tailor it to their age and their personalities. Some children need detail, others broadstrokes. You'll soon know.
Make sure friends and other family don't come in flapping and wailing! I strove to keep things as 'normal' as possible. Which wasn't very normal at all, but the moment you crack down on bad behaviour, even if you're in a fainting condition on your bed, they'll feel much better!
It can also be a time when kids learn greater independence and some useful household skills... Cancer as a learning experience!
Try not to worry about an extra few weeks. If it was ultra urgent the docs would have you in surgery quick smart. This concern comes up here a lot, many have queried it, and there doesn't serm to be any medical alarm that we can tell.
Everything will be better for you when there's a plan. Whereabouts in Australia are you?
Come here to voice your worries, concerns, queries, rants, laughs and tears. While everyone's path through this diagnosis is different, our feelings are remarkably similar. We get it. Big, big hug lovely. K xox1 -
Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet.
It can be a whirlwind when we first get a diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time.
How to post on the main forum – use this link to get to the main forum and begin a new post. https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/post/discussion
Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.
Breast Care Nurses
https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx
My Journey online tool and other resources.
My Journey Online Tool resources
https://myjourney.org.au/hp/step5https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/
BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258
If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays.
How to understand your pathology reports
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Thanks for your responses, not feeling so isolated already. Thanks. 8 & 10yo will get there, though missing the summer holiday they've been talking about all year will hit hard. Planning to squeeze in as many fun things as i can for them, before I meet surgeon and it all gets very real. In SE Melbourne, btw.1
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@Skinnylatte Outer-east here, so just a bit north of you. Yes, BC has a way of ruining our plans. My last summer was shot, but I'm making it up to them all this summer. Rolling with the punches is a life lesson I wish my kids didn't have to learn so early but, what to do? It is what it is. Hang in there, and take it one day at a time. K xox0
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Last Christmas holidays sucked for us, too as I ended up with 2 surgeries - 1 on the 21 Dec and 1 on 8 Jan. But my kids were fantastic - 11, 12 & 15 at the time. It was a tough time, but they rose to the occasion. I told them that I would always tell them what I knew ( I keep the what-ifs to myself).
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1 year of your life of shortened holidays for a lifetime of much more fun in store. Enjoy keeping busy. Your kids will surprise you with their resilience. Kath x1
